The Unknown

"Face new challenges, seize new opportunities, test your resources against the unknown and in the process, discover your own unique potential." ~John Amatt

Something that's been coming up a lot in conversations and thoughts I've been having recently: how people face the unknown. What is the unknown? It's anything that is beyond our range of experiences, our knowledge and understanding. 

How do you face it? Where does this apply to you?

I've bought my tickets and will be going to Florida in October and Costa Rica in November. I'm having moments of 'what am I doing?! where am I going?! what will happen after?!' It's a leap of faith... believing that all will be well, that I'll be guided, that what will be - will be for the good. It's excitement and anxiety and butterflies. It's letting go of what no longer works for me and creating the space for something better.

Earlier I was thinking of what I wanted to write about and then I decided to look at television instead. Diners, Drive-ins and Dives was on and Guy was checking out Irazu - a place in Chicago that serves Costa Rican food. I think that when you step into the unknown with a positive attitude you are graced with little moments of serendipity. 

Some of my girl friends are having relationship issues. There are so many relationship issues one can have and I think that females (yes, I include myself here) over think each and every thing. I'm sure guys have their own ways of working through stuff but women over think. Head over heart because sometimes if you just go with the heart you can really get messed up. It's about finding a balance I think and really just figuring out what works and doesn't work, what makes one happy and what doesn't. 

I think facing the unknown is something that can be scary but that can allow us to evolve into a better version of ourselves. What do you think world?

peace,

Ren

p.s. all this thinking about the Unknown and my mind keeps circling around to the Unown... 

Boy-Girl Issues.

Man-Woman Issues?

At what age do we stop referring to ourselves as a boy/girl? 

Hmm. Anyway. 

Went to see Star Trek Into Darkness with the cute guy and his friends. If you are a Star Trek fan or an action fan or just want to enjoy a good movie I'd recommend it. The story was solid, the visuals were amazing, the soundtrack was excellent. There was one main thing that stood out that I was unimpressed by (and it's not just me!) but... overall good movie. 

Was grumpy with the cute guy and am sorry for it. I think the previous days of blogging has let the world know it's that time of month... Moody. I am moody. 

Was fine except that the movie was at 1:15 p.m. - this meant no lunch... cuz with getting stuff at home organised and then getting self ready and then heading to movie theatre... there was no time. We bought cold pastries from a grocery (cheese croissant for me, sausage roll for him)... they were cold. We bought popcorn to eat during movie. All foodstuffs were eaten about a half hour into movie watching. It was a long movie (210 minutes for the IMAX version). I was starving at the end. 

I really like food. I've blogged about it a lot here, even going so far as to list some of my favourites. There's more to be added to that list as I keep finding dishes that I love. The issue I have with food is that when I get hungry... I get *hungry*... full on headache, nausea, general weakness. I can be very scary when hungry (or so I've been told).

After a long movie and no lunch you can imagine that I was ready to eat... anything. The world maybe. Food. Grr. Except that we'd gone with cute guy's friends... and they take forever to make up their minds (this is actually not much different from my own girl people). What is it with people not being able to decide where/when to eat? Meh.

I was grumpy with the cute guy when I really shouldn't have been. I should have eaten before, especially since I know just how bad it can get. I should have remembered that my girl people like ole talking and often have a hard time figuring out where to go. I should have just said I really wasn't up for waiting around and that food was needed as soon as possible. 

Instead, I got grumpy cuz the cute guy is not psychic. Though I do think he should have picked up on my grumpiness... Hmm. 

I got food but that didn't end the overall feelings of grumpy irritability. 

Ah well.

Communication. I'm not so great at it. Still working on it. Need to take better care of myself and my relationships. 

peace,

Ren

Moving on...

