It's the eve of the New Year... I wish for you:

'twas the night before Christmas...

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." ~Og Mandino

Christmas Eve and I've finally made it to the blog. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about or that I've not had the time in which to write - it's just that I'm finding it hard to be on my computer often. Ah well. Here I am now...

It's been a busy month - crazy in the so-much-to-do type of way. Most of my country celebrates Christmas... there are those that don't but the majority does. It's a lot of organizing and paying-of-bills and shopping to get the perfect presents. It's the end-of-the-year final rush to get work projects wrapped up as best as they can be. It's luncheons and dinners and parties and limes. It's traffic and crazy drivers. Winter solstice though there is no winter here. December. Christmas. 

I found the perfect presents for my family ahead of time this year (go me!) and they've already been opened and exclaimed over. We do the gift-exchanging on Christmas Eve because we're up early to go to the Blue Star at 5 am on Christmas morning. Gifts for everyone else? Christmas cards... I love you all :) My family is huge (aunts, uncles, cousins) and I've got friends (work friends, school friends, girl friends) - if I were to shop for everyone I'd be severely lacking cash for most of next year. So, Christmas cards. 

I've already given out those to my work friends - school/girl friends will receive at some point (hopefully this year). Work has been crazy. People have been going off on vacation. I've had five vacation days which I split up so that I ended up with three long weekends for December - somewhat relaxing and I was fairly smug about it. Projects have been shifted and paused. I've been thinking more and more of what I'd like to be doing instead of what I'm doing now. No real answers yet apart from that it's not what I'm doing now. My workplace is crazy.

My work friends are awesome though. I've been using the word 'awesome' a lot. It's been absorbed into my vocabulary. My work friends are awesome - been spending more time than I've ever done with the members of my department - there's been a lot of shared moments and conversations. It's been interesting this year. 

What's also been interesting? Photo walks... I love taking photos. I don't have the patience or the interest in processing them but I do love taking them. Went to the last walk of the year to the Wild Fowl Trust on the 17th December. Met new people (some of whom know of the blog!), got to hold a macajuel, took lots of photos:

Nature is fabulously beautiful. 

Am giving thanks for what I have and reflecting on what I want... it's just that time of year. Solstice is a part of it but only a small part. 

How are you celebrating your holidays? What moves you? Who do  you spend it with? Who do you want to spend it with? 

I've been thinking that there are so many choices a person can make. I'm content with mine at the moment. Feeling a bit stagnant - knowing there needs to be a shaking-up of sorts soon. I'm concentrating on being happy in the here-and-now. 

Merry Christmas to you... or Season's greetings... or if you don't celebrate anything - all my love.

peace,

Ren 

Can you change who you are?

"You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet." ~Hal Borland 

It's December. Where did the year go? I'm busy with multiple projects in work (just call me Super Woman) and with Christmas (shopping, friends, family!). I love this time of year though - December is my second favourite month of the year. It just seems that everyone is more happy. Or it could be that I'm more happy around December what with all the music and the food and the shopping and the liming. December is awesome. 

What's not-so-awesome? Family squabbles. I guess they happen in every family/household when things need doing and aren't getting done (or aren't being done properly). People respond differently to emotional drama. Emotions can hijack us and leave us a weepy mess... or they can cause us to withdraw into our very best impression of a stone statue. Emotions are tricky things and we all deal with them differently. This is something I must remember. It's not just my way or the highway. 

Can you change who you are?

There are things about ourselves that we can change. On Friday I went rock wall climbing. It was scary (I'm afraid of heights - there's a reason I'm short and that is because I'm supposed to be close to the ground)... and yet it was also exhilarating. Scary because well... whoa - I was up very high. Exhilarating because my fear is not the boss of me, I am the boss of my fear. This is something I've been telling myself often - it seems to be working because a few years back there was no way anyone was going to get me up that wall. 

There are things about ourselves that we cannot change. We cannot change how something may affect us - there will always be situations that will tug at our heartstrings or punch us in the gut or overwhelm us with some emotion or other. What we can change is how we react, how we respond and I think part of that is realising how others may react/respond.

My parents (in my mind at least) have always been opposites - heart-oriented vs head-oriented... the emotional vs the logical. As I've gotten older I've seen them become more balanced but still stay true to their .. orientation. It's something I can't change in them and something I'm working on in myself. Finding the balance. I don't want to be more of one than the other but there lies the question... can I change who I am? If one is inherently more of one than the other ... will it always be so?

