Saturday, December 24, 2011

'twas the night before Christmas...

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." ~Og Mandino

Christmas Eve and I've finally made it to the blog. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about or that I've not had the time in which to write - it's just that I'm finding it hard to be on my computer often. Ah well. Here I am now...

It's been a busy month - crazy in the so-much-to-do type of way. Most of my country celebrates Christmas... there are those that don't but the majority does. It's a lot of organizing and paying-of-bills and shopping to get the perfect presents. It's the end-of-the-year final rush to get work projects wrapped up as best as they can be. It's luncheons and dinners and parties and limes. It's traffic and crazy drivers. Winter solstice though there is no winter here. December. Christmas. 

I found the perfect presents for my family ahead of time this year (go me!) and they've already been opened and exclaimed over. We do the gift-exchanging on Christmas Eve because we're up early to go to the Blue Star at 5 am on Christmas morning. Gifts for everyone else? Christmas cards... I love you all :) My family is huge (aunts, uncles, cousins) and I've got friends (work friends, school friends, girl friends) - if I were to shop for everyone I'd be severely lacking cash for most of next year. So, Christmas cards. 

I've already given out those to my work friends - school/girl friends will receive at some point (hopefully this year). Work has been crazy. People have been going off on vacation. I've had five vacation days which I split up so that I ended up with three long weekends for December - somewhat relaxing and I was fairly smug about it. Projects have been shifted and paused. I've been thinking more and more of what I'd like to be doing instead of what I'm doing now. No real answers yet apart from that it's not what I'm doing now. My workplace is crazy.

My work friends are awesome though. I've been using the word 'awesome' a lot. It's been absorbed into my vocabulary. My work friends are awesome - been spending more time than I've ever done with the members of my department - there's been a lot of shared moments and conversations. It's been interesting this year. 

What's also been interesting? Photo walks... I love taking photos. I don't have the patience or the interest in processing them but I do love taking them. Went to the last walk of the year to the Wild Fowl Trust on the 17th December. Met new people (some of whom know of the blog!), got to hold a macajuel, took lots of photos:

Nature is fabulously beautiful. 

Am giving thanks for what I have and reflecting on what I want... it's just that time of year. Solstice is a part of it but only a small part. 

How are you celebrating your holidays? What moves you? Who do  you spend it with? Who do you want to spend it with? 

I've been thinking that there are so many choices a person can make. I'm content with mine at the moment. Feeling a bit stagnant - knowing there needs to be a shaking-up of sorts soon. I'm concentrating on being happy in the here-and-now. 

Merry Christmas to you... or Season's greetings... or if you don't celebrate anything - all my love.

peace,
Ren 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Can you change who you are?

"You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet." ~Hal Borland 

It's December. Where did the year go? I'm busy with multiple projects in work (just call me Super Woman) and with Christmas (shopping, friends, family!). I love this time of year though - December is my second favourite month of the year. It just seems that everyone is more happy. Or it could be that I'm more happy around December what with all the music and the food and the shopping and the liming. December is awesome. 

What's not-so-awesome? Family squabbles. I guess they happen in every family/household when things need doing and aren't getting done (or aren't being done properly). People respond differently to emotional drama. Emotions can hijack us and leave us a weepy mess... or they can cause us to withdraw into our very best impression of a stone statue. Emotions are tricky things and we all deal with them differently. This is something I must remember. It's not just my way or the highway. 

Can you change who you are?

There are things about ourselves that we can change. On Friday I went rock wall climbing. It was scary (I'm afraid of heights - there's a reason I'm short and that is because I'm supposed to be close to the ground)... and yet it was also exhilarating. Scary because well... whoa - I was up very high. Exhilarating because my fear is not the boss of me, I am the boss of my fear. This is something I've been telling myself often - it seems to be working because a few years back there was no way anyone was going to get me up that wall. 

There are things about ourselves that we cannot change. We cannot change how something may affect us - there will always be situations that will tug at our heartstrings or punch us in the gut or overwhelm us with some emotion or other. What we can change is how we react, how we respond and I think part of that is realising how others may react/respond.

My parents (in my mind at least) have always been opposites - heart-oriented vs head-oriented... the emotional vs the logical. As I've gotten older I've seen them become more balanced but still stay true to their .. orientation. It's something I can't change in them and something I'm working on in myself. Finding the balance. I don't want to be more of one than the other but there lies the question... can I change who I am? If one is inherently more of one than the other ... will it always be so?

I'm thoughtful tonight... If you have thoughts or ideas feel free to share...

peace,
Ren