Today, one of my oldest girl friends called to tell me that she'd dreamt my mom. We've been friends since we were seven, were told that we looked alike, have a lot of similar likes and dislikes and went to three different schools together. Since leaving school though, we haven't been in each other's company as often. Life has a way of carrying you along its own paths. We're still close though and no matter how many days or months or years pass between our meetings we always pick up just as we left off.

The morning after my mom passed I messaged her - she came over to my house with bagel, eggs and coffee (blessed coffee!) and stayed for a good portion of the day helping me figure out funeral stuff and the basics of what one does when a member of one's family passes away. She was there behind-the-scenes for the wake and the funeral and is still checking up on me. I am grateful for her being there.

She told me today that she'd dreamt my mom last night ... that in her dream my mom was happy and smiling and told her to tell me that she would always be with me. My brain was too fuzzed by that to ask for further details of her dream. I wish I remembered my dreams... after many times of complaining to my brother that I don't dream he told me that I did - I just didn't remember them. I don't think I've dreamt my mom though.

I do know that I think about her all the time.

Today was the final rites... after today, my brother will be doing offerings/prayer every day for a year, then we'll do a major one-year prayers and then that would cover all the requirements of Hindu funeral rites - as far as I know. After the rites today, it is believed that the soul begins its journey onwards... it is believed that from the time of death till today's rites the soul would have hung around on this earthly plane but that after today's rites it would journey onward. 

I know that whatever space she's in, she's free - of whatever trappings exist in our world. I can be happy about this... but, I still miss her presence. 

It's time though to start thinking of how to live without her physical presence... how to be connected to the essence of her. How to carry her with me throughout my life... to figure out what I want to do with my life. 

Time to start the process of moving on. 

I'm not sure yet that I want to.

peace,

Ren

Gearing up for a girl night...

Lime with the girl people tonight and it is much needed. I feel tired and somewhat low on energy. It's been a long week with rather tedious work that I realise is in no way fulfilling. There have been moments where I've realised that both parents are older... less vital in a way that they have never been before. I think both work and family life need a boost of positive energy at the moment.

Sometimes the perfect thing to recharge one's batteries is a night spent with people that you've known for ages doing silly stuff and eating comfort food (cheesecake - I've heard that there will be cheesecake!).

Happy Friday all.

peace,

Ren

In one word: moody

"There is nothing of which we are more ashamed than of not being ourselves. And there is nothing which brings us greater joy and happiness than to think, feel, and say what is ours." ~Erich Fromm

This isn't exactly a negative I think. I'm just having a variety of experiences and my moods are a reflection of them. 

The mother is home. Since I last wrote (a mere week ago) she's had five sessions of radiation. She stayed at the St. James Medical Complex simply because she was in a lot of pain -  was just easier as there was less moving around for her and people to take care of her that knew what they were doing. 

My family is managing but I don't always think we know what we're doing. Sometimes, you just have to wing it. 

I've been sad and tired and trying to be hopeful and such. I got mad because of the extended family - the aunts and uncles who are the siblings of my mother. I know they're concerned... I'm just annoyed that now is when they choose to show it. One does not need extra drama when one already has to deal with stuff at home. I'm also somewhat mad that they appear to be fairly clueless... mom has had cancer since I was 13 - I'm almost 30 (and maybe I can do my own mini-movie of 13 going on 30?)... this is not the worst it has been - why freak out about it now and wonder if we need help now? *grump* There's also a part of me that thinks I'm overreacting about that but... oh well.

I've been grateful... for the brother and the girl ppl and the cute guy. I only realise my age when I look at my brother and see how grown up/mature he is. An adult... my baby brother is an adult... and sometimes (sometimes - not all the time) and in some ways better at being an adult than I am. Whoa.

The girl ppl are awesome... I've been mostly in touch with them via text and email recently (I'm not much for phone-talking). Our emails are full of ole-talk and discussion and snippets of advice and somewhat bawdy jokes. They keep me sane... I think it's somewhat important for persons to have a support system of ppl that know just about all that's important to know (and some that's not important) about each other. 

