Days like today...

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow." ~Anthony J. D'Angelo 

It's days like the one I had today and probably will have tomorrow that remind me what I love about my job. It's the sharing and the ideas and the potential for something to happen. Today I met with persons from Canada, Barbados, Jamaica, St. Lucia, St. Kitts & Nevis, Antigua and Barbuda, Guyana... and others I may not be remembering. Although my insides cringe at meeting new people and being in new settings it's fun to interact and learn and talk about stuff. Stuff like technical vocational training, labour market information, best practices and models, demand and supply. Years from now will we be able to look back and say we saw this coming, we planned for it and here we are?

Maybe.

Maybe not. It's the 'maybe not' that's part of why I don't like my job... because there is so much possibility and yet there is so much poor management, politics and bureaucracy and ego. 

There is a part of me that wishes that I could rip it all apart and put it back together. Systems and models and ways in which the world could work. Went to the movies yesterday with a new friend to see Chronicle... it's such a guy movie and I thought it ended abruptly yet there were very good plot points... I've been thinking about it. At the end of the trailer for that movie the question is asked: "What are you capable of?" 

Dark side and light side and either way that's a very interesting question. 

When I was maybe 12 or so I remember reading a book (Dream something? something dream? - it sucks that I can't remember the *name* of the book) where everyone in the society were exposed to different skills/tasks till they found their true calling.. that one thing (or more than one thing) that they were meant to do for the society to function at its best. 

I wonder about what it would take to have our present society functioning at its best.

I've got another day of workshops tomorrow... Yay me! :)

night,

Ren

p.s. Happy Leap Day!

Deadlines...

"Deadlines are meant to be broken. And I just keep breaking them." ~Sarah McLachlan 

I'm usually very good with them but... either Carnival messed me up or something did because all writing (personal, work, everything) has screeched to a halt. 

Ergh.

Must get back into the groove. 

peace,

Ren

Sleeping dreams and waking dreams...

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~Edgar Allen Poe

The Sun is moving into Pisces this weekend... I know this because - it's that time of year... and also because I got an email saying so. The Pisces Sun is supposed to create opportunities for introspection and renewal. It is a time when we're charged with paying attention to our dreams - whether they come when asleep or awake. 

I generally don't dream... or am not aware of dreams that I have... or don't remember them. I think our soul knows the cycles that it passes through though. Spent much of yesterday and today asleep or half asleep. All the better for dreaming? Maybe. I'm actually aware today that at some point I did dream - there are hazy memories of things misplaced and remembered and expressions and conversations - I'm hoping at some point that coalesces into something meaningful. I've also been slipping into daydreams whilst awake - fantasies of what may be. 

I wonder about dreaming and waking and just who the dreamer is. 

International Soca Monarch competition was held last night - I watched the Groovy Soca Monarch ... couldn't stay up to watch the Power Soca Monarch. I'm not really in agreement with the results but... oh well. 

I talked to my girl ppl.

I made blueberry bread pudding. 

I gave advice... and maybe a bit of comfort.

It's an interesting time period today/yesterday/tomorrow. I feel somewhat as though sometimes I'm moving through molasses and sometimes I'm moving through glass. 

Who knows what tomorrow brings?

peace,

Ren

5 Minutes - stream of consciousness

"It’s exhilarating to be alive in a time of awakening consciousness; it can also be confusing, disorienting, and painful." ~Adrienne Rich

There's a song in my head that I heard on the radio today - every so often (few years or so) I hear it and I love it and I sing along to it and today I thought I'd find it and put it up here but... I'm not finding it. Granted I don't know the name of the song... but I'm not finding it even though I know the lyrics... Google... why aren't you helping me today? It's a song about love and peace and how happy we'd be if we see tomorrow through the eyes of a child... Ah well. 

It's the day after Valentine's Day... girls make much more of a fuss about it than guys do. At least the girls I know in real life and online. I'm not that fussed by it... I guess it would be nice to get a gift/surprise... but it also would be nice to get something on a random day as well... show me love - anyplace, anytime. Am I bummed that I don't have a special someone? Maybe? I'm not sure? Hmm. I am blessed with much love but there are things that one can only really share with a partner and I guess that's what I'm missing. 

My girl ppl want to go to a fete for Carnival... I've been successful in avoiding any and all thus far. Mwahaha ... and also... Ergh. Was told that Machel Monday was 'awesome' and that I should have been there. Crowds aren't my thing... I'd like to go dancing sometime with the girl ppl but a fete? Meh. 

Sometimes I feel much older than I really am. It's an old soul I have is what some would say. I'm not sure what others would say. 

I really would like to find that song. 

night all... peace,

Ren

Death.

"Death is nothing to fear. It is only another dimension." ~Wayne Dyer

I think I've written a lot about death but then it's a part of life so I guess that's to be expected. 

Whitney Houston died this weekend. I'm not as frazzled by this as most of the people I know. I would be more frazzled if it were my parents or my brother or cousins/aunts/uncles/friends - Whitney made great music but I wouldn't say my life is very empty without her in it. 

Came home to the news of three totally unrelated deaths - the death of a neighbour, the uncle of one of my mom's friends  and the best friend of the nephew of another one of my mom's friends. I've always heard that death comes in threes so I guess this is it for a while. 

(I've also been told that one must NEVER point at a cemetery and that if one does one must bite each finger so that spirits would not follow one home... now you know...)