I'm thoughtful tonight... If you have thoughts or ideas feel free to share...

peace,

Ren

My 'plus one'...

"... this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, it's time to embrace new ideas about romance and family - and to acknowledge the end of 'traditional' marriage as society's highest ideal." ~Kate Bolick

It's that time of year when there are dinners or lunches or some sort of event held to celebrate something (whether it be Christmas or something else that's being celebrated). Our office is having a 'Christmas Luncheon' and as is customary for these events we can bring along a guest. This is great for married people... or for people with significant others. Apparently it's not great for single people? I'm not exactly sure? I'm perfectly happy going to places/events by myself and, if I really wanted to go with someone, then I can call on my brother or any of my cousins (male or female) or even my girl people (that group of girls closest to my heart) - all of whom would be happy to go along with me if only to keep me company... all of whom would keep me entertained.  

Shoeaholic asked who'd be my 'plus one'. I said noone... then I said if I had to bring someone (which I don't) I'd ask my brother. She thought that was sad. I was thoroughly confused. I'm single after all. Am I supposed to hunt up someone to carry? And why?

I read this excellent article recently: 'All the Single Ladies'. It discusses the changing concept of marriage, changing family structures, gender parity, a 'crisis in gender', 'dating gaps', and a lot of theories and ideas about the male-female relationship and how that's changing. It's very thought-provoking... and resonates a lot with what I think about relationships and how they can be.  

I'm lucky I think in that I have strong relationships with both family and friends. I don't see the need at this time to hook up with some random guy... and I haven't really met any guy in recent times that I'd like to hook up with or partner with, or have a long-term relationship with. Maybe it's that I'm not allowing myself to or that I'm just not out and about meeting guys - whatever it is... I think I'm good at the moment. What will be will be. In the meantime I have any of a number of persons to choose from to act as a 'plus one' and if I didn't... I'm comfortable in my own company.

peace,

Ren

Circle of Life

"Everything is affected by and is part of everything else, changing constantly from one state to another. The rain becomes the river; the river surrenders to the sea and the cycle begins over again. Nothing is ever lost. The melody changes – the dance goes on." ~Connie Harrison 

Two statements I made to my mom today: 

1. "If I don't have children... who will do my funeral rites?!" 
2. "So... one day, 30 years from now, I will turn to people I'm with and say: 'I looking just like mih mother!'"

It's been an exhausting day... in the emotional sense and not the physical sense. Yesterday, my mom learnt that a friend of hers had passed away. This friend was in the hospital as she'd had a heart-attack the weekend before and I think cancer of some kind before that. Still, it was somewhat unexpected. The woman was my mom's age. They went to secondary school together, went to university together, started working together and today I went with my mom to her funeral. Death is not something I am unfamiliar with... we've known a lot of people that have passed on... it just shakes me up a bit knowing that persons that are as old as my parents are passing away. 

It was a good funeral. My family is not one that appreciates hysterics... or wild outpourings of grief. This funeral was done according to Hindu rites... it was very calm, very prayerful... the Pundit spoke well (not all persons officiating at funerals do). He spoke of how the soul appreciates respect shown to the body for its service in this lifetime and how it is presently a good period to die (a good time of month I think... or a good month :s). My mom met a lot of persons that she knew -  ALL of whom stated that they should meet up more often and not just see each other at funerals. 

*sigh*

Came home and had lively discussions with my family. I'd like to die in October please. I have no clue really whether that's a good month or not though perhaps in some religion or other it is. I just think it would be a good time. I'm not sure if when one's soul leaves one's body it hangs around to note whether respect is being shown. I had a moment where I asked the first question above but then - I've got cousins (lots of them) and I'm sure they'll have children. I'd like to plan my own funeral. My mom would like to plan hers as well. My dad says it matters not to him. My brother says he'll do our last rites. Let's all assume that he's outliving the rest of us. Both my mom and I are concerned about what we'd be dressed in - my brother said that we were nuts. Ah well. 

It's just being prepared really.    

