Friday, May 31, 2013

Not as young as I think I am

I'm feeling a bit creaky today... Tired? Perhaps being out most of the day and into the night is something I can't do so well any more?

Ergh?

I plan on sleeping most of the day away since I'm going by the Cupcake Wench  later (for dinner! I'm also planning on not eating much today!). 

It's the last day of May... Reflecting a bit on the month past and envisioning the month to come. 

Hope all is well with you.

peace,
Ren

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Long weekend ahead.

Today is both Corpus Christi and Indian Arrival Day... these are public holidays in Trinidad and Tobago so we've got both Thursday and Friday off. 

I've got two limes to attend - one at midday and one later in the evening. The first is with members of the Ashram's Youth Group. They've invited my brother and me to a pizza lime... in celebration of our birthdays and I think also to just hang out with us and make sure we're doing okay. 

This evening the cute guy's cousins are having a lime... I'm invited. I'm... nervous? He's met a lot of my family and is fabulous and gets along well and such... I haven't had that much interaction with his. Um. 

I'm sure all will be well. 

Long day ahead but time spent in the company of friends and family (even if it's not my family) can only be a good thing.

Happy Thursday all!

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A Reminder?

The first healing card that I drew said that, 'The Soul is on Earth for its own delight'. I drew that card again today. A reminder from the Universe? I need to reflect on this card more? 

Um?

My day was supposed to be crazy busy. Early morning meeting. Trip to licensing office. Bills to transfer from my mom's name to mine. 

It was busy... but not in a crazy way. I left early for my meeting as it was in an area I'd never been to. Got there early, scoped out the place and went for coffee. Caramel lattes are divine. Some time with coffee and my Kindle is an ideal way to prepare for any meeting. My office called to say there was stuff happening and that I didn't need to come in for the rest of the day. Suddenly I had time to do... anything. Got through with my errands and was home early. I had fun driving, interacting with people, enjoying the day. 

Perhaps that's what I was meant to do?

Some days it's hard to remember that we're supposed to be enjoying life. Sometimes it's too easy to get caught up in the everyday hustle. 

I'm glad today was not one of those days.

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Rumour and gossip...

My healing card for today says, "Health promotes spirituality, and spirituality promotes health". I'm supposed to choose a spiritual truth and observe it, live it, see how 'challenging it is to let my physical life be in concert with my spiritual ideals'. 

I spend a lot of time each morning just trying to figure out what these cards are trying to tell me. 

Today I tried to identify a spiritual truth that can easily be overlooked. I came up with the power of words... speech. It's something I've been thinking about lately. My mom always encouraged me to not use very negative words and that has stuck with me. Something that I realise I fall into somewhat unconsciously is rumour and gossip, and so I figured that's what I'd look out for today. 

It sneaks up on you. 

I'm generally not one for idle chatter. I'm always the quiet one in the group. There are times though (usually when I'm at my job) that I do become a part of the rumour and gossip mill. The 'I heard...' and 'she said...' and all that comes with that. It usually happens when I'm frustrated or mad... annoyed with either the job or people in the workplace. I know that rumour and gossip can be perceived as either harmless or hurtful but... I've been thinking that either way it's a waste of my time and energy. 

Trying to be conscious of the words I use this week. Join me?

peace,
Ren

Monday, May 27, 2013

Rainy days and Mondays...

Do they get you down? 

I'm not sure how many of you will get the reference so: 


The cute guy tells me that I know a lot of old songs... I guess it's true. 

I love rainy days when I'm at home... or at least indoors. I've never been a fan of Mondays. Rainy days and Mondays don't really get me down though. 

My healing card for today says that, 'pain is a touchstone of spiritual progress'. 

What is causing pain; that moment of being uncomfortable, thoughts that lead to nowhere and wishes unfulfilled? I'm in a state of questioning. 

Are you?

peace,
Ren

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Soul is on Earth for its own delight...

Rainy Sunday in Trinidad and Tobago. I've decided to use my mom's healing cards for the next few weeks... a card a day. Today's says:
It asks about what I enjoy doing. What brings me joy. 