The cute guy... oy. Cute - in personality and in looks. He's very fun to be around. He's very interesting. He seems to find me interesting. He has me thinking of all sorts of things that I've never really thought of or thought I'd want to think about. Oy.

Moody - that's what I am... in a sad/happy/grumpy/excited/mellow way...

I'm happy that it's Friday.

Happy Weekend to you.

peace,
Ren

Interesting Reads/Stuff I've been reading:

"Innovation is fostered by information gathered from new connections; from insights gained by journeys into other disciplines or places; from active, collegial networks and fluid, open boundaries. Innovation arises form ongoing circles of exchange, where information is not just accumulated or stored, but created. Knowledge is generated anew from connections that weren’t there before." ~Margaret J. Wheatley

One thing people should know about me is that I like reading any and everything. Another thing people should know? I'm online a lot... and there's just so much stuff to read online. I figured I'd share some of what I've been reading... feel free to share your thoughts. 

• The Neuroscience of Effort -  'At any given moment there's a tug of war unfolding in our head, determining whether or not we're willing to put in the effort' - work? play? I do think it's much easier to do what we want to do... it's something I've been thinking about recently... doing what we want to do versus doing what we have to do. What makes us do what we have to? This doesn't explain it but helps to understand how one chooses to do or not do. 
• A Message To Girls About Religious Men Who Fear You - This is one of the most powerful messages I've read recently. Perhaps because I'm female? The links contained within are heartbreaking... the message itself? Empowering. 'If you were not powerful, they would not take you so seriously and they take you very, very seriously. You should, too. You can set the world on fire'. Yes. That is all. 
• The Mysteries of Love and How to Decode Them - When people talk about 'love' - what are they referring to? I think I manage well with love between friends (they are my people)... and family (blood... blood is thicker than water? my family is extremely important to me) and I generally have good vibes towards the world at large. There's now the cute guy though... I've been thinking thoughts I haven't thought before and rereading stuff I've written before (this, and this, and even this) and somewhat freaking myself out in the process. Um. Heh.
• The Oatmeal's Tesla comic, the criticism of the Oatmeal's Tesla comic and the response to that criticism - I found it educational... and amusing... and I'm a bit of a Tesla fan myself.  Lol...
• Recent sky changes - 'Work with your imagination and your creative muse. Explore new things. Take on an artistic and creative project. Simply put apply creativity to anything you are working to get into form'. The sun has moved into Gemini. There's a new moon in Gemini. There was a solar eclipse. It's a time for opening up oneself to one's creativity and whatever ideas the mind comes up with. Breathe. Have fun.

Share some stuff with me? 

:)

peace,

Ren

Emotion.

"If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds most grow." ~Rachel Carson

I've told myself that I'll try to be in a positive frame of mind this week leading up to the birthday. Can one manage one's feelings in that way? I think so. Been struggling today with overall grumpiness brought on by crazy people... actually just people. Sometimes I just don't like being around people. 

Sometimes I do. Had lunch today with one of the girl people. Talked about life and parents and work and guys. Much laughing and serious talk and possibilities. I've said that they keep me sane. It's just very true. 

Ups and downs today. Am just trying to be aware of how I'm feeling and how my moods affect me. 

Happy Wednesday all... 

peace,

Ren

A lot of random talk about muffins.

"I believe the world to be a muffin pan, and there certainly are a lot of muffins here." ~Aaron Funk

I've got muffins on my mind today and since my last few posts have been serious or gloomy I thought I'd do a random post. About muffins. Because muffins rule.

Once upon a time, way back when I was an undergrad, my girl group and I had to do a marketing project. We chose to do it on Kiss Muffins... and then had to do a lot of research and running around to find out information about muffins and Kiss Muffins. Whilst doing research we stumbled across this awesome site by Amy Winfrey and admittedly wasted a bit of time laughing at the various muffin films that she had (there were only 12 then... so pleased to see another 6!).  Some of the running around we did? We chased after a Kiss truck... three girls in a tiny car chasing after a Kiss truck... I'm not sure what the driver thought but he didn't have what we wanted anyway (posters - we wanted posters). These are the events that memories are made of. We eventually pulled together a fabulous presentation (complete with Muffin Man) and got a good grade as well.

