Friday, January 14, 2011

Kinda.. sorta.. in-between?

"A traveler am I, and a navigator, and every day I discover a new region within my soul." ~Kahlil Gibran

I'm feeling a bit .. hazy. Not quite sure how to describe it. Tomorrow I leave for California - it's an all-day travelling experience from Piarco to Miami to Dallas to Santa Ana. It takes me back 4 hours in time... California is apparently 4 hours behind us. Am excited/thrilled/happy to be travelling and going somewhere new and meeting up with people... at the same time I'm anxious/tired/stressed cuz I'm wondering what's gonna happen here with my family and tired cuz it's been very hectic getting tickets (which increase in price constantly) and organising funds and arranging for leave and stressed cuz it's new... yes I do like meeting new ppl and old ppl that are new cuz I haven't seen them in so long but it's still somewhat stressful to me.

Yesterday was the anniversary of my grandma's death (on my mom's side) - I'd never have remembered if my brother hadn't been grumbling that my mom had been moody all day and then she grumped that well it was the day of her mom's death so she was allowed to be grumpy. I don't remember death days. Birthdays -yes... anniversaries - sometimes... death days? barely. It feels kinda strange to be going to a wedding now of my cousin who was close to my grandparents and not have them be there. Time passes and we forget yet remember.

It's also the 60th anniversary of my secondary school... Holy Faith Convent (Couva) was the first secondary school in Central Trinidad... my mom, her sisters, my cousins and I have gone there... Last night on the news they were showing clips of the school and students and etc. I remember what it was like to go there, the classes and the uniforms and the friendships. I had, I think, a pretty calm school life... very little drama, lots of fun days... When you're in them you think of what's ahead and it's only when it's gone that you wish you'd taken the time to treasure it more.

I'm in a mood. Nostalgic? Hmm.. maybe. Saving up the energy to fully enjoy and appreciate the next two weeks away from work and home. The thing about it is that I would enjoy it just as much if my home ppl were going too. Ah well.

I'm gonna be a bridesmaid ;)

peace,
Ren

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