What do I enjoy doing? 

I've been thinking a lot about career options and wondering why people have to work for money. I can't think of anything that I'd like to do that would allow me to live comfortably. I perhaps need to redefine what 'living comfortably' is. Perhaps need to change my way of thinking about employment and jobs. 

The Soul is on Earth for its own delight. 

It's something I need to keep in mind. 

peace,
Ren

edited to add: this picture I saw on Facebook that made me think of this post: 


Saturday, May 25, 2013

Full Moon, Reiki, Blessings and Tarot

There's a full moon in Sagittarius today. A time to focus on your dreams, ideas, ambitions and direct some energy into bringing them into being. 

I took the Reiki Level 1 class. I think perhaps I'd be sceptical about Reiki or energy healing on the whole if I didn't feel the energy flow myself. It's not exactly something that is visible to the world. Not exactly something that you can clearly tell is impacting on you - unless you are sensitive... just that bit more open to touch or feeling. It's interesting. 

I'm pleased with myself for doing it. There's going to be another Level 2 class in October - will see if I do that then. Giving myself time to get used to being attuned and to practice on myself and perhaps those close to me. It's said that the attunement starts a cleansing process... clearing up toxins and thought patterns. I'm thinking of keeping a journal for the next few weeks. 

I got my car blessed by the Guru. We talked about my mom, my family and what's going on now. I cried. I realise that I haven't really done that since her passing. I'm not very fond of crying but... sometimes it's necessary. A release of sorts. 

Came home and did a tarot reading. It's World Tarot Day today which is reason enough to do a reading though I try to do one every full moon anyway. 
Photo taken with my phone... 
Past, present and future. IV of Wands, V of Swords and Justice. Each person interprets the cards differently. I've got my thoughts on these. 

Happy Saturday all. Take some time to dream, visualise, think of where you'd like to be or what you'd like to bring into being. 

peace,
Ren

Friday, May 24, 2013

Rotimatic...

Alternative title of post: 'what will they think of next?!'

Shared on my twitter timeline: Rotimatic.com 



What is it? The world's first fully-automatic roti-making appliance. Designed by Zimplistic, a Singaporean start-up, it's being unveiled this July. The inventors say that their market is mainly South Asian and Indian expats living abroad. I think they'll find that they have a much larger market than they initially thought. 

Roti is one of the staples here in Trinidad and Tobago. There are lists of 'best picks' and 'best roti shops'. There are YouTube videos: 

I love how the guy had to get his mom to help make it. I learnt how to make roti from the Naparima Girls' Cookbook. My dad gave me this cookbook in 2000 and the first recipe I tried was the sada roti recipe... it comes out perfectly every time. 

Now there's going to be an appliance that can make sada roti/chapatis... It's amazing. I'm going to be even more impressed if they expand their product line to include something that can fill rotis with dhal or aloo... but right now I'm pretty impressed. 

Technology ftw!

peace,
Ren

Thursday, May 23, 2013

World Turtle Day!

It's World Turtle Day today... I know this because of twitter: 




Trinidad and Tobago is the nesting ground for five species of turtles: leatherbacks (as seen in the photo), hawksbills, green turtles, olive ridleys and loggerheads. I think that's pretty impressive. My department has been talking about going turtle watching during this turtle nesting season. I've been once... and it was poorly timed such that I saw not one turtle and froze most of the night (sea blast... it can be cold). I'm looking forward to trying again sometime. Read that Trinidad is 'now likely the world's leading tourist destination for people to see leatherbacks'. If the world is coming here to see them then surely I can take time to go see them as well. 

If you're interested in turtle watching or conservation you can check out the Turtle Village Trust. They're doing some really good work. 

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

More car stories

I got my old car sold today. Bit of a relief in that it's no longer just sitting in the garage, I'm no longer responsible for its care. Bit of... nostalgic feelings... first car bought and now sold.  