The four of us went out to dinner tonight in celebration of my parents' wedding anniversary and the fact that I now have an MBA. Maybe one day I'll write about why it's very awkward thinking about/celebrating my parents' anniversary but that day is not today. It just is very awkward and it was made more so (for me anyway) by our waitress telling my parents to drop us by our grandparents and have themselves a good night. Ick. Just... ick. And also, both sets of grandparents are no longer alive. The food was excellent though. The music was as well. The only downside, apart from the awkwardness that maybe I alone feel, was that my mom was in pain and such... long day = aches and pains everywhere. Sadness because I know she wants to be out and celebrating and that she feels guilty when we're all concerned about her. C'est la vie. At one point she saw herself in the mirror and commented on how much she looks like her mom... yes, this prompted my second statement above. I think she thinks of her mom often and misses her. I think that I will think of her often and miss her equally when she's gone. We do strongly resemble each other. 

It's been a long day and I'm a bit sad, a bit grumpy, a bit grateful, a bit happy. 

Happy weekend to you.

peace,

Ren

...and I'm back.

"The sense of community is indispensable… to full self-realization." ~Herbert J. Muller 

Again. I'm here to stay for a bit. 

New moon in Sagittarius with a Solar Eclipse. Time for focusing on what I want to bring into being. This of course makes me wonder exactly what I want to bring into being. I'm a bit fuzzy on that. I've been a bit raw. Emotionally frazzled. Physically tired. Mentally stressed. I want a healthier me... calm, cool, collected. Bending without breaking. I want ... peace and happiness. It's the season for it isn't it? 

I've been up to a lot lately... it's part of why I've been missing. The crazy? Work, work, work and some crazy people... some of whom I work with and some of whom need to find themselves a life... or just grow up really. 

The fun? UpMarket. I was invited by Cupcake Wench (everyone's favourite purveyor of mouthwatering cupcakes) and her hubby (I stole her description from his site) and was most happy that I attended. Am thinking perhaps I should say that my belly was very happy that I attended since that's a bit more accurate. If you're ever in Trinidad and Tobago and decide to visit UpMarket (apparently it's going to be held regularly) here's some advice: don't go when you're hungry. Seriously. I found myself paying way more attention to the yummy foodstuff than the pretty clothing/jewellery/miscellaneous stuff. In fact, I came home with cupcakes (of course), tomato chutney, Chuck Norris pepper sauce (bought from Zaaki), olive bites, cheesecake-stuffed-strawberries and a jar of hummus. *sigh* The only non-edible items were 4 scented candles (I think vanilla and lavender)... a steelpan music CD  (Caribbean Christmas by Robert Tobitt)... and a coaster for my dad made of pink poui wood. I was very impressed by the variety of stalls and the quality of merchandise/foodstuff. I'll probably be attending again at some point. 

Something else I went to because a friend asked - Hott 93's Polar Plunge (I think it was an anniversary party). It's not something I'd usually go to. I'm not a big fan of crowds. Wasn't really in the mood. It was all about support... because it was the first time my girl Shazelle was performing in Trinidad and Tobago. The event was... *meh* but her performance was awesome. Yes, I did take photos (which are still on my camera along with photos from Divali and other various activities :s). Am hopeful that there are many more songs/videos/performances to come. 

The interesting? I attended the "National Consultation on Securing and Expanding the GATE Programme". It was for work and so can possibly be included under 'the crazy' as the lead up to it was stressful and just plain crazy with people changing their minds at the last minute and such. It's a good thing I have patience. The GATE Programme has three main objectives:

• To make tertiary education affordable to all so that no citizen of Trinidad and Tobago would be denied tertiary education because of inability to pay;
• To widen access to tertiary education that would support economic development and promote social equity; and
• To build and strengthen a national quality tertiary education sector through both public and private tertiary level institutions

I found the actual Consultation to be interesting - it was the first such to be held with regards to the GATE programme which I find to be very sad, considering that the programme has been in operation since 2004, and also very heartening in that the various stakeholders involved are being asked to provide their thoughts, grievances and recommendations. Lots of relevant points made, some new things proposed... am waiting to see what will come of it. It's a step in the right direction but if it doesn't go all the way then there's not much of a point to it.  

See how much I've been up to? So much happening and so much still to happen.  It's the fun and the interesting and the crazy that makes up my days and I'm just grateful that the fun and interesting outweigh the crazy.  What's going on in your corner of the world? I'm curious ...and I hope that the good outweighs the bad. 

peace,

Ren

I fell off the planet.

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~Alfred D’Souza 

Seriously. 

I've been in this weird space of exhaustion caused by crazy work, crazy people, crazy times - it takes a while to get back up again. It's not all been bad.. just tiring. I've not written much.. no NaNoWriMo.. no 750words... I've just been avoiding being on the computer a lot. There's a lot that has happened since I last wrote though and so... 

