Monday, December 31, 2012

The last day - MMXII

It's a weird day where I feel claustrophobic but don't want to move out of my space... or see people... or get dressed... or whatever. It's actually been a weird month in that respect. Almost back out to work for me... end of the year is also equal to end of vacation. End of vacation is equal to end of lazing around time with family and with the cute guy though I find that I haven't really done much of either... perhaps they find so as well. 

It's been an interesting year... ups and downs - the highest up being the cute guy, the lowest down being the health of my mom. The in-between mix of friendship and career and life purpose. In 2013 I shall be 30... I'm not sure I've accomplished what I want to accomplish by the time I'm 30 but then I've never really known what I want to accomplish. Perhaps I need to figure out that vision instead of waiting for things to fall into place - things will happen as they may, events will unfold as they will... I think I may have inklings of the direction I'd like them to follow. 

What do you wish for in 2013? What do you let go of from 2012? What do you want to remain? What have you learnt? 

It's a period of questioning for me. 

Some things that I've looked at recently that have made me thoughtful, made me laugh and filled me with...wonder:
Enjoy the rest of 2012! All the best for 2013!

peace,
Ren 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Vacation.... Days 3 & 4...

Work, work, work... 

Oh wait... I'm on vacation. 

*sigh* It seems as though I took vacation to stay at home, clean house and take care of people. Of course it only seems that way. I'm just grumpy cuz my back aches and I'm feeling creaky. 

In reality I took vacation to spend time with the mother... the family... the cute guy... and that's what I've been doing. 

It is both harder and at the same time easier than expected.

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Vacation...Day 2.

Vacation Day 2... I think I'll be doing free writing for the rest of this vacation. Five minutes of writing each day. It's something I can do.

Sometimes though it's just easier to do things without planning... that's what today has taught me. Things don't always go according to plan, perhaps sometimes it's just better not to have a plan. It's unfortunate that I like planning (lack of career planning aside) what I want to do. Day by day I think it's best to know what one is going to do for the day. 

That hasn't really been working out for me though. I really need to just let go and go with the flow. What will be, will be.

The mother isn't feeling so fabulous... so, instead of a day of pampering, today turned into a day of cleaning. I guess it's a different kind of pampering? We do not have pretty nails but my mom now has a squeaky clean bedside table and dresser. 

I've learnt that whatever hoarding vibes I have came from my mother. Weird reversal of roles today. I have memories of her cleaning my room and me complaining about her throwing out stuff... today I was cleaning her room and she was complaining about me throwing out stuff :s Ergh?

Tonight the cute guy and I are invited to a Christmas... thing? Shoeaholic's mom's workplace is having an event and invited us. Then we're going to a tweetup at a sushi place. Yay. 

Plans... some change, some stay the same (hopefully). 

peace,
Ren

Monday, December 10, 2012

Vacation... Day 1.

Stream of consciousness writing for five minutes. That's what I'm doing at this moment and in this post. I'm on vacation! This doesn't mean that I have left home... that I'm travelling far and wide - though I'd like that. It just means that I had ten vacation days left for the year and when combined with casual and compensatory days the result is that I do not go back out to work till January 2nd.

January 2nd!

Three weeks of no work! I want to figure out what I want to do work-wise. At some point I'd like to be able to figure that out. I have no plan. No major career goal. There is nothing that I can particularly see myself doing. 

Is this how it is for everyone?

I've been snappish with the family. I'm out of sorts. The parents are getting older daily it seems. Suddenly, I look at them and they are old. I look in the mirror and I look the same but then older. Age is a funny thing. I think I read somewhere that it is only humans that measure time and thus only humans that live with the dread of the end. The End. 

The cute guy is adorably cute. Behind all cute that I have imagined guys can be. There are no words yet to describe what I think of all of this. Am content to just be in this space with him. 

I can write a lot in five minutes. 

It's Christmas time... mistletoe and wine... I've always wondered what it would be like if there were mistletoe in my country. If it were one of our customs. I do not like wine.... except for when it is used in cooking. 