Had a bit of drama with it - car decided to give trouble - been told it's because it didn't want to be sold. Luckily we sorted out everything and the process of selling/transferring car to new owner was fairly smooth. 

Felt grateful for my dad. I think he has a magic touch when it comes to buying and selling vehicles. I'm also glad he was there when car decided to give trouble, that he got car fixed up, that he was there for the whole process. 

Yes, I'm an adult and in all likelihood could conduct such transactions by myself with no fuss. It's just good to know that there's someone that's got your back even if at times you may not think so. 

Long day today but... Yay! Got car sold!

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Miniatures...

Perhaps it's because I'm a small person that I have an appreciation for the smaller things. Perhaps I just find that small things can be really cute, delicate, dainty. It's the advantage of being small when there are so many disadvantages

Small stuff make people go 'awwww'. 

I'm not quite sure that everyone would appreciate the fabulousness of Jenny Lawson's (a.k.a. The Bloggess) haunted dollhouse but I love it. It's a work-in-progress that's been inspired by both horror and fantasy books and includes secret passages, an Ouija board, tarot cards, a sleeping dragon, Fawkes and gargoyles. It is breathtaking and you can see photos of her creations on her Flickr account.

I am sure that the majority of persons (or at least the majority of  females) would love the food miniatures created by St├ęphanie Kilgast. I particularly love her dessert tables and that she creates jewellery as well as collectible miniatures. 

https://www.facebook.com/PetitPlat
Pretty awesome stuff. I'm always amazed that people can create such things.

Do you like miniatures? Or the reverse... do you like giant stuff? 

peace,
Ren

Monday, May 20, 2013

Sun moves into Gemini...

Today the Sun moves into Gemini. If you didn't know before, now you do. 

Today is also my brother's birthday. He's a Taurus. Born on the cusp... that time when the signs are changing over. 

Gemini 'influences communication, networking and the creative flow of ideas'. I'm looking forward to whatever that means. Been thinking of writing stories... science fiction, fantasy, something like a memoir. 

Need to think more, dream more, network more... 

I feel like stretching. 

How do you feel today?

peace,
Ren

Sunday, May 19, 2013

It's supposed to be my rest day...

My dad has banned me from going out today. 

Yes, I am 30 years old and able to do whatever I want when I want to... but. My dad has banned me from going out today :-|

He says I'm exhausted and should stay home and rest. Of course, his version of stay home and rest includes me making lunch, ironing clothes, cleaning house and whatever.

Something isn't adding up here. 

I am tired though. 

Afternoon nap ftw!

peace,
Ren

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Boy-Girl Issues.

Man-Woman Issues?

At what age do we stop referring to ourselves as a boy/girl? 

Hmm. Anyway. 

Went to see Star Trek Into Darkness with the cute guy and his friends. If you are a Star Trek fan or an action fan or just want to enjoy a good movie I'd recommend it. The story was solid, the visuals were amazing, the soundtrack was excellent. There was one main thing that stood out that I was unimpressed by (and it's not just me!) but... overall good movie. 

Was grumpy with the cute guy and am sorry for it. I think the previous days of blogging has let the world know it's that time of month... Moody. I am moody. 

Was fine except that the movie was at 1:15 p.m. - this meant no lunch... cuz with getting stuff at home organised and then getting self ready and then heading to movie theatre... there was no time. We bought cold pastries from a grocery (cheese croissant for me, sausage roll for him)... they were cold. We bought popcorn to eat during movie. All foodstuffs were eaten about a half hour into movie watching. It was a long movie (210 minutes for the IMAX version). I was starving at the end. 

I really like food. I've blogged about it a lot here, even going so far as to list some of my favourites. There's more to be added to that list as I keep finding dishes that I love. The issue I have with food is that when I get hungry... I get *hungry*... full on headache, nausea, general weakness. I can be very scary when hungry (or so I've been told).

After a long movie and no lunch you can imagine that I was ready to eat... anything. The world maybe. Food. Grr. Except that we'd gone with cute guy's friends... and they take forever to make up their minds (this is actually not much different from my own girl people). What is it with people not being able to decide where/when to eat? Meh.