Remember my last post? She won... as in Trinidad and Tobago's own Anya Ayoung-Chee won Project Runway... *insert excited shrieking here* or just watch this video: 

Apart from that, there's been a skills expo, T&T may be on 'the brink of a watershed moment in the history of our local media' (something that's desperately needed), I found out 5 ways in which my brain may be messing with my head, we're no longer under curfew (it's been lifted), and an asteroid passed us by. 

And that's just *some* of the stuff that's been happening. I'm sure there's so much more. 

There's a full moon in Taurus tomorrow night. End of a period. Something coming to fullness but I don't know what it is. 

I'll be writing soon. 

peace,

Ren

#PR9Anya

“Fashion anticipates, and elegance is a state of mind ... a mirror of the time in which we live, a translation of the future, and should never be static.” ~Oleg Cassini

Tonight is the finale of Project Runway (Season 9). I've been watching this show on and off for the past few years as I like the challenges that are presented and generally the creativity that comes through.. there's also a bit of 'I-wish-I-could-do-that' mixed in there. I've agreed with some of the judges' decisions for winners and disagreed on some. It's always been an interesting viewing experience.

Tonight is the finale of Season 9 and this time there are a LOT more Trinbagonians watching. Women and men from Trinidad and Tobago and the Caribbean and elsewhere around the globe are hoping that  former Ms. Trinidad and Tobago Anya Ayoung-Chee will be the winner of this season. It's a big deal for us. For me there is the normal excitement that is Project Runway as well as the pride that one of our very own is making her mark.

It's a very big deal.

She's had the most challenge wins (3) and her designs are now on Amazon.com and Piperlime.com. She's in the lead for Fan Favourite (helped along by myself and a lot of dedicated tweeters). She's handled herself with charm and grace. I had my doubts initially that she would reach this far but... here we are - tonight is the finale and I'm going to be tuned in.

#PR9Anya! Make it work ;)

peace,

Ren

Wrong side of the bed.

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." ~Benjamin Disraeli

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Nevermind the fact that there's just one side to wake up on. As an aside.. did you know that for good feng shui one's bed should have a good supporting wall behind the bed and that one should be able to approach the bed from both sides? I've been reading up on it.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I woke up in a somewhat grumpy mood... or maybe it's that I woke up earlier than expected and just lay there annoyed that I should have been sleeping. Or that it's that time of month when it feels as though my insides are being carved out with rusty pickaxes. Or that I couldn't figure out what I wanted for lunch and ended up bringing a sandwich which means that I'll have to probably get something else for lunch. Or that sometimes it feels as though I have to organise a lot of stuff in my house... not physical stuff.. just stuff.. there are times (like today) when there's a snarky voice in my head saying 'what am I? An errand runner?'

And then I feel guilty... and also I snarked at  my mom a bit (not that much [I think] cuz I know when I'm in a bad mood and try to minimize interaction)... so there was more guilt. Really, sometimes I just need to be left alone.

Then I couldn't find a radio station to settle on and the car driving in front of me was driving at 20 km/hr and there was no way to pass him. So.

I forced myself to listen to the Guru Gita... or as much of it as I could on the way to work... because my workplace can cause a bad mood all by itself - bringing one to work could result in drama of proportions I don't want/need.

Taking some time to soak in some soothing music... and read articles totally unrelated to work and instead related to creativity, names for breasts, dancing and love. 

Hope you have a good day...

peace,

Ren

Talking about Food...

"When I walk into my kitchen today, I am not alone. Whether we know it or not, none of us is. We bring fathers and mothers and kitchen tables, and every meal we have ever eaten. Food is never just food. It's also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been, and who we want to be." ~Molly Wizenberg

 

It's World Food Day today, I barely remembered. It's been a fairly busy weekend and my plan for tonight was shower followed by bedtime - was in the shower when I remembered that I'd signed up for Blog Action Day. What is Blog Action Day? It's a day when bloggers around the world blog about one important global topic on the same day. This year the theme is 'Food' as the day coincides with World Food Day, a day which focuses the world's attention on food.

I'm not even really sure what I want to write about. There are topic suggestions on the BAD page, some of which I've covered here and some of which I feel that I don't know much about so I don't know that I can  comment. Working with this list of topics though:

• My favourite food... actually this should be 'one of' my favourite foods... because I like food.
• A list of (some of) the best things I ever ate... (best food memories!)
• A bit of what food means to my culture... at least a little bit. It's so much more than I can explain in words.