Vacation Day 2 tomorrow.

Hope all is well with you world.... if it isn't or even if it is... all my love to you.

peace,

Ren

Thursday, November 1, 2012

November.

"It is better to travel well than to arrive." ~Buddha

November already and I posted not one post for October. I have drafts that I started and then decided against. Bits of thoughts and phrases floating in my head that maybe could be shared... it just didn't seem like the time for it. Then the end of October came and I thought about posting on the 29th - Taurus Full Moon whilst the Sun is in Scorpio - it's an interesting time for me. Then the day passed and I thought about posting on the 30th - between the Full Moon and Samhain - a transition of sorts. Then that day passed and I thought about posting on the 31st - but I got caught up at work and I went out with the cute guy and we talked plot lines and food and had an overall fabulous time... and now it's November.

October was interesting... I went to the Dragon Boat Regatta this year. It's something I've wanted to go to in previous years but  just haven't managed it. Pretty impressive and I'm somewhat jealous of the arm muscles of those that actually take part. I saw a lot of photo ppl... since I've been photo-walking and hanging out with photo ppl it seems that everywhere I go there's someone I know taking photos. 

I went on a photo walk :) to Tobago - as part of the World Wide Photo Walk that happens every year. Weekend in Tobago with fun people, photos and good food. Very awesome :)  

I went to Ramleela festivities in Palmiste, saw both Hotel Transylvania and Frankenweenie and signed up for NaNoWriMo (it's started... I have *no idea* what to write!). I got sick (I'm still sick... it feels as though I've been sick all year), I got mad about the Budget, I worked (worked, worked... work has been crazy) and I prayed for Hurricane Sandy to not do too much damage.

October has been interesting... and now we're on to November.

Hope you're all okay...

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I am sleepy.

"You need a room with no view so imagination can meet memory in the dark." ~Annie Dillard

It's Wednesday and a lazy day at work (for me anyway). I feel somewhat as though I've been moving through the days like mist... separate but a part of the whole. Work has been crazy. Family is normal. Pets have had medical drama. Cute guy is ...growing cuter by the day.

I think September is going well. There's a wedding this weekend and a sports day. Busy, busy, busy and the mother says I should keep some days free. Hmm.

Inspiration and fabulousity for you and me:
peace,
Ren

Monday, September 10, 2012

Conversations with the Cat and etc...

"In the dim background of our mind, we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start." ~William James

I have a theory - our Cat is so vocal because we talk to him as though he's a person. He's perfectly capable of carrying out conversations - am sure at times he must be frustrated that we don't understand what he's saying but sometimes... sometimes we do. A conversation with Cat can go something like this:
Cat (as I exit the bathroom to find him curled up just outside the door):  Meow?
Me: Cat chile, why are you in front of the door?
Cat (as he gets up and starts walking towards the kitchen): Meow meow. 
Me: I already fed you! I've got to get ready to go to work!
Cat (in a disgruntled tone as he rubs up on my leg): Meow?
Me (as I try to maneuver past him to get to my room): I have to go to work to make money.
Cat (as he sits directly in front my room door): Meow?
Me: Because I need money to buy cat food!
Cat (in a somewhat pleased tone of voice): Mrrrr ... purrr. 
Of course he approves of me making money to buy cat food. 

Recently, a few people have told me that I've been very quiet. Fear not world... it's not that I stopped blogging but that I just stopped interacting. I'm not sure why... I've been... thinking? Contemplating? Stewing? Just being. 

I feel somewhat grumpy with the world and the family and life. I also feel somewhat happy with the world and the family and life. 

It's a weird space I'm in. 

No apologies. I think I've needed to drift... nothing negative, something positive. 

There's been a lot going on. 

Hope that all is well in your world. If you need a moment to yourself - take it. Even if it is just the one moment... stop, breathe, feel.  

peace,
Ren

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thursday's tale...