I was grumpy with the cute guy when I really shouldn't have been. I should have eaten before, especially since I know just how bad it can get. I should have remembered that my girl people like ole talking and often have a hard time figuring out where to go. I should have just said I really wasn't up for waiting around and that food was needed as soon as possible. 

Instead, I got grumpy cuz the cute guy is not psychic. Though I do think he should have picked up on my grumpiness... Hmm. 

I got food but that didn't end the overall feelings of grumpy irritability. 

Ah well.

Communication. I'm not so great at it. Still working on it. Need to take better care of myself and my relationships. 

peace,
Ren

Friday, May 17, 2013

T.O.M.

It's an acronym that the girl people and I use that means 'Time of Month'. 

T.O.M. is evil. It is a sentiment we all share. Just yesterday I wrote about how I was feeling droopy. That's part of it... along with crazy mood swings, aching body parts and general meh. MEH. 

I'm fairly lucky in that my cycle is regular... at least this is what I try to remind myself. I am lucky. Regular means less possibility of medical issues. Of course, regular also means that every month I go through that T.O.M. 

Meh. 

There's lots of info out there about this - one of the best videos that I've seen is by Superwoman, who is scarily, funnily, accurate in the information she provides:   


I think everyone should watch this video. 

peace,
Ren

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Just call me 'Droopy'

Okay... no, please don't.

I've just been feeling that way lately. Lethargic. Slow. I'm in bed tonight by 9:30... 

I'm blaming this on getting older... and on being unable to figure out my purpose in life. I'm drifting through my days and the only exciting bright spots are with the family or the cute guy or friends. 

Ah well. 

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I'm keeping my breasts...

Or at least I'm keeping them for as long as I can. This may be for my whole life... or it may not. Who knows what the future holds?

You may wonder why I've decided to make such a statement. This post is in response to Angelina Jolie's decision to have a double mastectomy, the reasons behind her decision, the world's reaction to her decision and most importantly my own feelings about the need for such surgery. 


It is a tough decision to make and I'm sure that she considered all options - medical and otherwise. I'm sure she thought about what her future would look like for herself and her family if she were to develop cancer or not. I'm sure she did, not only because she said so, but because it's what I'm doing as well. 

Readers of this blog would know that my mom recently passed away... She was diagnosed with breast cancer seventeen (17) years ago and fought against it for the rest of her life. I've been with her the entire time. I know what she went through with her initial diagnosis, with radiation and chemotherapy treatments, with trying to find alternative treatments, with hoping for the best and finding out the worst... repeatedly. I know that through it all she was [mostly] positive and tried her best to honour the body that she was blessed with. 

As her daughter there is the possibility that I may someday be diagnosed with cancer. I don't know what the statistics are - I haven't taken the test... nor am I sure that I want to. Is it better to take the test and know what may be the possibilities? Or is it better to just live life? Day by day, moment by moment... who knows what is the right choice?

I've been reading some of the articles online - it's what I do when I'm not sure of stuff... There were a lot of positive articles; these two stood out for me:
  • Dvora Koelling wrote a thank you message to Angelina - for sharing her story because it helps the rest of us... makes us think and consider what choices we want to make. 
  • Lissa Ranking wrote an article entitled 'Was Angelina Jolie medically hexed?' - there are a lot of points in her article that resonate with me especially these two: 
    • what you believe about your health is likely to come true
    • we are not victims of our genes
There is also a lot of negative talk happening which surprised me at first and then didn't when I thought about it. The world can be a very mean place. Two bloggers highlighted some of the negative here and here - I'm including them because they're both well written and because to see the whole we must see both the dark and light sides. 

I think it was a very brave thing that Angelina did, finding out and then deciding what she wanted to do about her health. I'm giving myself time to figure it out. Do I take the test? What do I do with the results if I do? Decisions to be made but one of them I've already done. I'm keeping my breasts as long as they're healthy. If at some point they aren't I'll review my decision. 

peace,
Ren

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Thinking about energy...

