Pages

Monday, July 11, 2011

Thoughts on marriage...

"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." ~Amy Bloom

Every lunchtime when we're at work... and we're able to get to the kitchen/lunchroom between the hours of 12.10 - 1.10... and we're able to snag the remote, Shoeaholic and I try to watch Oprah. Of course, as the world knows, there is no more Oprah... just Oprah reruns which is fine for me since I haven't seen all the episodes (I'm not as dedicated a fan as Shoeaholic).
 
Today's rerun was the show that aired on January 28th this year - Love, Marriage, Betrayal: Our Most Memorable Couples Return and whilst we didn't see the entire episode we did see that part which featured David and Elizabeth Weinlick. Apparently David, at age 28, decided that it was time to be married... he set a date, bought rings and picked a location ... then asked his friends to find him a bride, which they did and so he got married. David and Elizabeth Weinlick are still together, have four children and looked fairly happy (though I don't know whether that was cuz they are happy or cuz they were on Oprah).
 
David Weinlick (and yes, that surname makes me smirk a bit) has real balls... and by that I mean that he has real belly... and if you still don't know what I mean - David Weinlick is pretty darn brave...
 
I don't think I can do that... I'd like to say that I have faith and full trust in the workings of the Universe. I'd like to say that yes, I can put it out there that I want a husband and that I'll get one. I'm not quite there yet. In fact... the thought of marriage scares me a bit. I don't personally know that many happily-married-people. I'm also not sure that I could live happily-ever-after with one person... I'm just not sure of the whole marriage thing... I can see myself in a relationship... and I know that if I ever decide to have children that I'd want a male person there for them... but marriage. Wow. Idk.
 
Last month one of my best girlfriends got married... she's always known that she wanted to be married... most of my girl friends know with all their heart that they want to be married. I don't. What is 'marriage' anyway? I'm happy for my friends when they get married simply because I know that's what they want.. and weddings are pretty...
 
Incidentally, last week Friday during breakfast my mom looked at my dad* and said "I think we should find a boy for Renee to get married to"... both my dad and I were like: O_o WHAT??? because this isn't something that my family pushes for... it's accepted that my brother and I will do whatever we want to do in our own timing. There's been no push for marriage, or grandbabies, or .. well that's it really. It turns out my mom wants something to look forward to (wedding planning for a wedding)... which is a different thing entirely from wanting me to get married right?
 
In any case... who would I get married to? Perhaps it's that I'm not looking but at the same time I'm not exactly seeing/meeting/finding any males that want to get married... and I think if I married a woman my mom would freak out just a little bit (and then accept my wife? into the fold)... of course I'm not sure if I can marry a woman in T&T... I like men more anyway.
 
Marriage. Just the thought of it is scary...
 
peace,
Ren

* Yes, I live at home with my parents.. as do most persons my age..


3 comments:

kesterj said...

for most of the time, from times way back, there "were" arranged marriages and they worked, y you ask? Once you have two good human-beans, that all marriage means is two ppl devoting themselves to each other until they die. And it worked. Most ppl today don't get that, for what every reason they think of. I tell most of my friends, if you don't get that concept, then don't get married. You can love "out of love" but if you promise, "TO LOVE" and that is very important, you can't not "fall out of love".
Life does have it up and down, it is how u manage the downs that makes you a winner...

guaicotamana said...

How can I be a co-survivor if my mother's dead?

Ren said...

@Guaico - cuz you were there while she was alive? and you'll be there for other family members that face it?