Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wrong side of the bed.

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." ~Benjamin Disraeli

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Nevermind the fact that there's just one side to wake up on. As an aside.. did you know that for good feng shui one's bed should have a good supporting wall behind the bed and that one should be able to approach the bed from both sides? I've been reading up on it.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I woke up in a somewhat grumpy mood... or maybe it's that I woke up earlier than expected and just lay there annoyed that I should have been sleeping. Or that it's that time of month when it feels as though my insides are being carved out with rusty pickaxes. Or that I couldn't figure out what I wanted for lunch and ended up bringing a sandwich which means that I'll have to probably get something else for lunch. Or that sometimes it feels as though I have to organise a lot of stuff in my house... not physical stuff.. just stuff.. there are times (like today) when there's a snarky voice in my head saying 'what am I? An errand runner?'

And then I feel guilty... and also I snarked at  my mom a bit (not that much [I think] cuz I know when I'm in a bad mood and try to minimize interaction)... so there was more guilt. Really, sometimes I just need to be left alone.

Then I couldn't find a radio station to settle on and the car driving in front of me was driving at 20 km/hr and there was no way to pass him. So.

I forced myself to listen to the Guru Gita... or as much of it as I could on the way to work... because my workplace can cause a bad mood all by itself - bringing one to work could result in drama of proportions I don't want/need.

Taking some time to soak in some soothing music... and read articles totally unrelated to work and instead related to creativity, names for breasts, dancing and love

Hope you have a good day...

peace,
Ren

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