Tuesday, January 31, 2012

One book.

"A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy". ~Edward P. Morgan

Three parts. Thirty chapters. Three hundred and forty-two pages. 

This is the reason why I didn't get around to writing the blog post that I had planned to write tonight. I got caught up in a book - I tend to not be able to put down a book once it has caught my interest. I bought it this afternoon... started reading after 7 pm... didn't stop... and am now finished with it at 11:30 pm... It's now my bedtime. 

This is the book: 


It was a good read... I'll probably end up buying the series. 

And now I really must go to bed. 

Night all.

peace,
Ren

Monday, January 30, 2012

Sometimes...

"If women ruled the world and we all got massages, there would be no war." ~Carrie Snow 

Sometimes I think that Carrie Snow is on to something. The world would be better if ruled by women... and if we all got massages (I'm currently in desperate need of a good massage *sigh*).

Spent the weekend with some fabulous women... my girl group on Saturday - there was a beach house birthday lime at Manzanilla... total driving time (there and back with stops for people, food, snacks and gas) = a little bit more than 5 hours. Car discussions included: makeup, guys, directions, sleep attire, breasts, food, work, music and relationships. We played on the beach... there was a lot of laughing and running around and wild, crazy beach hair. Sometimes I forget that I need to be around them to balance myself - am always reminded when we spend time together. 


Spent Sunday evening with my mom and her girl group (I think we're both lucky that we have such awesome girl groups!). It was far less giggly and far more introspective. Older, wiser women. Perhaps this is what we'll be like as we get older. 

Sometimes I wonder at the relationships that guys have... do they have the same level of comfort with their friends? Can they share as we do? Talk it out, work it out, hug it out, bitch it out. Do guys do that? And... if they don't... what do they do? How do they manage with all the drama that can be a regular life? 

Sometimes I get very bogged down with the world - today there was a meeting where things were hinted at but not said... I wish people would just grow up ... today someone took offence because I couldn't pull up a smile and bother with conversation (mostly because it was such a grump-inducing day). 

Days like today I'm very grateful for the females I know... and I definitely think that Carrie Snow is right  - there'd be no war if the world was ruled by women... and everyone got massages... and also, I think, if everyone got their favourite dessert...

give thanks for your nearest and dearest...

peace,
Ren



Thursday, January 26, 2012

Rest

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time." ~Sir John Lubbock 

I keep falling asleep today... my thoughts are swirling around. I think I'm in need of a time and space to be by myself a bit. Bits of sounds and images and none of it making that much sense at the moment. Bedtime for me definitely.

Hope you had a good day world... 

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Interesting Vid: Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Thought Bubble: Kindness

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to live, make haste to be kind." ~Henri-Frederic Amiel 

I meant to post this very good video/animation yesterday... but I got carried away talking about peanut butter. Just one more strike against peanut butter is what I'm thinking.

This vid is amazingly good:


peace,
Ren

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Down with peanut butter!

"Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit." ~William James 

Yes, you read that right: down with peanut butter!

I've been following @DPixel on twitter... she's doing a project 365 (though I guess it would end up being 366... hmm) that I've been following for reasons such as:

  • I'd like to do one sometime...
  • It's easy to follow her because she posts on twitter everyday and therefore I see it everyday.
  • She writes little back-stories to accompany her photos... they tend to make me smile.
Maybe you're wondering what that has to do with peanut butter. She started it... though at this time she's unaware that because she's been hunting up random themes for her photos (e.g. National Handwriting Day and Beer Can Appreciation Day) I've become more aware of random days people celebrate... because I like celebrating random days as much as the next person. 

Still not sure what this has to do with peanut butter?

Today in the USA it's National Peanut Butter Day! I saw it trending on twitter... and then a friend mentioned it to me. Ick. Ick, I say. It's a good thing I'm not in the US because I'd have had a hard time celebrating this one. 

Peanut butter is evil. 

Although... it makes for the most delicious drink (peanut punch) but... that's all really. It makes your mouth stick together. It tastes nowhere near as fabulous as cashew butter... or even almond butter. 

Maybe it's not evil. 

But still... ick. 