I've had thoughts about the other topics... famine, hunger and poverty, malnutrition, wars over food/arable land, organic vs inorganic, I'm absolutely a vegetarian - don't see that changing... and that's lacto-ovo vegetarian to you, food waste, farming, would we be able to feed 9 billion people in 2050 (can the world survive 9 billion people?!). 

They're all topics worth thinking over and talking about. Another topic to talk about? Food prices - the theme for this year's World Food Day is 'Food Prices - From Crisis to Stability'. Did you know that between 2005 and 2008, the world's staple food prices soared to their highest levels in 30 years? Now you do. Think about it.Talk about it. 

It' s now my bedtime.

peace,

Ren

Cry if you need to...

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." ~Albert Smith

This is my advice to you.

If you're tired or in pain or sad or happy or excited or just don't know what you're feeling... cry if you need to.

Wednesday nights have recently become a major tv-watching time for my mom and I... there's The Middle, then Suburgatory and lastly America's Next Top Model. We are couch potatoes... lazy bums... slaves to the tv gods... anyway. So last night my mom sneaks away to her room after the end of The Middle... I go to find out what's up (aka check up on her)... and find her crying.

Dear cancer (and all the other pain/trauma/drama that you cause), I really dislike you.

My mom doesn't like to cry in front of us... somewhat understandable since I'm not one to cry in front of people (family/friend/acquaintance/stranger) either. Also, if she starts to cry then odds are likely that I'll start to cry as well. She said to me that she just needed to cry a bit and then she'd come back out to watch ANTM... Oh mama, I love you.

If you need to cry at any point then just do it. Forget about what other people think or how your tears may affect them... if the need to cry is great then just do it. Channel the Nike people.

It's my opinion that crying is good for the soul. Cleansing.. like the feel of the day when a thunderstorm has just passed. I'm not the only one that thinks this... being the person that I am I did research (a smidgen but it still counts) and found this article: The Healing Properties of Tears: 7 good reasons to cry your eyes out.

See? Not just one ... seven good reasons.

If you feel that you need permission, if you just can't let go, if you need to be in a safe place.. I'm saying it's ok. Permission granted. Find that space where you can just be.

Cry if you need to.

peace,

Ren

Wording it out..

A tribute, a wish and a (very mini) rant..

"We should so provide for old age that it may have no urgent wants of this world to absorb it from meditation on the next." ~Pearl S. Buck

Steve Jobs died yesterday. During his lifetime he's been described as a visionary, a genius... a pioneer in the fields of technology, innovation and design. Much of what he has conceptualised and created is in use today.. and will further be developed as the world changes. He was one of those few that can look at our world, envision something so different from the norm and then bring it into being. The news of his passing brought with it a wave of sorrow, for a life that is gone, and appreciation, for one that was well-lived. We must now strive to discover what we can contribute and in what ways we can change the world as he has.

I learnt of his death through Twitter (using the Twitter for iPhone app) and was able to share the news with my parents instantly. My dad has to admit now that there are some advantages to my constantly being on the phone. Both of my parents are older than Steve Jobs... and one of them has cancer. Whilst we know of persons that have passed on that were younger than my parents, it's always a bit of a shock... a realisation that any time may be their time. It may be that my time to die comes before theirs but somehow I think we expect that as they are older they would pass on before my brother and I. Whatever time they have left here I wish that it's filled with joy... good times... less pain, more happiness. Beauty and wonder and reverence. Easing in to a time of life where they can maybe slow down and appreciate and experience whatever they missed out on when they were younger... working hard... raising us... I would just like their lives to be filled with happy... in whatever form that takes. 

I'd like to think that other children want the same for their parents/persons-that-raised-them/elders. I'd like to think that knowing that one day we'll be in their positions would make one appreciate or at least try to understand what they're going through. It's hard to hold on to those thoughts when faced with the reality of the systems we currently have in place. Did you know that to receive a government pension you must let them (the Treasury) know that you're alive? Twice a year - April and October. As far as I know the only place one can do this is in Port-of-Spain (if anyone knows better - please share!)... Did you know that to get to the building in which one must state that one is still alive one has to manoeuvre the lack of parking space, uneven side-walk and steps into the building? Now picture an elderly person... not-sprightly at all... having to do this. Or a non-elderly but somewhat physically challenged individual. It's a bit frustrating... as is the fact that a lot of buildings, where the elderly/challenged people may have to do business, do not have the infrastructure that would allow for an easy time. It's not just physical infrastructure... it's a whole system that needs to be adjusted. 