Some time before that, I became obsessed with carrot muffins as I've said in this previous post. I find it interesting that I love carrot in both muffins and cake but don't really like it otherwise. Too many years of being told to eat carrots I guess. 

Recently I learnt that the cute guy doesn't like muffins with fruit. Ergh. He shall miss out on all the goodness that is any kind of berry muffin... or apple cinnamon? or banana nut? Ergh? On the other hand... this means more for me... Hmm... :)

Today I logged in to blogger with the intention of randomly talking about muffins... and there, in my blogs that I read list, was this post (savory muffins with sweet potato and feta) from A Veggie Venture... synchronicity... I love it.

Go out and have a muffin people... they're awesome.

peace,

Ren

Sometimes...

"If women ruled the world and we all got massages, there would be no war." ~Carrie Snow 

Sometimes I think that Carrie Snow is on to something. The world would be better if ruled by women... and if we all got massages (I'm currently in desperate need of a good massage *sigh*).

Spent the weekend with some fabulous women... my girl group on Saturday - there was a beach house birthday lime at Manzanilla... total driving time (there and back with stops for people, food, snacks and gas) = a little bit more than 5 hours. Car discussions included: makeup, guys, directions, sleep attire, breasts, food, work, music and relationships. We played on the beach... there was a lot of laughing and running around and wild, crazy beach hair. Sometimes I forget that I need to be around them to balance myself - am always reminded when we spend time together. 

Spent Sunday evening with my mom and her girl group (I think we're both lucky that we have such awesome girl groups!). It was far less giggly and far more introspective. Older, wiser women. Perhaps this is what we'll be like as we get older. 

Sometimes I wonder at the relationships that guys have... do they have the same level of comfort with their friends? Can they share as we do? Talk it out, work it out, hug it out, bitch it out. Do guys do that? And... if they don't... what do they do? How do they manage with all the drama that can be a regular life? 

Sometimes I get very bogged down with the world - today there was a meeting where things were hinted at but not said... I wish people would just grow up ... today someone took offence because I couldn't pull up a smile and bother with conversation (mostly because it was such a grump-inducing day). 

Days like today I'm very grateful for the females I know... and I definitely think that Carrie Snow is right  - there'd be no war if the world was ruled by women... and everyone got massages... and also, I think, if everyone got their favourite dessert...

give thanks for your nearest and dearest...

peace,

Ren

My 'plus one'...

"... this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, it's time to embrace new ideas about romance and family - and to acknowledge the end of 'traditional' marriage as society's highest ideal." ~Kate Bolick

It's that time of year when there are dinners or lunches or some sort of event held to celebrate something (whether it be Christmas or something else that's being celebrated). Our office is having a 'Christmas Luncheon' and as is customary for these events we can bring along a guest. This is great for married people... or for people with significant others. Apparently it's not great for single people? I'm not exactly sure? I'm perfectly happy going to places/events by myself and, if I really wanted to go with someone, then I can call on my brother or any of my cousins (male or female) or even my girl people (that group of girls closest to my heart) - all of whom would be happy to go along with me if only to keep me company... all of whom would keep me entertained.  

Shoeaholic asked who'd be my 'plus one'. I said noone... then I said if I had to bring someone (which I don't) I'd ask my brother. She thought that was sad. I was thoroughly confused. I'm single after all. Am I supposed to hunt up someone to carry? And why?

I read this excellent article recently: 'All the Single Ladies'. It discusses the changing concept of marriage, changing family structures, gender parity, a 'crisis in gender', 'dating gaps', and a lot of theories and ideas about the male-female relationship and how that's changing. It's very thought-provoking... and resonates a lot with what I think about relationships and how they can be.  