"The Universe is made up of stories, not atoms." ~Muriel Rukeyser

Woke up this morning and did not want to go to work. It was cold and rainy... and it's not fun being the only one that has to get up and leave home to go to work. I did though - not just because I don't really have any more days off that I can call in sick - but because, despite the fact that I don't really like it, it's my job. There are things that need to be done and I have to do some of them. 

I don't understand how people can get contracted/hired to do a job and then do it halfway (or less than that even). Is there no pride? No sense of accomplishment? No shared sense of responsibility?

I don't understand it at all. 

I don't like hearing people say that there are no jobs available in our country when I know that there are. I have heard directly from persons that people they hire don't want to do what they're hired to do... or find the jobs too tedious... or below them... or feel entitled to more than what they're working for. 

A puzzle is made up of many pieces. Tradespeople are just as important as academics. If everyone wants to hold a certain position then how will we maintain where we are? How will we build? How will we grow?

I've found myself seriously contemplating learning a trade or two. I can lay tiles. My dad's got electrical skills. An understanding of plumbing can only come in handy in the future. 

I wonder how many people are thinking of the future. 

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Wordy Wednesday...

"The power of the word is real whether or not you are conscious of it ." ~Sonia Choquette

I am tired. This may not be very wordy but the following are all words that came to mind today with regards to my workplace. 



It doesn't look good. 

I am tired. 

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Thoughts on a Tuesday...

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive - the risk to be alive and express what we really are." ~ Miguel Ángel Ruiz

Thoughts about family and life and myself... 

I think we're different from a lot of families out there - but then each individual is unique so I guess it would hold that each family unit is unique. 

I've had very few times in which I was annoyed/mad/pissed off with my sibling - earlier today I experienced such a time. We disagree on how best to handle the mother ... the parents really. I don't think if he were in her position that he'd appreciate someone yelling at him. 

I don't see that yelling is particularly necessary to getting one's point across... though I do understand and have had my own moments where one feels that the only way to get someone to listen is to speak louder. The male parent has never really quarreled, at least in his eyes, because he never raises his voice. A quarrel can take many different forms.

I'm not sure that the male parent knows what he's doing with his life... this startles me somewhat... I've always thought that he knows exactly what is happening and why and when stuff must be done. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for both parents and I think that perhaps I don't try hard enough (and perhaps everyone doesn't try hard enough) to spend time understanding parents. 

Sometimes I feel as though I'm the parent.

I think women don't get enough credit for all the things that we do. I think that some of the things we do would not even occur to men as stuff that needs to be done. 

Blood is very red. Sometimes, each month, I wonder if there will come a day when I won't stop bleeding. Blood does not make me squeamish ... I don't see how any girl can be really...

Blood is thicker than... ?

peace,
Ren

Monday, August 20, 2012

Monday musings...

"To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I plan to write every day this week... Monday to Friday... we'll see how successful I'll be. I've been thinking more and more about writing and thoughts that I'd like to share and thoughts that I'd like to see in print. There's a difference (for me anyway) between words that are online and words that one can read in a book or paper. Though I spend a lot of time online reading and writing, I really prefer hard copy - give me a book over an e-reader any day. 

I'm not sure what I want to write in this post. Random stuff maybe. It's always just a bit difficult to get back in the flow of things. Perhaps, just thoughts that I'll expand on over the course of this week?

I'm going to use bullet points. I may have a love of list-making that a lot of people don't know about...
  • Stuff about my country - there's a lot to talk about really... Olympic wins and disaster areas and skill sets and poor work ethic. Hmm. 
  • Stuff outside of my country - such as... I think if I lived in the U.S.A. I'd be a democrat (I'm actually wondering if I should even state that here... ergh?). Pussy Riot. Three cups of tea. 
  • Stuff about me - the usual? Family, cute guy, pets, work. 
  • Dessert - I'm writing this in between bites of chocolate cake and strawberries... I've had the good fortune to have had some rather spectacular desserts yesterday - I feel the need to gush about them. 
  • Random randoms - who knows what may cross my mind that in the moment I may feel the need to document? 
It's my bedtime now - I feel somewhat accomplished - yay me for getting back into the blogging groove!

