Saturday, December 14, 2013

Not enough time...

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you." ~Khalil Gibran 

I missed posting yesterday because I was so caught up in activities that I couldn't sit long enough to write the thoughts in my head. I'm somewhat happy that it happened that way though as yesterday's thoughts tie in with those of today. Yesterday I attended the Blue Star Preschool's Christmas programme. My brother has become greatly involved with the preschool; he's been assisting with the classes, teaching the kids yoga and just generally helping out where he can. It's interesting seeing him interact with these kids as I don't recall him being so good at it and now he likes kids and they like him. For this Christmas programme he helped with the organisation and planning, with teaching the kids their parts in the Christmas skit and songs that would be performed. He sewed costumes. It is amazing.

The kids were also amazing. They are very adorable. Attentive and clever and lovable. Cute. In the same way that I am amazed at how well my brother has been interacting with these youngsters; I'm amazed at how much fun I find them to be. I guess some people like children and with others it just takes some time.

Last night I went to a company's Christmas function with the cute guy. It ended at a very late hour and I couldn't help but wonder about the families of those who stayed till the end. Did some of them have children? Were they single? Newly coupled? I've been thinking that parenting is something that becomes an integral part of one's life. If one becomes a parent then even when the children are old enough to take care of themselves the parent is still concerned about their well-being (or at least that is how I think it should be). That is how it has been with my parents and if I ever decide to become a parent this is how I will be. 

Today I went to a wedding with the cute guy and picked up a young friend. She gave me flowers which I put in my hair. She and her little sister kept coming around me and talked to me a few times. Anyone can be an example to a child I think... it's something we must be conscious of - that at any moment whether we know it or recognise it or not, someone's child may be looking at us and forming his/her own ideas of the world. 

Perhaps that will be enough for me? Setting examples of how to be in this space without having my own? I've mentioned before that when I was little I used to say that I would never want kids and that that statement made my mom most unhappy. That statement has gradually changed as I become easier with being around children. It is a possibility. It makes me think of time though as, of course, women have to be conscious of our internal clock. I don't know that there is enough time to figure out myself and to also start raising someone. I'm thirty now... it's not that late in the whole scheme of things but there is still the awareness of time passing. 

What do you think? There is the saying that 'it takes a village to raise a child'... perhaps it would be okay to have a child later on in life if there is the support to take care of it. I feel that I have that support with my brother and younger cousins and even those friends I have at the Blue Star. So. It's all a possibility.

I'm just noticing that recently I've been more aware of kids. How they interact with the world, how they relate to people. It's just something I'm paying attention to in this time where my friends are wondering whether they should have or not have kids. What're your thoughts?

peace,
Ren

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