Down with peanut butter!

peace,
Ren

Monday, January 23, 2012

Year of the Dragon...

"The Chinese New Year beings on January 23rd, 2012, and kicks off the Year of the Water Dragon. Dragon years always encourage growth and change. Now is not the time to think conservatively - it's time to explore new frontiers in love, career and life."~Tarot.com 

Happy new year to you... may you be blessed with prosperity and good fortune. 


peace,
Ren
  

Friday, January 20, 2012

Strictly Stream-of-Consciousness...

"Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change." ~Ingrid Bengis

I'm doing this from my phone so all formatting will get done at another time. Haven't felt like writing but have been trying to post Monday - Friday so... Didn't want to fall off the wagon. Stream of consciousness - what's going on in my head? Not just my head. I'm tired and a bit cranky and a bit hopeful and a bit sad. Bits and pieces of things make up my life at the moment.
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I admire those who do. I have skills and talents - I don't know how to tie them all together into something that will be of benefit to the world and to myself. I know I don't want to continue at my current place of work. Regular blog readers are probably tired of reading that. Wrote an email that upset management - it wouldn't have if they were doing what they were supposed to be doing. Truth hurts. Am not particularly concerned with the fall-out. Am wondering if I should be. Am disappointed by the lack of solidarity but that's on me - one should never have certain expectations about people.
My mom's not having a good day/night... This kinda means I won't either.
My dad's birthday is tomorrow - he's moody (though he won't think so) - it's something we're used to.
My brother beat me up today - this is not as bad as it sounds - the thing about having a sibling is that you've always got a sparring partner ... We're learning Wing Chun.
I think I damaged some delicate bits with my first time use of this DivaCup... Maybe tmi for the Internet but... Ah well.
I'm not sure what else I'd like to write ... Whatever it is... I've still got a minute or two. I wish life was easier to understand ... Wish I'd wake up one day and wonder and know what I should be.
I'm building towers on the ground and castles in the sky.
It's my bedtime.

Peace,
Ren

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Two informative videos...

"Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." ~Malcolm Forbes

These are related to events happening in the world and in my life. I'm not up to writing about them but I probably will at some point... in the meantime? Videos... yay!

The first: a short documentary explaining what is SOPA and PIPA
If you were on the Internet yesterday you may have come across lots of sites/people talking about this... I'd have liked it if one of our local tech persons had talked about it (maybe someone did and I missed it?)... 


The second: Health at Work... 
I'm thinking the management people at my workplace should look at this video. Still having issues. Stayed home today... staying home tomorrow... looking at job vacancies. Really need to figure out what I'd like to be doing. 


Happy Thursday all...

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's a mystery. (Updated!)

"Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand." ~Neil Armstrong 
I could blog about how very vexed I was in work today (so much so that I felt like using some *very* bad words). 
I could blog about the fact that I've been scanning vacancy ads and I'm either over-qualified, under-qualified or don't have enough years experience in the area. 
Instead, I shall blog about a recent mystery... because there's only so much grumpiness I can take in myself and... I really don't want to spread it. 
It is *insert mystery music here* the Mystery of Newbeary Plaza:
I bought a puzzle for my mom for Christmas. This puzzle: 

It's a very beautiful looking puzzle of a white dragon - we (my brother and I) are very into dragons... my mom's into puzzle-making... it was a perfect gift!

Except that when my mom opened the sealed box and then the sealed bag, the puzzle pieces didn't look as though they'd make anything remotely dragon-looking. 

I'm assuming there must have been some mix-up early on? Wrong puzzle pieces for the box? 

Anyway... we could have returned it... but what fun would that be? Are we not puzzle-makers? It's a challenge is what it is - the making of a puzzle without the picture. We're very curious as to what it will be... there are shop signs and sky and trees and flowers... This is what it looked like on Friday:
Mystery Puzzle: Newbeary Plaza?

This is the cover of the box that it came in:

Cover of box that was supposed to contain fabulous dragon puzzle... 
See how the dragon puzzle does not have fences or flowers? 

*sigh*

It's a mystery... I'm looking forward to seeing the finished picture :)

Would you build a puzzle without the picture?