Night all.

peace,
Ren

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Monday, August 6, 2012

Inspiration...

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott

August already and that means that seven months have already gone by. 

Whoa. 

I'm not writing as much as I thought I would.

I'm thinking of writing a book. 

I'm thinking of travelling (near and far). 

I'm procrastinating in the name of taking things moment by moment.

*sigh*

Some inspiration/good reads/meditations for the week/month/rest of year:
peace,
Ren


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Maybe I don't look like a traveller anymore?

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them." ~Mark Twain 

There was once a time when if I had to go anywhere I'd either have to ask someone to carry me or, and this was the most common option, I'd travel. It's because of that time that I know how to get to various places in Trinidad using our public transportation system, and that I am somewhat known to the taxi drivers in my area. There are taxi drivers that have known me for over 15 years as I travelled with them to and from school and various other places. 


Today I had the opportunity to travel from my flyover to home (my car has been down... car drama... oy)... it's not very far and I was hoping that I'd get a taxi that I was familiar with... just because. I didn't though... got a taxi driven by an old man who looked as though he shouldn't be driving anymore. What I thought kinda funny? Driver and other passengers gave me a look... a 'why is this person travelling?' look... or maybe a 'how come this person is travelling?' look. I'm not sure which... It was as though they weren't sure how I'd come to be there and if I knew where I was going. 


It was very strange. 


Perhaps having a car has changed me in some way? Perhaps to the casual observer it seems as though I shouldn't be travelling? Perhaps I seemed to be too calm, cool and collected?


Ah well.


I think that each person should at some point try out their country's public transportation system. Figure out how to get from point A to point B and then just do it. I've found the experience to be entertaining and educational. There are times I've found it to be frustrating and tiring. As is the case for most things, I think that you can't really appreciate what others go through, the waiting, the hustling, the environment (people and places)... unless you experience it yourself. 


Maybe I don't look like a traveller anymore... perhaps I need to be out and going places without my car (or without being driven around by the cute guy or the cousins). 


Get out and go somewhere... walk, bike, taxi, maxi, bus, something...


:)


peace,
Ren

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thoughts about (having) children...

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future." ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

My coworker gave birth on Monday to a girl - 8 lbs some ounces. A healthy baby girl with long fingers (maybe she'll grow up to be a piano player?)... 

I've been thinking about writing a post on children for the past two weeks... it's just that I haven't quite figured out what I want to say.

My cousin visited with his not-quite-2-year-old son... A very active little boy who kept testing us - could he go here? Climb up there? Touch this? Lots of fun and very cute and he seemed to like me. Young children seem to like me. I've been told it's because I'm closer to their size... :-/

A little girl waved to me as I was leaving a food court last week. I'd met up with the cute guy, as I was without lunch and he was in the area, and there was a family of four sitting at the table next to ours. Little girl liked us... he says they are fascinated by him (maybe because of his size?)... but she waved to me when we were leaving.

I kinda blame him for these thoughts I'm having. The whole wondering about maybe I'd like to have a child... someday. When I was much younger I said I'd never have any (my mother was horrified... and said I shouldn't say that out loud... and I shouldn't call stuff on myself in the event that I did eventually want). As I've gotten older I've become more open to the idea... but I haven't really found anyone that I thought I'd like to have children with. Also, I'm not sure I'm in a financial position to be having children. Then there's the fact that little children scare me a bit... cuz they're so *small* and completely dependent on others... I can barely manage with the Cat!

There've been times though when I look at the cute guy and the thought occurs to me that it might be very awesome to have a child. Ergh. Is this biological? Is the whole ticking-clock thing real?

Ergh. It's way too soon in this relationship to be thinking such things.

