Monday, September 5, 2011

Judgemental - I'm working on not being this way.. :s

"Everthing that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves." ~ Carl Jung

I got my driver's permit renewed today - what should be a relatively simple process took approximately five hours... because, at present, that's how these things work in Trinidad and Tobago. Most of that time I spent waiting and the upside of that is that I've finally gotten around to reading some more chapters from the book 'If Life is a Game, These are the Rules'. This is a fairly small book (153 pages) - I'm usually able to read something this size in less than a few hours - this one requires much thought though and I've given myself permission to read as slowly and however often (or not often) that I need to read and re-read certain bits.

Rule Seven is "Others are only mirrors of you". Essentially it is about how one's reactions to other people says more about oneself. The challenge of this rule is to shift one's perspective from judgement of persons outside of oneself to exploration of one's own inner self.

I've been hearing echoes of this rule around me the past two weeks. From my brother to a family friend to my own realisations from my reactions to Twitter talks... I've learnt that I am fairly judgemental.. and the kicker is that what I'm reacting to is other people being judgemental, non-understanding and inactive :s For example, I sorta-kinda belong to a youth group (though I'm not sure I can still be called 'youth') .. this group has been in existence for *forever* but it seems to go just about nowhere... I attended the last meeting - I put forward ideas which were somewhat well-received though at the end I left feeling as though no one else really wanted to liven things up or try new things ... I got home most grumpy and somewhat down and was told by my brother/mother/family friend that I should not focus on what the others do or do not... that I should focus on what I want to do and just do it - that I should not wonder what's up with other people but rather why I'm upset by it and work it out within myself. Meh. 

Another example? My country is currently in a state-of-emergency... this is a big deal and is supposed to handle our growing crime issue. I've not commented much on it on Twitter or facebook or even here on my blog simply because I don't want to get into drama - and there's a lot of it... I don't understand why people would gab about the government and what they're doing in a very negative vein when these are the same people that wanted change. Change takes time - I don't understand why people don't understand that. I'm told that it's not for me to understand.. but it is for me to not judge people. Oy. 

It's a difficult lesson and according to the book I must learn tolerance, clarity, healing and support. Major work in progress...



guaicotamana said...

Five hours! wow...

The best is to go St James when it is pouring cats and dogs.. record time ever was 30 minutes.

So you have the 'new' one, at least it is now valid five years rather than three.

Ren said...

Five hours :s I was told that I should have gone to either St James or Princes Town but factoring in travelling time & unpredictable traffic I figured I'd just go to Chaguanas :s

But yes.. 5 years! and it's the 'new' one :D