Am tired... and a bit sad... frustrated... angry.

And whilst I should really write about it and get it out of my system I'm too numb at the moment to do so. Does this even count as a post? 

I need some hugs... 

peace,

Rtr

My girl ppl...

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."  ~Lois Wyse

Already I have missed a day... ah well. I went out with some of my girl ppl last night. I am fortunate I think that I have such strong friendships... All my life at some point or the other I always make girl friends... In any endeavour I undertake I must remember that I shall never be alone because at some point I will make a girl friend. 

The group I went out with is perhaps my longest lasting group... I did my Bachelor's with them... and so I've known them since 2001. There are girls I'm friends with... best friends from when I was little... There are girls I am now becoming friends with... This group however is the longest lasting group that has stayed together.

I don't know if they realise how much they keep me sane... In a world of crazy people and circumstances I know I can count on them to have my back. To tell me when I'm messing up or when I'm being fabulous. We laugh and cry, gossip and shop, support each other through relationships and breakups, have dessert at odd moments. 

I don't know if guys have the same kind of relationships that girls do... If they don't then these friendships I have make me so very glad to be female. 

I ♥ u my girl ppl... last night totally rocked... even if we did have trouble figuring out left and right... the play was good... the pic-taking was fun... yay us!

peace,

Rtr

Stillness...

"The Full Moon occurs about one week after the First Quarter, but you can feel its influence for two days before and after the exact phase. The high energy stimulates great productivity and there’s a sense of things coming to culmination or fruition." ~Tarot.com

I like that moment in between waking and sleeping. That's what it feels like now...though even more electrically charged... It's a Full Moon tomorrow :)

peace,

Rtr

Forever a student?

"I like to learn, but I don't like to be taught" ~ Winston Churchill

I'm momentarily wallowing in self-pity... Why? Cuz this is my 1st totally free moment of today... Saturday... and Saturday's almost gone. 

I'm pursuing my MBA... it's not really something I wanted to get into but more something I feel like I should do - it seems to be the next logical step. Does it make me happy? Jury's still out... especially when I get home at late hours and have no time to just be. Will it be beneficial? Yes, at least in terms of being marketable and getting a job and such...

I like learning... I like the content of the courses and the discussions that arise. I like interacting with people in class and observing and contributing and just generally I like the growth involved. One of my teachers is fond of saying that an MBA is not just a piece of paper but a life experience and when you come out of it you think and operate on a whole different level. It amuses me cuz I think that every day is a life experience that changes your thoughts and operations...perhaps others don't see it that way?

I'm tired. It seems like I've been saying that a lot lately and maybe that's what needs to change. I need to be manifesting vitality... just so I can keep up with work and class and group projects and all the drama that is life... 

For now, I'm going to bed. 

peace,

Rtr

Starting...

"The grace to be a beginner is always the best prayer for an artist. The beginner’s humility and openness lead to exploration. Exploration leads to accomplishment. All of it begins at the beginning, with the first small and scary step."
~ Julia Cameron 

It's probably one of the things I find hardest to do... starting a project. Whether it be with blogging... or with work... or with school assignments... or anything really... the hardest part for me is starting. 

Here I am though. At the beginning... once again. That's the second hardest thing for me I guess... What is? Continuing... lol... I've started a blog so many times as I've started journalling so many times and yet at this moment here I am starting all over again. 

I've always told people and I've always known that one of my best modes of expression is through writing. My thoughts flow direct from my brain to my fingers in a continuous stream of what's going on...what's happening...what I'm thinking... self-inquiry at its best perhaps. 

Why do I stop then? Why is it that I've got to start all over? I think it's that I get so caught up in what's going on and what I'm doing and what I have to do/got to do/should be doing that I don't take that moment necessary to process... 

This is it then... another attempt on the journey. I'm not going to feel guilty if I fall off the wagon... I am going to commit to doing this till my birthday... Day by day I'll see how it goes... it's said that if you do an activity for a month it becomes a habit... I guess I'll be finding out.

peace, 
Rtr