I gave in and bought this book: 

it's the second in the series and is a twist on the Persephone/Hades story... I find it interesting (my mom doesn't - "too much fantasy", she says) - I like how the author weaves the concept of souls moving on or returning to the world. 

Death doesn't bother me... I'm a believer in reincarnation - mostly because it just makes so much more sense to me. I wonder about people that don't believe in it... if they could explain why not I'd listen. Am sure it would be an interesting discussion. 

peace,

Ren

Checking in...

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know." ~Pema Chodron

Been absent from the blog for most of this week so thought I'd say hello. Hope you are all having a good week...

I'm tired... my eyes have been protesting my frequent computer use, my throat has been trying to decide if it wants to be sore or not. I did some quarrelling at work - some positive results but we'll see what the ultimate end is.

Taking a day at a time for the while.

Today is my workplace Carnival-event/lime/idk what to call it... I wore party earrings. Yay me :)

Happy weekend all,

peace,

Ren



Holy possible lawsuit Batman?!

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again". ~Joseph Campbell

I really have an issue with naming stuff... blog posts, photos, imaginary people (Bob, any imaginary person shall always be called Bob). Today's blog post title is inspired both by the content of the post and the fact that my brother posted as his FB status: "Holy allergies Batman!", which made me laugh and also made me sad since there is the possibility that he's going to go off to study in foreign again and I will miss his physical presence. 

Anyway. 

A friend expressed concern about the fact that I blog about my mum and her medical... stuff... Talked a bit about consent and confidentiality and the fact that the whole world can read whatever I write here. Was pointed in the direction of the 'Universal Declaration of Human Rights' and also the 'Patient's Charter of Rights'... both of which are very interesting reads. 

I talked to my mum. She's a reader of the blog and perhaps my number one supporter. She's fine with me writing about her medical business. It's up to me to decide how much I would and would not write. 

I think this is how it should be. I view the blog as a sort of sacred space... where I can express my thoughts/ideas/feelings - it's a sharing and a release. I won't write each and every detail but I will write if I'm thoughtful... or bothered in some way. 

Ah well. One day she says I'll write her biography. Maybe one day I'll write an autobiography. I guess we'll see. In the meantime I'm thankful that my family is one where we can talk easily freely about our health and our feelings and life in general.  

I think it's important to have persons to share with... does not necessarily have to be blood-related - but persons that one can be comfortable with.

Hope you have at least one such person.

peace,

Ren

Snippets of yesterday...

"Now is the time to know that all that you do is sacred." ~Hafiz

Yesterday I:

• Got up at 5 am to make lunch - it's been months since I last did that.
• Got to work on time!
• Was unable to feel my fingers - because it was so cold in our office... *sigh*
• Learnt that there was no Zometa available at the St. James Medical Complex - my mom is supposed to get this monthly - I wish the hospital people had called or something to let her know not to bother to make that drive into town. Appointment is rescheduled to next week... will call first to see if they've got the drug.
• Felt sorry for Drew Carey - was in the lunch room (at lunch time) and The Price is Right was on... I don't think I can ever be a contestant on that game show - I'm way too calm. I would not flirt with Drew Carey... or jump on him... or anything remotely like that... I'm not even sure I'd run down from my seat.
• Was annoyed by management (in this case our department's manager)... woosah.
• Celebrated a coworker's birthday... with cake and icecream... yum!
• Went to the movies with Shoeaholic - they're finally showing Hugo! We were excited all day about going to see it after work... We were the ONLY ones in the movie theatre... then a couple came in and sat behind us... nevermind all the empty seats - they sat directly behind us. The movie was extremely fabulous though... very very good... I strongly recommend viewing.
• Saw new Big Bang Theory episode - I love that show.
• Fell asleep... I started writing this blog post and fell asleep.

Apparently by Thursday I shut down.... am fairly tired today... of work and a bit of life. Staying positive though - there are lots of things to be happy about.

Happy Friday and Happy Weekend all :)

peace,

Ren

Interesting things: a list, a letter and a vid...

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." ~Henry Miller 

It's already the first of February! Time - there's a topic that needs blogging about. I've been... introspective, moody, thoughtful. In my head for a bit and not particularly willing to open up to the world at this time. This phase will pass as it always does... ups and downs and everything-in-between. Thought I'd share these instead... a list, a letter and a video... they're all very thought-provoking - I guess they fit my mood. 

I've started following Lists of Note and Letters of Note on Twitter... there are so many interesting things that people have written and one of those things is this list: 
"Rescue Etiquette", written by Mark Twain, for the benefit of young gentlemen rescuing people from boarding house fires. It makes me wonder how many people needed rescuing... how many boarding houses had fires... how he came up with the order of importance of persons to be rescued. If I were in a boarding house fire, according to Mark Twain, I'd be 3rd on my brother's list. If I were someone's mother I wouldn't be on their list - mothers aren't listed but mothers-in-law are (though they are way down on the list... even further down the list than furniture)! I feel the need to make my own list of persons that I'd save from a burning building. 


The letter I'd like to share comes from the Letters of Note site and was written by H.L. Mencken in response to Will Durant's question which essentially asked, "what is the meaning of life?". The full text of his response can be found here: "On the Meaning of Life". This is something I ask myself often... what's my purpose? What am I doing? What should I be doing?


*sigh*


The last thing to share tonight is this TEDx video by Shawn Anchor. My brother posted it on my FB wall - it's something I think that everyone should consider. 

What do you think?


peace,
Ren