Energy is the core of all matter... including our own bodies. It's something that different cultures have recognised and labelled as Chi, Ki, Qi, Prana, Spirit... that life force that supports us all.

I think energy fields are something that fascinates people... how energy can be manipulated, how we can interact with it and how it can be used in positive or negative ways. 


It's surprising how often energy is portrayed in our culture - my earliest knowledge/understanding of moving energy came not from being involved with the Ashram (though of course that has helped significantly) but from playing Street Fighter. My favourite character (as is perhaps the case with most girls) is Chun-Li; one of her trademark moves is the Kikoken - a move where she focuses energy through her palms and sends it out to her opponent: 







Alex Grey, the co-founder of CoSM (which I'd like to visit someday) has done paintings which 'interweave biological anatomy with psychic and spiritual energies'. His work is perhaps the best examples I've seen of how our energy body may appear.



In my late teens, my mom, brother and I took Tai Chi and Qigong classes for a while. I'd someday like to get certified to teach as well. I think anyone involved with martial arts or dance or sports would have some feeling of how energy moves through our bodies. 

Many years ago my mom bought the book 'Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing through the Human Energy Field' by Barbara Brennan which offers insight to the human energy field; how it looks, functions, can be damaged and how it may be healed. She then went on to learn to do Reiki and whenever I was unwell would provide a bit of healing. I've thought many times of learning but never got around to it... and now the Ashram is having workshops teaching both Levels 1 and 2


I'm waffling... I want to do it, but I don't want my whole weekend to be workshops. I should do it, shouldn't I? It's been on my mind for such a long time. It's just one weekend. 


I think I should do it.


peace,

Ren

Monday, May 13, 2013

Sleep...

I've been thinking of that all day. Been drifting off a lot. Maybe I'll write it all out someday.

Take some time to rest.

peace,
Ren

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Weekend... Day 2.

Happy Mother's Day!

I woke up early but got out of bed late. Tired after long day yesterday.

My dad and I had vague plans of going by my cousin for him to check out engine and mechanical stuff with new car... to make sure that all really is as well as we think it is. Cousin wasn't home and that was fine with me.

Went to lunch by the cute guy. His mom is an awesome cook... I wondered if I should have gotten something for her - as it's mother's day. I didn't - mostly cuz I was already on my way to his house when I thought about it. I'm not quite sure what the etiquette is when interacting with the cute guy's family... Help? Must do research. 

I wore one of my mom's t-shirts. One that I'd bought for her and that she loved and that I fit in. Once upon a time she was bigger than me... and then she wasn't. I may have spoken too soon yesterday... I miss my mom. Ah well. 

Went to the Trinidad and Tobago Orchid Society's orchid show. The theme this time around was 'Orchids! A gift to mothers!'... appropriate for a show being held on mother's day weekend. It's something that mom and I would have gone to. The Orchid Society outdid themselves I think, the displays were much prettier than in previous years. Cute guy and I took photos... I'm still pleased that he seems perfectly fine with going with me to flower shows. 



Pretty. Flowers are pretty. You can see more on my set on Flickr.

Giving thanks tonight for my mom, for all the women I know, for the Divine Feminine. Giving thanks also for the men who support us. 

peace,
Ren

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day Weekend... Day 1.

The thing about mother's day weekend is that my mom is no longer physically with us. I was somewhat dreading this weekend... but... it's been surprisingly light-hearted. Only happy thoughts and fond memories this weekend. Good times. 

I spent the morning cleaning out new car... New car is awesome! Must carry it to get blessed... must wash outside... but yay! New car!

Our family was taken out to lunch by my mom's girl people. I suspect they're taking care of us in the same way that they would my mom. Or that they think my mom would. It was a really nice thing to do. 

It occurs to me that I may have such strong bonds with my own girl people because of my mom's closeness with hers. Girl people - they're necessary to remain sane/have fun/grow. 

