Sunday, August 4, 2013

On the way to figuring out the whole me... (warning: long post ahead)

'Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny--he has something to fulfil, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally--you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.' ~ Osho

When I first started blogging and up until the end of last year, I began each post with a quotation - something that in some way summed up my feelings or thoughts about what I was writing. I'm not sure why I stopped but apparently it's time that I started again. It's the first thing I thought of doing when I sat down to write - finding that perfect quote that speaks to what I want to say. 

What do you think of the above quote?

I've been thinking that for one to truly appreciate one's life, one must appreciate all the facets that make up our lives. All of the connections; we are more than the sum of our parts but I think that we need to know all of our parts to appreciate the sum and beyond.

I've been trying to figure out my parts. The different facets that make up my being. Perhaps in figuring this out I will come to realise what my message is - what I'm meant to bring to this world.

My purpose?

I'm going to quit my job and do the 200-hr yoga teacher training. There. I've said it to [some] people and now I've written it on the blog. I'm tired of my job - I don't know what the reason is for being there and it is both soul-sucking and energy-draining. I've been complaining about it since before I started this blog but have done nothing much about it. The main reasons for me staying there and keeping up with the grind no longer exist. Whilst I don't know that yoga teacher training can help me in any way... I do know that I'm excited about it. It's something that a part of me has wanted to do for a long time. 

My dad freaked out a bit when I told him but he's getting used to the idea I think. I know he's worried about me not having a job, about stuff like living expenses and what would happen if something happened to him and what am I doing with my life... I think I need this to figure out what I'm doing with my life. 

I'm looking at it as a jumping point. A beginning of sorts. Maybe I'll open my own studio? Maybe I'll privately teach people? Maybe I'll take the skills that I learn, fuse them with those I've already got and create something new and exciting?

It's a giant 'maybe' but it's a 'maybe' that I feel excited about... positive... happy. I feel that in other areas of my life I follow what makes me happy... and so in this area, the career/work area, I need to do the same. There is a part of me that feels a strong revulsion at the thought of continuing on in an 8 to 4 office job. Each day is more of a struggle to convince myself to get to work. Surely something isn't right here?

I'm figuring it out. Following the excitement and the happy in the hopes that it would lead into finding out my purpose.

Follow your happy (remind me that I'm committed to following mine).

peace,
Ren

2 comments:

Sasha Jattansingh said...

Renee I am so proud of you!

If you think this is what you need to do in determining your purpose then definitely do it. When I resigned from my job earlier this year people thought I was crazy... but if I stayed I wouldn't be experiencing life on the level that I wanted... and I wouldn't be nearer to figuring out my purpose... Go brave and confident and the universe will not let you down :)

Also let me know when you're giving yoga classes :)

Haydn said...

Renee, "You are a volume in the divine book. A mirror to the power that created the universe. Whatever you want, ask it of yourself. Whatever you're looking for can only be found inside of you" -Rumi