*sigh*

There are things I'd like to share with/teach/show a child though... and I think it would be a wondrous thing to be able to see a person develop from birth to whenever and to know that I have a hand in their development. I think I've learnt a lot from my parents but I've also had a lot of outside learning as well... I value their discussions and time spent with them shapes who I am. I think I'd like to have that same impact.

There's also the practical bit... my dad has said (in a manner which I can't tell is joking or not) that the reason he has had children is so he'll be taken care of in his old age. I've been annoyed by that statement before but now that I am getting older and I've had to do some of that taking care (though more with mom than with dad) I have found myself wondering - who will be around to take care of me when I'm older?  

Do other people go through all this thinking? Ergh.

Children. I think I'd be happy to have them (I seem to be thinking in the plural... ergh?!).

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Interesting Reads: The Electric Typewriter's 150 Essential Articles and Essays

"Acquire knowledge. It enables its possessor to distinguish right from wrong; it lights the way to Heaven; it is our friend in the desert, our society in solitude, our companion when friendless; it guides us to happiness; it sustains us in misery; it is an ornament among our friends and an armor against enemies." ~Muhammad

When I saw this link floating around my timeline I had to check it out. I haven't read all of the articles and essays as yet but I'm slowly working my way through them.

Hope you enjoy...

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Responsibility...

"I want to remind us all that the world is listening, all the time. How we are ripples out from us into the world and affects others. We have a responsibility – an ability to respond – to the world. Finding our particular way of living this responsibility, of offering who we are to the world, is why we are here. We are called because the world needs us to embody the meaning in our lives. God needs us awake. The world we live in is a co-creation, a manifestation of individual consciousness woven into a collective dream. How we are with each other as individuals, as groups, as nations and tribes, is what shapes that dream." ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

There's a lot of talk happening on my Twitter stream about the recent turtle deaths. It is heartbreaking and I'm wondering just what will come out of all the talking.

This article best reflects my thoughts... who bears responsibility for what has happened? People are talking about the Government and how this could be allowed to happen and what is to be done about it... this situation did not just spring up in a week. Who allowed the hotelier to build so close to the nesting site? Who is supposed to monitor our waterways? A river does not shift course suddenly. Yes, bulldozers moved in and devastated a nesting site. Who sent them in? Who were the drivers? As I told my mom - if I were driving a bulldozer that unearthed so many eggs/hatchlings I'd have stopped to consider the consequences.

I think we all need to look at ourselves, at how we think and at how we respond to circumstances. If we are placed in positions where we can effect major change, as in the case of persons in Government, then we should realise that such positions carry with it a responsibility and a trust from the persons that have bestowed that power. If, in the course of our daily lives, we see opportunities for us to further develop ourselves... it is our responsibility to consider how such development would affect the environment around us.

My thoughts of course... feel free to disagree. I'm just wondering how deeply people are thinking about such things at this time.

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

My life, as it were...

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong because someday in your life you will have been all of these." ~George Washington Carver

I think my life is interesting... or perhaps it is that life is interesting and people don't take the time to appreciate it? There's always something happening... something to learn or see or do. Every moment brings a lesson if we're in tune enough to realise it... I know I'm not always tuned in... I don't always pay attention. Ah well.

I've been thinking about my parents and about growing older. My mom's birthday was last Sunday. I think she's been through a lot in her life... I am older now than she was when she got married and also when she had me. I'm wondering what lies ahead. New experiences and new relationships... Hmm. I think that people my age don't have enough awareness about what their parents have been and continue to go through. I may be wrong. I've spent this past week thinking about the fact that my parents were my age once... I've been hearing stories about what life once was and about stuff that they have done. I've been thinking about how they are now... and realising that there are things I'd like to have in place for them and for myself as we get older.

I've been thinking a lot. I'm much more of a 'thinker' than a 'doer'.

I've been grumpy with my country... or rather the people in my country that are supposed to be doing stuff/organising stuff/making the country [world] a better place. Should I really feel this way given that I don't know how I'd change any of it? Hmm.