I'm lucky I think in that I have strong relationships with both family and friends. I don't see the need at this time to hook up with some random guy... and I haven't really met any guy in recent times that I'd like to hook up with or partner with, or have a long-term relationship with. Maybe it's that I'm not allowing myself to or that I'm just not out and about meeting guys - whatever it is... I think I'm good at the moment. What will be will be. In the meantime I have any of a number of persons to choose from to act as a 'plus one' and if I didn't... I'm comfortable in my own company.

peace,

Ren

I don't understand the concept of 'boredom' anymore...

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." ~Ellen Parr 

I haven't really used the term for years in fact (ah to be a teenager...). It just doesn't apply... and I find myself puzzled by people that are bored or complain that they 'have nothing to do'. Really? Nothing?? Wow. Perhaps it's only me that's got so much to do? Except that on some days I do hardly anything at all. It's a puzzle.  

I wonder about the lives that people have - much different from mine? Similar? Am just very curious as to what people do and when they do it. Over the past week apart from working and being at home (doing home stuff) I've experienced the following:

• Defeat - at the hands of a 12/13 year old. I'd just like to say that once upon a time I had the skills to defeat other players - because Chun Li and Cami were my girls from Street Fighter whilst Kitana, Sindel and Sonya Blade were my girls from Mortal Kombat and therefore I ruled. Not having played in years has affected my skills though... *sigh*
• Lots of ole-talking - on different days, because I've got lots of cousins of varying ages and there's always something going on. 

• Lunch with a new friend and an old one... with conversation topics such as 'sparky thing vs. sparkly things'.

• Movies with my mom - sappy, romantic mush that I can't remember the names of but do remember that I thought they were good... hmm...

• Tried to find space for a stack of books in my room... it's current location is on my bed... I need more shelf space...  

• Took part in a photowalk around part of the Queen's Park Savannah - met new people, got some exercise, took lots of photos :) 

•  After-work lime with a newly-wedded girlfriend - taught her how to read instructions and how to install batteries in various house stuff. Listened to tales of newly-wedded bliss. Somewhat horrified that marriage is starting to sound appealing.

• Read books... not those in the stack pictured here... from another stack. Ergh... need more shelf space...

• Entertained the kitten... cuz he is apparently my chile... who follows me around and has a particular cry that I can't tune out. Evolution thou art a heartless thing. 

• Tried to out-manoeuvre the Cancer Bus... went with my mom to St. James hospital today for checkup/blood test/x-rays... got stuck in traffic *behind* the Cancer Bus. We always try to reach the hospital before the Cancer Bus cuz then we get through quicker... luckily, though we didn't make it before the Bus, we did get through fairly quickly. 

I've got no time to be bored really. Too many things to do/see/talk about/take part in. Life is an adventure... while I'm not particularly adventurous I do try to make the most of it :)

peace,

Ren

Father's Day... Wedding Day... Holiday... Solstice...

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." ~Annie Dillard

It's Tuesday, day after the holiday, and apparently I look very tired-out. I need a weekend to recover/recharge from my weekend! Whilst very hectic and whilst now I do feel the need for sleep it was most wonderful in a fulfilling-life kind of way.

Father's Day was this Sunday... my dad is... indescribable. He drives me crazy. CRAZY. I love him dearly. We are most alike in nature (my mom says this all the time - she doesn't alway mean it in a good way). He's taught me a lot. I've recently come to realise that I have a lot of relationship issues because of my dad... both good and bad of course... for example, I'd really appreciate (re: expect) my partner to have skills of a practical handy-man nature - if I can use/operate basic tools (hammer, screwdriver, drilling machine etc) then you should be able to as well... I also have major trust issues in relationships which started off because of my dad. Ah well.

