Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Apathy & Inertia...

"Without knowing what I am and why I am here, life is impossible." ~ Leo Tolstoy

Ever wondered what people think about you? What do they see when they look at you? How do they feel when they interact with you? I've spent some time wondering. I don't quite know the answer. To some, I come across as mature-responsible-adult... or as fun-friendly-happy... or as capable-aware-knowledgable... or as gloomy-sad-tired. Different aspects of myself are exposed in different situations I guess. Different projections as it were.

I've been feeling grumpy about the world at large. Last week I had to work a career day at a prestigious all-boys school. The students (boys from age 11ish - 18ish) did not particularly care about what we were there to tell them. There was no hint of interest... nothing beyond the want of 'free ting' (promotional items from my company: pencils, lanyards and the most popular - a combo measuring tape/led flashlight). Was I like that at that age? I don't think so (I sincerely hope not) - how can they not think about what they should be doing, where they should be going, what exists around them? If this is our future people then I am .. concerned.

I went to the University of the West Indies Food Fest Exhibition (in celebration of World Food Day) this weekend. Whilst I was only there for a short period of time I thought that there was a significant lack of persons attending. Although it is heartening to see the amount of effort put out by the University and the Ministry of Food Production, Land and Marine Affairs in presenting this exhibition - I thought that more persons should have come out to see and learn about what is essentially seeing about a basic need (we do all need food right? - no breatharians yet). It's a largely apathetic society we're living in - while I'm sure there must be something I should be doing to help persons get out of this rut I don't know what it is.

And speaking of ruts... my dissertation is not going anywhere. I've gotten advice from family and friends about writing and planning and laying it all out - I can't seem to get myself to care about it... or do anything remotely related to it. Is it inertia as so many suggest? Is it my higher self saying why are you doing this? Again I don't know.

All I know in this moment is that I've got to find my way somehow. That's about it.



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