Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thoughts about (having) children...

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future." ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

My coworker gave birth on Monday to a girl - 8 lbs some ounces. A healthy baby girl with long fingers (maybe she'll grow up to be a piano player?)... 

I've been thinking about writing a post on children for the past two weeks... it's just that I haven't quite figured out what I want to say.

My cousin visited with his not-quite-2-year-old son... A very active little boy who kept testing us - could he go here? Climb up there? Touch this? Lots of fun and very cute and he seemed to like me. Young children seem to like me. I've been told it's because I'm closer to their size... :-/

A little girl waved to me as I was leaving a food court last week. I'd met up with the cute guy, as I was without lunch and he was in the area, and there was a family of four sitting at the table next to ours. Little girl liked us... he says they are fascinated by him (maybe because of his size?)... but she waved to me when we were leaving.

I kinda blame him for these thoughts I'm having. The whole wondering about maybe I'd like to have a child... someday. When I was much younger I said I'd never have any (my mother was horrified... and said I shouldn't say that out loud... and I shouldn't call stuff on myself in the event that I did eventually want). As I've gotten older I've become more open to the idea... but I haven't really found anyone that I thought I'd like to have children with. Also, I'm not sure I'm in a financial position to be having children. Then there's the fact that little children scare me a bit... cuz they're so *small* and completely dependent on others... I can barely manage with the Cat!

There've been times though when I look at the cute guy and the thought occurs to me that it might be very awesome to have a child. Ergh. Is this biological? Is the whole ticking-clock thing real?

Ergh. It's way too soon in this relationship to be thinking such things.

*sigh*

There are things I'd like to share with/teach/show a child though... and I think it would be a wondrous thing to be able to see a person develop from birth to whenever and to know that I have a hand in their development. I think I've learnt a lot from my parents but I've also had a lot of outside learning as well... I value their discussions and time spent with them shapes who I am. I think I'd like to have that same impact.

There's also the practical bit... my dad has said (in a manner which I can't tell is joking or not) that the reason he has had children is so he'll be taken care of in his old age. I've been annoyed by that statement before but now that I am getting older and I've had to do some of that taking care (though more with mom than with dad) I have found myself wondering - who will be around to take care of me when I'm older?  

Do other people go through all this thinking? Ergh.

Children. I think I'd be happy to have them (I seem to be thinking in the plural... ergh?!).

peace,
Ren

1 comment:

guaicotamana said...

yes, but being lesbian well.. the child shall not be biological.. too much trouble.

But I do like teaching, they are very ... was I really like that at that age.