All week leading up to Father's Day he kept telling me that Sunday was Father's Day... which was of no help since I am able to read a calendar but not able to mind-read what he wanted for Father's Day... I got him a gift... he somewhat liked it... made lunch, told him he was skilled and I appreciate him as my dad. Then we went our separate ways... me to Wedding, him to Redbull Flugtag designing.   

Wedding (not mine) was most epic. Bride was stunning, groom was close-to-stunning (lol), wedding speech (written by moi & another girlfriend, presented by two other girlfriends) was well-received, food was good, after-wedding-party was excellent (dance, dance, baby!). All around good times were had on Sunday night. Best wishes, much love, continued happiness to my girl and her new hubby... I hope that all now you are thoroughly enjoying your honeymoon.

Monday was the day I wanted sleep - thankfully it was a holiday... in a half-daze I made lunch... then went up to Mount St. Benedict with my mom and brother and group. It's a beautiful place... quiet... a place where one can sense the stillness. We had a most delicious afternoon tea at the Pax Guesthouse and then spent a rather long time ole-talking on their verandah. As I type this I realise that I have a lot of photos to put up on the Flickr photostream...

Today is Tuesday, day after the holiday, longest day of the year, first day of summer (if there is summer in your country). It occurs to me that in some part of the world it may be the beginning of winter? I'm not sure and am feeling fuzzy today so there is no research to be done at the moment. If you want ideas to celebrate today though some can be found here.

peace & happy Tuesday to you,

Ren

In celebration of shopping, peace and girlfriends...

"Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy." ~Rabbi Abraham Heschel

I've had a busy-ish weekend... am fairly sleepy and sluggish today (more so than usual for a Monday)... My weekend was entertaining, informative and fairly happy and so thought I'd share some of it with you...

I went shopping with my mom on Saturday... not just any shopping... Swimsuit Shopping. Regular readers of this blog are aware that my mom is a cancer survivor... she hasn't worn a swimsuit in forever because we've just never been bothered to look for swimsuits made for persons with mastectomies. We're going to Tobago however. Soon. And so, a swimsuit is needed. It occurs to me that I'm airing all my mom's business here but I don't think she'll mind (I hope she doesn't mind)... We'd been considering shopping online for such swimsuits when, as luck would have it, I saw an ad in the papers. East meets West has swimsuits - even the kind that we're looking for. In fact, they've got a pretty nice selection of styles/colours of the kind that we were looking for. Happiness = shopping = actually getting what you're out shopping for. I'm very pleased with them and their customer service. I'm even more pleased that we got a swimsuit as my mom told me after that she hadn't actually expected to find one! Low expectations mom. Tsk tsk.

After our shopping trip I kidnapped my mom. She would not think this was so (or she wouldn't admit it). As the driver though one gets to choose where one wants to go and I'd been wanting to attend the Trinidad and Tobago World Peace Festival since I first saw the event online. According to the website:

"The Trinidad and Tobago World Peace Festival (TTWPF) is a festival designed to promote peace, spiritual consciousness, social, environmental and spiritual activism, and awareness. It is also intended to provide a way to educate the general public on what organizations and businesses are already present within our local communities that support peace and peaceful living." 

It was most excellent (my mom thought so as well)! There were booths and presentations, information and demonstrations, a kids section (I stumbled across a puppet show in action) and food (food is important - must mention food.. lol). My congratulations to Bliss Yoga, Trinidad for hosting an exceptional event... I'm hopeful that it'll become a yearly something. I took photos, had sushi (well a roll really.. it's not sushi if there's no fish...), saw a dance, learnt about parenting and safe sex, saw some amazing art and met up with a friend.

Later in the evening was my girl friend's bridal shower... the private one... where it was just us girls being somewhat scandalous. I admit to being slightly afraid myself for my own bridal shower if that time ever comes... I've helped to plan two private showers... hmmm. It was fun... and scandalous... and yet also educational... and the bride-to-be had a good time :) I'm afraid that's all I can say about it as what happens at the bridal shower stays at the bridal shower... lol. 

