Cry if you need to...

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." ~Albert Smith

This is my advice to you.

If you're tired or in pain or sad or happy or excited or just don't know what you're feeling... cry if you need to.

Wednesday nights have recently become a major tv-watching time for my mom and I... there's The Middle, then Suburgatory and lastly America's Next Top Model. We are couch potatoes... lazy bums... slaves to the tv gods... anyway. So last night my mom sneaks away to her room after the end of The Middle... I go to find out what's up (aka check up on her)... and find her crying.

Dear cancer (and all the other pain/trauma/drama that you cause), I really dislike you.

My mom doesn't like to cry in front of us... somewhat understandable since I'm not one to cry in front of people (family/friend/acquaintance/stranger) either. Also, if she starts to cry then odds are likely that I'll start to cry as well. She said to me that she just needed to cry a bit and then she'd come back out to watch ANTM... Oh mama, I love you.

If you need to cry at any point then just do it. Forget about what other people think or how your tears may affect them... if the need to cry is great then just do it. Channel the Nike people.

It's my opinion that crying is good for the soul. Cleansing.. like the feel of the day when a thunderstorm has just passed. I'm not the only one that thinks this... being the person that I am I did research (a smidgen but it still counts) and found this article: The Healing Properties of Tears: 7 good reasons to cry your eyes out.

See? Not just one ... seven good reasons.

If you feel that you need permission, if you just can't let go, if you need to be in a safe place.. I'm saying it's ok. Permission granted. Find that space where you can just be.

Cry if you need to.

peace,

Ren

Bitch. Moan. Sigh. Breathe.

"You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, I release the need for this in my life."  ~
Wayne Dyer

This is probably not the best way to start the new year. But. I feel the need to scream. Except that if I tried then I'd be unsuccessful - screaming isn't exactly something one does when one has the flu/cold/virus - mucus: not one's friend. I ache all over. Should've stayed in bed today but I'm trying to be a good employee and turn up for the first day of the work-year (I'm applying for 2 weeks off at the end of January - if I'm here now then there shouldn't be any problem with letting me leave then... right?). I realise that I'm the ONLY one in my MBA class to think so though. No one has gone to work today. Why? Dissertation due in tomorrow. Even those rare persons that are finished are at home making sure all be well with it. Ergh. I'm not done. It is currently the bane of my existence. Seriously. Bane. B.A.N.E. Such a bad word - makes you wonder about those parents that name their children that. My head hurts. Does anyone really care about epistemology and ontology and the like? How many persons know what that is? Does knowing what it is make me a better person in any way? Meh. Bad morning kinda. Yes, dad, I am aware that this happens everytime I have a major assignment to hand in. Perhaps I'm not the person to be doing assignments that need to be handed in? Last night I had a flash back to Form 5 ... I seem to remember doing my Principles of Accounts SBA in three days before the due date. Oy. My eyes hurt. Why is the sun so bright today? or is it that I'm constantly on the computer or reading or such? My ears hurt. Why does the dog bark so loud? why does he not remember which gate he has gone out from? Yes, mom, I know he's just an animal. Just an animal does not cut it this morning. Tears in my oatmeal - I think perhaps I should suggest to theoatmeal to do a comic on the stresses of getting a dissertation/thesis/paper/anything done when you don't really give a hoot. I should give a hoot... ? Maybe. Perhaps I should suggest it to hyperbole and a half as well. I'd really just like to go back to bed. My insides hurt. Because of course now is the time when I should feel like there are tiny people carving out my insides with pickaxes or cutlasses or whatever. Yay world.

*sigh*

*SIGH*

So I'll write a happy Happy New Year! post sometime later this week. When I feel somewhat alive - and happy.

peace,

Ren