I went to Mango Festival 2012 - it's the 4th one that's been held apparently. It was interesting, filled with mangoes and mango products. I could see that some persons were very earnest about getting information out about growing mangoes and sustainability and the benefits that may be obtained by investing in our agri sector. Overall a very good event to have. I wasn't quite satisfied with the execution of the event... Could have been more polished... could have taken much more advantage of the opportunities present. Did come away with photos of mangoes though...


I'd written much more to this post but ... I posted and it didn't show the rest... I guess it should be ended here.


peace,
Ren

Friday, June 29, 2012

In one word: moody

"There is nothing of which we are more ashamed than of not being ourselves. And there is nothing which brings us greater joy and happiness than to think, feel, and say what is ours." ~Erich Fromm

This isn't exactly a negative I think. I'm just having a variety of experiences and my moods are a reflection of them. 

The mother is home. Since I last wrote (a mere week ago) she's had five sessions of radiation. She stayed at the St. James Medical Complex simply because she was in a lot of pain -  was just easier as there was less moving around for her and people to take care of her that knew what they were doing. 

My family is managing but I don't always think we know what we're doing. Sometimes, you just have to wing it. 

I've been sad and tired and trying to be hopeful and such. I got mad because of the extended family - the aunts and uncles who are the siblings of my mother. I know they're concerned... I'm just annoyed that now is when they choose to show it. One does not need extra drama when one already has to deal with stuff at home. I'm also somewhat mad that they appear to be fairly clueless... mom has had cancer since I was 13 - I'm almost 30 (and maybe I can do my own mini-movie of 13 going on 30?)... this is not the worst it has been - why freak out about it now and wonder if we need help now? *grump* There's also a part of me that thinks I'm overreacting about that but... oh well.

I've been grateful... for the brother and the girl ppl and the cute guy. I only realise my age when I look at my brother and see how grown up/mature he is. An adult... my baby brother is an adult... and sometimes (sometimes - not all the time) and in some ways better at being an adult than I am. Whoa.

The girl ppl are awesome... I've been mostly in touch with them via text and email recently (I'm not much for phone-talking). Our emails are full of ole-talk and discussion and snippets of advice and somewhat bawdy jokes. They keep me sane... I think it's somewhat important for persons to have a support system of ppl that know just about all that's important to know (and some that's not important) about each other. 

The cute guy... oy. Cute - in personality and in looks. He's very fun to be around. He's very interesting. He seems to find me interesting. He has me thinking of all sorts of things that I've never really thought of or thought I'd want to think about. Oy.

Moody - that's what I am... in a sad/happy/grumpy/excited/mellow way...

I'm happy that it's Friday.

Happy Weekend to you.

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Solstice...

"Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope, - a slight change, and all patterns alter." ~ Sharon Salzberg

Solstice today and I'm so very tired. Change is in the air. Cycles starting over... coming around again.

I'm grumpy and achy and have I mentioned tired? 

The mother is not doing that well... Sudden decline and we're now helping out much more than I ever thought we'd have to and I'm reading sites such as caring.com and agingcare.com. I'm thinking if I ever have my own space I'll outfit it such that when I'm older there won't be any drama if I need wheelchairs/lifts/easy access showers/whatever. I've realised that although the mother has gotten fairly scrawny (she's lost a *lot* of weight) she's still heavy for me...  my back aches like wow. I need to do some strength training. Lifting with the knees and whatever is not helping me in this case. 

The father is concerned and probably feeling his own mortality. He also seems to not realise that I'm doing as much in a day as he is... and with less sleep. I have been snappish with him tonight... some guilt cuz yes is my dad but... I'm tired. That should be capitalised. TIRED. I can't bring myself to feel overly bad about being snappish cuz in my opinion I was provoked. Meh. 

The brother is a rock... without him around I'd be much more snappish and also much more tired. We deal as well as we could. 