Am hopeful for the future. There may be new inventions that may help with all sorts of things. People may realise that it's not just about the inventions but the people behind them that are important. Just like Steve Jobs, each one of us leaves behind our own legacy... made up of moments of discovery, creation and joy. Am hopeful. 

peace,

Ren

Snippets of today...

"I'm always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life." ~Miles Davis

Today I:

- prayed to the Weather Gods so that it would stop raining for the afternoon/evening

- got slept on by the kitten (cat)

- made lunch (not an unusual occurrence but my mom thought it was most yum so I'm mentioning it here)

- made a new friend

- fell into a hole, drove up skinny, winding roads and crashed into a wall... I love you Karr.. I do

- had a most deliciously delectable cupcake... mocha-something? Cupcake Wench is testing out a new flavour... Yes, I am willing to try out cupcakes... Yes, I am a willing guinea pig... Om nom nom

- explored a once-upon-a-time Cocoa Estate (photo walking ftw!)

- took photos... took photos... took photos... 

- sat in an oven. Gretel has nothing on me

- encouraged group photo-take-outing

- talked about car batteries

- had the right tools to change car batteries

- led the way off of a mountain

- tried the stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut... learnt that it's not for me

- gave thanks for my brother

- sang in the car

- got home before the curfew!

Overall awesome day :)

night all,

peace,

Ren

October 1st 2011

"I know of no realm of life that can provide more companionship in a lonely world or greater feelings of security and purpose in chaotic times than the close ties of a family." ~Charles R. Swindoll

Bare feet on cold tile. Raucous laughter. Long time no see! Tea. Conversation. Dinner? Midriff-baring colour-changing clothing. Scandalous! Hugs. Blinding camera flashes. Cake and Welch's seedless grapes. Jenga. Dominoes. Cheaters? Collaborators. Cousins. Measurements - I'll always be the short one. Card-players. Panadol. Rain? Flashes of lightning. Surprise fireworks. Family. Talk. Laugh. Kisses. Tea. Mass exodus. Home before curfew. 

 

Another Saturday night.

peace,

Ren

Return

"Now is the time to know that all that you do is sacred." ~Hafiz

I'm in  a weird mood this week it seems. This may be due to lack of sleep (I'm finding it hard to sleep)... or due to work... the time of the month... the positions of the stars. 

I'm very fuzzy around the edges. 

Theme for September's NaBloPoMo was 'Return'... right now we're at the end then tomorrow we'll be at the beginning of another month - and around and around it will go. Life is cyclical. Seasons of ourselves, of nature, of all that surrounds us. We move out and we come back in again. 

I'm both pleasantly surprised and somewhat smug that I've managed to write something for every day this month. It's somewhat tiring though... coming up with content is sometimes so easy - it flows straight through as though I'm just a conduit... then again sometimes it's not so easy and I babble much as I'm doing now. At some point I want to read what I've written over this month... just to see what comes out of it.

I'm not certain as yet that I'll continue on and do NaBloPoMo in October. 

I guess I'll figure that out tomorrow. 

Happy last-day-of September!

peace,

Ren

Feels like a Friday...

"In a sense, as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art." ~Julia Cameron

It's still Thursday.

Saw this tweet this morning: "Work. Be glad yuh have one". I'm glad I have a job - it helps me pay my bills - and today was a good work day though my back still aches and my eyes are tired. I'm beginning to think I'm more social than I thought I was. Impromptu departmental pizza lime. Good times. Ole talk. So what if the work is fairly soul-sucking? The people are interesting. 

Was impressed this evening by the amount of #PR9Anya tweets... that's support for Trinidad and Tobago's own Anya Ayoung-Chee the winner of tonight's Project Runway. She made it work. 'It' being US$11.50. Trinbagonians have skills... artistry and fashion sense. 

Not much else going on that I'm aware of... I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday. Been waiting for it since Monday. 

Night all...

peace,

Ren

Stretching and a Memory..

"Memory is a child walking along a seashore.  You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things."  ~Pierce Harris

My back is aching in an 'I've-been-spending-*way*-too-much-time-doing-desk-work' type way. I'd just like to whine a bit about it. Cuz it hurts. So.. owww. I've tried stretching and bending in the opposite direction .. this works for short periods of time but then I usually have to sit and do work again which starts the cycle all over. Oww. Have I mentioned that it's been aching since Monday? Bleh. And also, Owww. 