I'm headachy and sluggish today but overall I'm thankful... for my mama, for people that would put together and host events such as the Trinidad and Tobago World Peace Festival and for my girlfriends who are a fabulous bunch of female people. 

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.

peace,

Ren 

An After-Valentine's-Day post...

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." ~Elizabeth Browning

It's the day after Valentine's day. How was yours? Everything you thought it would be? Everything you wanted to avoid? I think a lot of people tend to focus on valentine's as a romantic occasion - a between-me-and-my-lover type of occasion... and in fact, I have found myself focusing on that aspect (or rather the total lack of that aspect).

When I reflect on it today though I wish that aspect wasn't the only one that is [forced] into our consciousness... I had a good day yesterday... I had ole-talk and laughs with my family, cake [and cheesecake - what? it was *Valentine's Day*] with a girlfriend, and ended it all by going to see Black Swan (a most excellent yet somewhat creepy movie) with a couple of my long-time girl-ppl [and one new one]... I got chocolates from a work-colleague... a rose from my girl-ppl... and makeup from my brother's girlfriend [my brother says I should be offended in a 'what exactly are you trying to hint at by giving me makeup Zar?' type of way - doesn't he realise I'm just happy to get gifts? pfft].

It was overall a really good day and so... that's all I'm saying. I didn't know what to write really about V-day... there is a lot of stuff out there already...  and so here's what I've found:

♥ Two great personal Trini blog posts (one by a girlfriend of mine, one by a blogger I've recently started following):

• Ahhhh Valentines again!
• Too Much Of Anything Is Too Much: Relationships

♥ Tips for making peace with Valentine's Day

♥ The Single Girl's Valentine's Day - Ideas (from Cosmpolitan!)

♥ Dr. Eva Selhub's "The Love Response" page - In 2009, I attended her workshop at Kripalu - it was all about using love to heal yourself and others and is, in my opinion, an interesting concept.

Hope you all had a good day and if you didn't then I hope you have a new view on V-day...

much love to u,

Ren

I've been on the road lately...

"The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time, it is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else – we are the busiest people in the world." ~Eric Hoffer

Of course... I am a travelling officer so I guess that's somewhat expected. It's also an explanation as to why I haven't really written anything in the past week. As I was driving home today though I thought that I should at least summarise my thoughts/events and so, here is this post:

• it's a New Year all over again :) The Chinese New Year began on February 3rd. It's the Year of the [Metal] Rabbit ppl :) According to Tarot.com - 'This will come as a relief following the tremendous highs and lows brought during 2010, which was ruled by the fierce Tiger. The Rabbit's peaceful nature combines with the noble, protective Metal element to usher in a gentle phase governed by diplomacy. Compromise will yield more impressive results than threats.' I like that there's another new year - this way anything that I haven't started sorting out I can refocus on.
• one of my girl-people turned 29... as in Twenty-Nine years of age... when did we get so old??? it doesn't seem like we're old  - apart from generally having more experiences and insights I don't think that much has changed. We went out to dinner on Saturday night - been a while since we did a girl's night but what with life & work & family it's hard to get together. Spent the night together ole-talking... life and love and almost-a-mommy / almost-a-wife / it's-so-hard-to-find-a-man discussions... good times - I fully encourage liming with your people (whoever they may be - so long as you are comfortable and trust them to be comfortable with you).
• attended the Launch of National Registry of Artists and Cultural Workers and the 2nd Symposium “Towards a Multiculturalism Policy”: A focus on the Creative Arts. It was for work - and was most interesting. For too long I think that T&T has been focused on the academics when it is plain to see that we are a creative people. I look forward to the development of the creative arts sector - and to there being space to move/dance/be freely.
• Chemo-Tuesday (for my mom) ... one more to go we hope... she's managing though it hurts my heart to not be able to help more. I realise though that I'm perhaps not taking-care-of-people-inclined... what this means is that of course I'm sorry for my mama... and I want to help ease her up in any way... but those ways don't automatically come to me... so. Meh.... doing the best I can - hoping for the best.
• had to work the 3rd day-2nd shift in the trade show that was part of the Trinidad and Tobago Energy Conference 2011 - another interesting event though I didn't see much as was working. Will have to follow up via media.
• drove here-there-and-everywhere or at least much more than I usually do... It's fun. My car is to me what other people's showers are to them - a place where one can sing-along and generally have a good time... lol... have also realised that the good travelling karma is still with me - have not had much traffic woes at all - yay!
• have become mildly addicted to Echo Bazaar - I can't even begin to describe how fabulous and interesting it is so you can read about it here or here or just go check it out yourself.