The workplace is ... Well, it just is. I'm gearing up for another round of quarrels because really? Enough. I'm tired... and dealing with somewhat incompetent people is not helping my energy level at all. 

The cute guy is... so much cuter. Oy. Bright spot. He makes me smile. Cute. Seriously cute. Oy. Too cute to be in such a grumpy post. 

I know I should talk to the girl ppl... or just talk to people. But. Meh. 

I want chocolate and hugs (especially from the cute guy but really all hugs are welcome) and a vacation... I'm gonna settle for a good cry and a hot water bottle and hopefully some hours of sleep. 

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Stuck?

"You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it." ~Lucinda Basset

I am stuck... and there, I have said it. Career-wise I have no clue. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know why I want to do it. Perhaps I need a counsellor? A career coach? Ergh.

I need to be doing something that will allow me to have the same (or higher) salary as I do now (I've got bills to pay... *sigh*). Something that is helpful but fun. Something that lets me not sit by a desk all day.

I don't really know what that something is.

Dammit.

Apart from that though... I'm doing alright. Went to the second Trinidad and Tobago World Peace Festival last Saturday. No photos this time around cuz I felt somewhat claustrophobic... too many people... I'm glad that people are interested and were taking part but... I do not like crowds. Went on a Treasure Queen Cruise with the cute guy... I believe it was done to raise funds for Paddle for the Planet. There is so much going on in T&T that it annoys me somewhat when people say there's nothing to do.

The mother is looking somewhat frail these days - there isn't much I can do that I'm not doing. I don't actually know what else I should be doing. I feel slightly guilty about that. The father is talking retirement and a house in Mayaro and us (my brother and I) taking on more responsibilities... I'm already paying most of the bills and buying most of the groceries and other miscellaneous whatevers... Ergh... and hello? Exactly how am I supposed to have a life of my own when I'm taking care of things that I'm not quite sure I'm supposed to be taking care of? I'm kinda waiting to see what happens with the brother and his search for... a career... or something that will provide funds.

I feel somewhat grumpy... and moody... and claustrophobic is the best word that comes to mind... as though the walls are closing in and there's no way out of the space I find myself in.

*sigh*

Going out with the cute guy later though... and some of the girl ppl... and some of the photowalkers... sushi date - which is a funny thing when I don't eat seafood.

Must psych self into better mood.

Happy Tuesday all.

peace,
Ren





Friday, June 8, 2012

I don't know what I want to write...

but it includes these things...

Gonna be offline this weekend.

Be blessed all...

peace,
Ren

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Rotation Curation

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." ~Rudyard Kipling 

Had a bit of a ... fangirl (best term I can come up with) moment yesterday because Yvonne of Salisbury tweeted me. Yvonne is the current curator of the People of UK twitter account and she tweeted in response to my good morning world tweet. I don't even know/remember when the People of UK account started following me but... it's fairly exciting to be tweeted from half way across the world by someone I don't-really-know-but-kinda-know because she's been sharing bits of her life via tweets for the past week. 

The People of the UK account is part of the Rotation Curation Movement currently happening on Twitter. This movement is where there's one account but the person tweeting behind it is rotated (usually after a week). It is all much better explained and there's a list of all the the countries/cities/groups that are currently involved on the Rotation Curation website. 

I was one of the early followers - first following @Sweden (founder of the movement... more info on their site: Curators of Sweden) then @WeAreAustralia (site: We Are Australia) and then as many others as have come along. 

It is interesting... insightful as it allows one to experience the different countries/places from the viewpoints of ordinary citizens. It's brilliant for those of us that would want to visit and need to find out more of the various places. It's educational in that each curator has their own experiences of where they are and what they do to tweet about. 

I can only see more persons and places getting involved ... and wouldn't it be something if Trinidad and Tobago or even the Caribbean came together and did something like this? Something to think about for the moment. 

Happy Sunday all.

peace,
Ren

Edited to include:
New York Times article on the Many Voices of Sweden, via Twitter