Hmm... try it sometime ;)

peace,
Ren 


Update:
Finished the puzzle last Friday (the 20th) ... It's pretty :) This is it: 


Newbeary Plaza!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Remembering my grandma...

"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." ~Thornton Wilder

I don't usually remember death days but after last year thought that I'd make an effort. Today I asked my dad for the death days of his parents and I've recorded them (on the calendar on my phone - phones are becoming more and more useful I find). Today is also the fourteenth anniversary of my grandma's death (my mom's mom). 

Of all my grandparents she is the one that I miss most... and think about every now and then. Sometimes it seems as though she has just passed and other times it feels as though it has been forever. 

She was a tough cookie. She ran a shop, was a postmistress, sold lunches and breakfasts and took care of eight children (that alone is cause for admiration in my opinion). I'm sure she did a lot of things  that I don't know about. 

She was called 'Darlin' by *everyone* ... there was a time when I was little that I thought that was her name.

She built puzzles... of the sort that my mom now likes to build and I like to build and my cousin likes to build. Puzzle-making makes me think of her and makes me smile in memory.

She took care of me when I had the cold/flu/virus and my parents couldn't stay home. I'd get dropped off during the day by my grandparents and she'd be the one that took care of me. I have a very sensory memory of lying in her bed with the fan blowing and the curtains swaying - I associate it with rest and healing... every so often I get that same feeling in my room and that makes me smile as well. 

I love her.

peace,
Ren

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Not going to work tomorrow.

"Re-examine all that you have been told. Dismiss that which insults your soul." ~Walt Whitman 

I called in sick today - whenever I enter my office building, and especially my department, it feels as though I can't breathe. Wasn't up to dealing with that today... especially as I woke up with my chest aching and a sore throat. I was thinking of going tomorrow and leaving early. My dad thinks I should just stay home - both to make a point and to rest/recover. It's a big deal when my dad says to stay home because he's the one that has always insisted on me going to school/work. 

I'm annoyed with my workplace. I'm annoyed with myself for staying at my workplace. Time for a new job definitely.

I'm not going to work tomorrow.

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Two very awesome short films...

"All art, whether it pleases us or not, helps to add color, excitement, joy, or sadness and, most often, a sense of awe to our life's experience." ~Henry O. Dorman

The first: Pothound (2011) - A short film 

What is a pothound you wonder? 
Pothound (pronounced 'pothong' in T&T)
noun
1. A dog of mixed or indeterminate breed. A mutt or mongrel.
2. A street dog frequently associated with mischief.
Excellent short film chronicling the adventures of a pothound as it journeys through Trinidad, helping people and animals along the way. 

POTHOUND (2011) - A Short Film from christopher guinness on Vimeo.





The second: The Joy of Books  

A video all book lovers may enjoy...


Hope you enjoy them.

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A conversation with my cousin...

"I know of no realm of life that can provide more companionship in a lonely world or greater feelings of security and purpose in chaotic times than the close ties of a family." ~Charles R. Swindoll

I have thirty-one cousins... seventeen are younger than me, five don't live in Trinidad and Tobago. Some of them I see and talk to regularly... some I don't. Some I get along well with... some of them have some growing up to do. All of them are very interesting people.

I talked to my cousin last night. He turned 43 last December and spent some time trying to convince me that he was twice my age. Then he asked why I was wasting time... at my age he'd already gotten married, had two kids and was an owner of land (not house yet.. just land). I'm not so sure about the married with two kids but maybe I am wasting time? I don't own land (or a house)... I own a car which is going to be sold sometime soon and replaced with another.

What is one 'supposed' to have at my age? Who sets the standards?

My cousin is convinced that my parents want grandchildren. This may be because his mom is trying to get him to give her a female grandchild. I've already told my parents that the Kitten (now almost-Cat) is my child... and that if they want children to play with they can go borrow any of a few of my cousins' children.

