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Saturday, April 6, 2013

Funeral today.

I'd like to stay in bed. Hide under the covers with the curtains closed and deny, deny, deny.

I've read that denial is one of the stages of grief... I completely understand now. 

I'd like to wake up and have breakfast with my mom (pancakes please... or french toast maybe). I'd like to have a quiet day. I'd like to be able to spend time with the family driving each other crazy as is the norm. 

This is not going to happen. Ever again. Or it is, but there's a part missing. 

Funeral today... I'm saying the opening prayer for the funeral service. I'm not quite sure yet what I'm going to say. Am just glad it's a prayer and not any lengthy bit of talking. I don't think I can do lengthy bits of talking just yet. 

Time to say goodbye to the physical body that housed my mom. 

I'm not ready. 

Grr. 

Send love please world... It's needed today. 

I feel somewhat raw and it's making me cranky. 

Funeral today... love to you always mom. 

peace, 
Ren

1 comment:

Andrea Owen said...

Love u Ren... lots of love from Jean-Luc and myself.