 And so - this is what I've been doing. Busy? Maybe... Kinda... It seems so (to me at least)... 

Night,

Ren

'Connected in spirit, bound by love' ~ part of a prayer from my mama.

"In nature we never see anything isolated, but everything in connection with something else which is before it, beside it, under it and over it." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I often have a lot of different thoughts that I'd like to post about. The ones that get posted are usually what's at the forefront of my mind or something I've been stewing on and so, whilst I do want to write about travelling and how fun it is, this post is about soul groups.

Don't know how many persons have heard the term. Or believe in it. Or are open to considering the idea of it. I believe in the idea though - that persons (or souls) reincarnate together in groups to help each other along - learn lessons, grow, etc.

It is said by various authors (first really saw it in the Celestine Prophecy) that the family we come with, the friends we are close to and persons that we are drawn to make up the groups that we belong to. We are all connected. Am currently in the process of organising a birthday lime for one of the members of my girl group - I've always found myself in girl groups - there aren't that many guys I'm connected to. So we'll go somewhere, spend time together and talk about life and relationships and etc.

Last night my mom had her mostly-girl group over - all people around her age (some older some younger) - they talk about spirituality and growth, about setting and fulfilling intentions and generally about being better people and contributing to the world - I think my brother and I are pretty lucky to be counted as members in that group (he's one of two guys in it). We're lucky I think cuz while I'd like to have persons my own age that I can talk such stuff with - I don't know how ready my own girl group is for that... friends my age that can speak of it are far away - email and msgs aren't as great as in-person convos.

I guess in time we'll get there. Or I'll find that group that's willing and able to discuss such topics. In the meantime, I'm enjoying what groups I have - the family and friends that are my support - whether they know it or not.

Have you found your group? Are you a member of a group without realising it? Whatever position you find yourself in - ultimately I think we all need to remember the simple fact: we are all connected - there's always someone there - you just have to be open and allow for communication to happen.

peace,

Ren

My girl ppl...

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."  ~Lois Wyse

Already I have missed a day... ah well. I went out with some of my girl ppl last night. I am fortunate I think that I have such strong friendships... All my life at some point or the other I always make girl friends... In any endeavour I undertake I must remember that I shall never be alone because at some point I will make a girl friend. 

The group I went out with is perhaps my longest lasting group... I did my Bachelor's with them... and so I've known them since 2001. There are girls I'm friends with... best friends from when I was little... There are girls I am now becoming friends with... This group however is the longest lasting group that has stayed together.

I don't know if they realise how much they keep me sane... In a world of crazy people and circumstances I know I can count on them to have my back. To tell me when I'm messing up or when I'm being fabulous. We laugh and cry, gossip and shop, support each other through relationships and breakups, have dessert at odd moments. 

I don't know if guys have the same kind of relationships that girls do... If they don't then these friendships I have make me so very glad to be female. 

I ♥ u my girl ppl... last night totally rocked... even if we did have trouble figuring out left and right... the play was good... the pic-taking was fun... yay us!

peace,

Rtr