In the midst of walking around yesterday trying to work out the kinks in my back, a memory came to me. When I was in Primary School (and therefore this memory is from somewhere between the ages of 8 - 10) there was a metal bar that we used to swing on... sorta like half of a pair of uneven bars. I remember it being very fun, very freeing and also a bit scary. I remember getting calluses on both palms because of the friction caused by swinging on the bar. I remember both the wind in my hair and the sun on my skin. A flash of memory - I had not thought about swinging or bars or even myself at that age in quite some time.

I feel like maybe that's what I need. Stretching out by hanging from a bar. 

Where can I find a bar to swing from? 

peace,

Ren

On Bullying..

"I've been actually really very pleased to see how much awareness was raised around bullying, and how deeply it affects everyone. You know, you don't have to be the loser kid in high school to be bullied. Bullying and being picked on comes in so many different forms." ~Lady Gaga

I'm not sure how I ended up on this blogpost: 'When It Doesn't Get Better: More Bullying, Another Suicide', but I did. I'm using the Lady Gaga quote because, as the post says, 'Jamey Rodemyer loved Lady Gaga'. Jamey Rodemyer was found dead of an apparent suicide last Monday morning and was, according to what I've read, a victim of bullying. He is one of many... boys and girls that decide to end their lives because of being bullied.

I find it heart-breaking and I don't understand how people can go so far to make someone feel so bad that the person would take their own life. What kind of person does this? Where does this person come from? What sort of background do they have? And most of all... what do they get from this? Any power that is received from doing such activities is useless - negative energy that comes back around... What has happened to 'do unto others...'?

It's strange that just last week we were talking about bullying in our lunch room.. I didn't have experiences to share but a lot of people did. To the best of my knowledge I've not been bullied or have not considered myself to be (unless I've blocked it out... I should ask my parents :s) ... I don't think my brother has either. I don't consider myself to be a bully...  How does one become a bully? Or how does one get 'chosen' to be bullied?

In this age where we are so connected... this age of instant messaging and access to people and their information - bullying is changing... it doesn't have to be up close and personal anymore. Or maybe it can get too personal. This excellent article by Melissa Ford states that, 'Bullying is not only becoming more prevalent, but according to the Telegraph, in England, cyberbullying has become the most common form of bullying ("How Common is Bullying" has equally scary statistics for the United States).'

We all need to look at ourselves and ask what we can do to make this better. Bullying affects us whether we experience it first hand or not.. whether we are the bully or the one being bullied. We need to educate ourselves and if we are in a situation, then whether we feel like it or not, we should get help. Seriously, get help. There is always someone that cares.

Education.com has a selection of articles on the topic, including these which I thought particularly helpful:

• What Happens Over Time To Those Who Bully And Those Who Are Victimized?

• What is Bullying and How Does It Differ in Boys and Girls?

• Some Myths and Facts about Bullies and Victims

peace,

Ren

Edited to add:

I arrived home at 5 pm... whilst waiting for my brother to open the gate for me I heard on the news that two children had to be taken to hospital after being beaten by one of their classmates. :s I really wonder what the world is coming to.

It's the beginning of Banned Books Week in the USA...

"A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy."  ~Edward P. Morgan

Banned Books Week is held during the last week in September and celebrates the freedom to read. According to the American Library Association, it 'highlights the benefits of free and open access to information while drawing attention to the harms of censorship by spotlighting actual or attempted banning of books across the United States'. I don't know if there are any banned books in Trinidad and Tobago... if there are then I'm really not aware... I can't wrap my head around the idea of persons banning books though now that I'm thinking about it I can understand that persons may want to limit the thoughts and ideas that reading books can encourage. 

DailyLit - that very awesome website (that delivers books right into your in-box in convenient small messages that take less than 5 minutes to read) - has a category for popular banned books... Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, The Scarlet Letter and Wuthering Heights have all been banned once upon a time.  The Bible and works by Shakespeare have been banned. I'm very glad this is no longer so... I'd recommend any of the above as excellent reads. 

Free your Mind. Read a book. Read a banned book.

I am of the view that each person should be allowed complete access to information from which they can then make their own choices... If you don't agree with me - I'd like to know why...

peace,

Ren