Saturday, November 26, 2011

Circle of Life

"Everything is affected by and is part of everything else, changing constantly from one state to another. The rain becomes the river; the river surrenders to the sea and the cycle begins over again. Nothing is ever lost. The melody changes – the dance goes on." ~Connie Harrison 

Two statements I made to my mom today: 
  1. "If I don't have children... who will do my funeral rites?!" 
  2. "So... one day, 30 years from now, I will turn to people I'm with and say: 'I looking just like mih mother!'"
It's been an exhausting day... in the emotional sense and not the physical sense. Yesterday, my mom learnt that a friend of hers had passed away. This friend was in the hospital as she'd had a heart-attack the weekend before and I think cancer of some kind before that. Still, it was somewhat unexpected. The woman was my mom's age. They went to secondary school together, went to university together, started working together and today I went with my mom to her funeral. Death is not something I am unfamiliar with... we've known a lot of people that have passed on... it just shakes me up a bit knowing that persons that are as old as my parents are passing away. 

It was a good funeral. My family is not one that appreciates hysterics... or wild outpourings of grief. This funeral was done according to Hindu rites... it was very calm, very prayerful... the Pundit spoke well (not all persons officiating at funerals do). He spoke of how the soul appreciates respect shown to the body for its service in this lifetime and how it is presently a good period to die (a good time of month I think... or a good month :s). My mom met a lot of persons that she knew -  ALL of whom stated that they should meet up more often and not just see each other at funerals. 

*sigh*

Came home and had lively discussions with my family. I'd like to die in October please. I have no clue really whether that's a good month or not though perhaps in some religion or other it is. I just think it would be a good time. I'm not sure if when one's soul leaves one's body it hangs around to note whether respect is being shown. I had a moment where I asked the first question above but then - I've got cousins (lots of them) and I'm sure they'll have children. I'd like to plan my own funeral. My mom would like to plan hers as well. My dad says it matters not to him. My brother says he'll do our last rites. Let's all assume that he's outliving the rest of us. Both my mom and I are concerned about what we'd be dressed in - my brother said that we were nuts. Ah well. 

It's just being prepared really.    

The four of us went out to dinner tonight in celebration of my parents' wedding anniversary and the fact that I now have an MBA. Maybe one day I'll write about why it's very awkward thinking about/celebrating my parents' anniversary but that day is not today. It just is very awkward and it was made more so (for me anyway) by our waitress telling my parents to drop us by our grandparents and have themselves a good night. Ick. Just... ick. And also, both sets of grandparents are no longer alive. The food was excellent though. The music was as well. The only downside, apart from the awkwardness that maybe I alone feel, was that my mom was in pain and such... long day = aches and pains everywhere. Sadness because I know she wants to be out and celebrating and that she feels guilty when we're all concerned about her. C'est la vie. At one point she saw herself in the mirror and commented on how much she looks like her mom... yes, this prompted my second statement above. I think she thinks of her mom often and misses her. I think that I will think of her often and miss her equally when she's gone. We do strongly resemble each other. 

It's been a long day and I'm a bit sad, a bit grumpy, a bit grateful, a bit happy. 


Happy weekend to you.

peace,
Ren

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