My cousin also seems to think that, since I've not yet found myself a 'suitable partner', he (and his brothers? my other male cousins?) should help me out. He started discussing 'criteria'... my prospective mate should be at least as smart as I am (makes sense to me) and should not be darker than him (my cousin... who is lighter in skin colour than I am considering he's got more Chinese blood in him than I've got in me... that one didn't make sense to me). He's going to be working on the rest of the criteria.

If he wasn't joking around I'd ask for help.

I'll find my own prospective mate when I'm good and ready thank you very much.

Family. Oy.

peace,
Ren

Monday, January 9, 2012

Went to my first Tweetup...

"The qualities that make Twitter seem inane and half-baked are what makes it so powerful." ~Jonathan Zittrain

I've been on Twitter since February 2009 but I've only really been on Twitter since last year... I'm not sure when. I'm not sure how I got back into using it either - found out some months ago that Shoeaholic (a.k.a. @racheltnt) had an account and suddenly we were both very active on the Twitter scene. I've written a bit about my thoughts on Twitter before... and Shoeaholic has as well.

I guess I should say that we went to our first tweetup last night. It was fairly awesome... much more fun and much less awkward than I thought it would be. I'd seen the tweets about it during the week - TriniLikeSalt (a Trini living in Boston) is here on vacation and persons decided that a tweetup was in order (to reconnect? lime? ole-talk? all of the above?). I'd been badgered about it by Marc (networking and connecting with fellow Trinis is a good thing he says). Paula told me she was attending and that she was travelling to get there (travelling! in the rainy-gloom that was this Sunday in Trinidad and Tobago! oy!). I told Shoeaholic we'd go but was really sleeping away the rainy afternoon till she showed up at my house and I had to scramble to put on clothes and make myself presentable. 

We went to our first tweetup. Got there half an hour later than we said we would (still early if you're going by Trini-time). Got our photos taken by TriniLikeSalt as part of his photography project - A Thousand Faces (was secretly excited - I think the project is awesome... that he's managed to reach that far? even more awesome... could I do that? Um...idk). Met new people - do they count as new if you've never met in person but have chatted online a gabillion times? Hmm... met people for the first time in person and also met new people that I've never spoken to/tweeted before. It was surprisingly easy to slip into conversations... a continuation of Twitter conversations - just in person and with much more raucous laughter. Good to know that people you think are pretty cool online are even more cool in person. 

There's also the factor that no people can lime like Trini people. We're fairly awesome. I recommend to the world at large that you find a Trini to lime with :)

Am fairly pleased with how this being-on-Twitter thing has been working out. Give it a try if you're up for it... or think you are... there are endless connections to be made, information to be sourced and definitely a lot of fun to be had. Yay Twitter! 

peace,
Ren

Friday, January 6, 2012

All ways lead to the Way...

"Say not, I have found the truth, but rather, I have found a truth. Say not, I have found the path of the soul, Say rather, I have met the soul walking upon my path. For the soul walks upon all paths. The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals." ~Kahlil Gibran 

I've been told (by a friend of my brother) that I should curtail my reading of smutty-fluff books. 

Meh. Meh, I say. Meh. 

If a girl can't read smutty-fluff books then what can she read? Hmph. In any case, I've read much more (and probably will read many more) smutty books than the one he saw. I've also read fluffier books. I read for enjoyment, for discovery, for peace of mind and body. It's an escape of sorts, a relaxation of sorts, a stepping out of oneself. 

'All ways lead to the Way' - it's a line I read in what could be considered a smutty book... (I consider it to be a very good read complete with adventure, political intrigue, battles, magic and steamy romance). It's a line that's been in my head this week. There are many ways to find one's purpose - there are no wrong or right ways - just something that is suited for our individual selves - that makes us part of a whole. 

Desire. Surrender. Knowledge. Contemplation. Service. Action. Prayer. Invocation. Reflection. 


There are many ways to the Way - and if a line in a smutty-fluff book can make me think about it then that's just one more reason to continue reading those books ;)


Peace,
Ren

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Perspective - Use it or Lose it...

"Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~Stephen R. Covey 

Currently trying to sort out some feelings. The title of this post comes to mind whenever I'm in this mood/space... it's from one of my favourite books: "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" - the part I remember, or try to remember anyway, is this:
"Perspective - Use It or Lose It. If you turned to this page, you're forgetting that what is going on around you is not reality. Think about that.  Remember where you came from, where you're going, and why you created the mess you got yourself into in the first place.
I saw a bit of the movie 'Elizabethtown' this weekend. If you haven't seen it then this is a micro-spoiler... one of the main characters goes on a road trip with his father's ashes and at one point states that this was something they should have done years ago. I've been thinking of my relationships since... there are people I'd like to spend more time with, there are people I've spent time with, there are people I should or should not spend time with. 

How do you know who to give your time to? How do you accept when a person only wants to give so much of their time? How do you know when it's time for a relationship to end? How do you know when it is time to accept that another person may or may not want to spend time with you? How do you know what to do when one person can only give so much and the other wants (or seems to want)  more?

I received an email yesterday which says in no uncertain terms that I'm a mean person. It's shaken me up a bit because it's an email from someone that I've thought I had a fairly good relationship with. Is this what happens at the ending of a relationship? In the way of females I'm now trying to analyse every bit of whatever-the-xyz that email meant because really? Mean? Me? It's not a quality that I'd consider as part of my being. I'm not all sunshine and light but whatever darker aspects I've got are fully controlled. Mean? Seriously? Me? Part of me wants to be very vicious in a 'you think I'm mean? wait till you see how mean I can be' type of way. The greater part of me knows that won't accomplish anything and will most likely make me feel horrible... momentarily satisfied but eventually horrible.

Phone call today because apparently someone is missing home. It's a happy-sad-mad-mix of emotions when one tries to be an adult. Why go in the first place? Why make me call if there is nothing much to say? Why have me on the line when there are other calls coming through? It's all a tangled web with me trying to keep my ribbon safe in the weave.

Being female is hard. Being an adult is hard. Being an adult female? Oy. 

Trying to figure out the lessons of the situations. The core is love though it's all covered by situations and events that can make one forget. 

Was told to imagine hugs, chocolate cake and tea... was carried out for a movie and ice-cream. I've got a good life though it's crazy sometimes. Trying not to let the crazy affect other people though remembering that we all need people to lean on. 

2012 is already interesting for me ... how is it for you?

peace,
Ren

Monday, January 2, 2012

What's ahead in 2012?

"Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity." ~Gilda Radner

Happy New Year to you (and you, and you, and you)! 

How did you welcome in 2012? Snap, crackle, pop? Friends and family? Party or prayer? I had a quiet night - family and prayer and an interesting book and a movie I love. Thoughts of intentions and possible-resolutions and what I want in the year ahead. 

What do I want? 

This is the second year I'm welcoming in with the blog - am amazed and proud that I've kept it up thus far. Skimming through posts tonight to see how I've changed or grown (have I changed? have I grown? I think so): the very first post, the last post of 2010, the 'Happy New Year!' post of 2011 (as compared to the grumpy first post of 2011). My thoughts flow easier through my fingers than my mouth. 

I think 2011 was a good year for me. I'm happier with myself. More content, more accepting, more understanding. Perhaps it's age? Perhaps it's experience? Who I am now is different from who I was yesterday or a year ago or 10 years ago. I'm happier with myself though there are still moments of crazy and moments of doubt but... well, I'm human aren't I? It was a good year. I tried new things, visited new places, made new friends. I finally finished the MBA (yes - it didn't take very long but in my mind it was taking *forever*). I paid off some major bills. Overall, I'd just like to say that I rule. And that, apparently, I only cut my hair in late December-early January. 

There's a lot that's been happening in my country and in the world... and a lot that is still to happen. I read this article by Ira Mathur - it's somewhat heartbreaking and somewhat hopeful and represents to me exactly what is the issue with Trinidad and Tobago. There are protests happening all around the globe. I think we're in a time of accelerated change... discovery, transformation. It will be an interesting year.

What do you want for 2012? What thoughts and dreams would you like to bring into being? What do you want to change? What do you want to happen?

I always think that the beginning of the calendar year is a time for figuring out how one would like the year to unfold. 

What do you think?

All the best for 2012... peace, love, health and joy...

Ren