Sunday, March 31, 2013

Every day's a holiday...

Or so it seems sometimes. 

It's something that we Trinis joke about - the amount of public holidays that we have in Trinidad and Tobago. The count for this year is 14, though that's only because two fall on the same day this year. These holidays celebrate our heritage. Trinidad and Tobago is known for being a melting pot of many cultures - each culture has their sacred days which are revered and then there are days that celebrate our nation as a whole.

This weekend is Easter Weekend. I'm not a Christian but I'm thankful for having the Friday and Monday (Good Friday/Easter Monday) as holidays. Rest is definitely needed. Yesterday (March 30th) was also Spiritual Baptist/Shouter Liberation Day. Today, members of the Hindu faith celebrated Phagwa... it isn't a public holiday and the actual date for the festival this year was March 27th but, as far as I know, temples and groups celebrated today.

 

Busy weekend. Spiritual weekend. Celebrations of light and love. 

Do you have something to celebrate? To remember? Something that requires you to pause and give thanks for? I think it's the perfect time for that. 

peace,
Ren

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Fragile.

That's how I'm feeling at the moment. Fragile. Breakable. Hovering right at the edge of tears. 

After seeing The Croods yesterday with the cute guy, I'd thought that for today's post I'd write something about family, parents and children and relationships. I can identify with some of the father-daughter drama - have had quite a lot of that myself.... and I expect that there will be more in my lifetime. The mother strongly reminded  me of my own.

I can't manage it though... can't string together the words that would say all that I want to say. Spent the day taking care of the mother. Had a bit of a meltdown during bath time. I am part of the 'open face sandwich generation'. It is simultaneously the hardest and the easiest thing that I've done.

Hardest in that I sometimes feel as though there's no one around that understands what I'm going through. Intellectually, I know this isn't true but... parenting my parent... trying to understand what she's going through, dealing with her being bedridden (the cleaning and the feeding and the worry that she's not moving around enough) - it's difficult and is suddenly the most time-consuming part of my life. I'm finding it hard to get anything else to matter and I'm doing my best to remember that other relationships are just as important and need their own nurturing.  

Easiest in that... this is my mother. She, who has taken care of me and been there for me at all moments, now needs my care. Of course I will step up and take care of her. There is no other option and there's a bit of simplicity in that fact - she has taken care of me and now I take care of her.

I must remember that I need to be taken care of as well. Some me-time. Self-care. Self-love. I feel fragile... but ultimately, I'm okay. 

peace,
Ren

Friday, March 29, 2013

Guys like pie...

I joked with the cute guy that I could do a post on "Guys like pie... and other things people should have taught us when we were younger". I'm sure I could come up with a few points but my mind keeps focusing on food so instead this post is about "Guys like pie... and other random food thoughts". 

Yesterday my workplace had an Easter Egg Hunt and Lunch event... or rather the 2nd floor (where my department is) had this event. Apart from cheering on coworkers who were hunting for eggs, my only contribution was pie - sweet potato pie. Savoury sweet potato pie. I'm usually the one that contributes plates or cups or sometimes salad, but this time, when asked what I could bring I said sweet potato pie. 

It's just good pie... and for some reason I felt like making and sharing it. 

It was extremely well-received, so much so that people were calling my phone to ask for the recipe and stopping me in the hallway to tell me how good it was. Then I tweeted about it and got this in response:





My future husband will be lucky because I can make pie? Because my pie gets rave reviews? Is it just that guys like pie? If pie equals guys then someone should have told me this sooner. 

Note to self: ~make some pie for the cute guy~

All amusement aside, I've been thinking about why I was moved to share pie.

The workplace has been crazy lately... as it usually is. I've been feeling down about it but haven't been focusing on it as there's a lot of stuff at home that's overshadowing everything else. I keep thinking that things should be a certain way, that people should do what they're supposed to do, that the workplace is meant for work and getting stuff done. 

The workplace is also made of people. People living their own lives and going through their own dramas just as I am. I think that offering to make and then making pie is just my way of reminding myself of that and being thankful that they are trying as well. 

One must be present when cooking/baking. One must think positive thoughts so that food is filled with positive energy. One must offer and share. I truly believe that it is in the giving of oneself - of time, energy and feelings, that we receive. 

Break bread together and commune with those around you.

Everybody loves pie. 

peace,
Ren

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Recommitment...

I haven't been on here in forever (a little over a month). There have been days when I've thought of things that I'd have liked to share, or would have liked to get a perspective on but I just didn't make it to the blog. I can't remember what those things are now... thoughts flow like water, whispers on the wind. I've been thinking that I should do something as my birthday nears... 30 years this year and I'm wondering what I've done with my life thus far and what I want to do with the rest of it.


A recommitment then... to the blog and to being present.


There's a lot going on in my life at the moment though I think perhaps it doesn't seem that way to the world outside. I'm not great with sharing thoughts, feelings and perspectives - at least not in person... at least I don't think I am. Will take this month to sort through what's going on with me and mine.


Tomorrow is 30 days to my 30th birthday. Countdown. I'm not sure what I'll write on - perhaps random thoughts, maybe I'll use some NaBloPoMo prompts, I may write on the 40 days, or I may draw a card (I've many decks to choose from) and blog on that. Whatever I choose to do, I plan on blogging every day till the birthday (and perhaps even till the end of April).

Come along with me?

peace,
Ren