We went to the Lakshmi Narayan Temple which has an on-site vegetarian restaurant. Food was good (paneer! I love paneer!) and the conversation was as well (though there was some doctor and teacher bashing... justified I think - but it does make me wonder about the future of our country). My brother and I got birthday wishes... his birthday is just over a week away. We toured the temple grounds and I took a photo or few. 

View from the temple...
It was the kind of day where you'd lift your face to the sun and breathe deeply of the fresh air. 

After we got back my dad and I got a ride to Mayaro with my cousin. Could have gone by ourselves but there was heavy furniture that needed to be moved so cousin's pickup and muscles were made use of. My brother did not go. I am somewhat annoyed with my brother this weekend as he has not done much to help out in the house at all this week even though he's at home. He says he's not a housewife... newsflash: my dad and I aren't housewives either.  We just all live in the same space and try to make it work. Apparently an understanding of living in community and how one can help out is something my brother does not have... although I think that he thinks that he does. I'm not sure how this is going to go. I do not want to grump about my brother in my happy blog post. 

Generally good day... some sayings (Trini-isms?) I heard/learnt today:
  1. one must not give someone pepper in their hand... must put it down on table/counter and let them pick it up... otherwise there'll be disagreements.
  2. when planting coconut trees you must sit down... this ensures that the tree doesn't grow unmanageably tall. 
  3. when planting cassava you must keep a bit of sugar in your mouth... this ensures that the cassava is sweet and not bitter.
Happy Saturday all!

peace,
Ren

Friday, May 10, 2013

I feel so sleepy today...

So, instead of an actual post with lots of writing and stuff, I give to you:


My local photowalking board on Pinterest! All photos were taken in Trinidad and Tobago by either myself or people that I know (photowalkers!).

Enjoy!

Happy weekend all.

peace,
Ren

Thursday, May 9, 2013

New Car!

I've got a new car! New-ish really since it's local used but still... new car! Yay! And, thanks to all who were wishing for me to get one as well :)

Remember how I said I had my eye on a car I'd like to buy? That's the one. Search came through fine and so we arranged to buy car. 'We' because my dad has been a major help. I'm not sure things would run as smoothly if he weren't involved in the process. One day I'm going to have to be able to arrange all these things myself - thankfully, that day is not today.

Car is fabulous (I may be biased). The process to get car? Not so fabulous. It's been a long day. I still have to find a buyer for my old car - sale of that would help to pay off new car. 

Happy though... Yay! New Car!

peace,
Ren

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Peru...

It's one of the places I would like to go to at some point. 

It came to mind today as everyone's been talking about the $14 million LottoPlus Jackpot. What would you do if you had $14 million? I know what I'd do with any large sum of money... pay off debts, invest (invest! - money must make more money!) and travel. 

One of the places that I'd like to explore is Peru... even though it's hilly (this Taurus girl is made for flat lands... grounded... I need to be grounded) and, I'm sure, very cold in parts. 

I first began thinking of visiting Peru many (many, many...) years back, when my mom lent me the Celestine Prophesy to read. It seemed like a very mystical place... air and earth and years of history. 

Then I forgot about it and only started thinking about it after secondary school - that bit of time where one stops to think about what happens next. I went on to do my degree, then started working and then everyday life just took over.

The regular, the everyday can suck you in. Ah well. 

It's been a random thought in my head for years. Some time back I came across the Living Routes website. They currently offer two programmes in Peru... they're both something I may consider at some point. 

While I was in Massachusetts, we spent time daydreaming of the next thing we'd do. The next major soul-enriching thing... the thing that was just what the heart wanted to and not the head. Volunteer at another place? Kalani maybe? Skydiving lessons? Yoga or Yoga Dance certification? Travel... Peru was one of the places we dreamed about.  

There is something about Peru. I'd like to go on a Magical Journey - Cusco to the Sacred Valley to Machu Picchu? I'd love to do that. 

Maybe one day I will. 

Daydream with me... where would you go if you had the time and the funds? Where calls to you? 

I'd like to know.

peace,
Ren