Almost a new year...

"Sit, be still and listen, because you're drunk and we're at the edge of the roof." ~Rumi

Today is the last day of 2013 and I couldn't let it go without returning here. I have sat down to write many times over the last two weeks but could not quite figure out what I wanted to say. Those posts will have to be written in the new year - reflections of past moments. Today I reflect on this year and years that have gone before. I am quietly contemplative; I suspect that all of us feel this way to some extent. 

This has been a year of change. As I look back, I can somewhat neatly block it off into thirds. During the first three months my mom was on a decline - my time was split between taking care of her and work and life as it is. I think we all knew that it would be her time soon and then she passed away on April 3rd. I blogged every day of that month and I feel that it helped clear my mind and ease my heart. At the end of April I had my 30th birthday. This is still a wonder to me... how have I gotten to be 30 years old? Where has the time gone? 

The second third of the year (May - August) was a time of processing. Raw feelings and figuring out the pieces of my life. At the beginning of August I made a decision - perhaps it was a decision that should have been made many months or years ago but everything has its time and I'm glad that the time came for it. The last third of the year was spent putting plans into motion and setting off on adventures. I quit my job, went travelling with the cute guy and got certified as a Nosara Yoga teacher. 

This last month has been a time of contemplation, questioning, inquiry. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Who am I? The cute guy and I are making business plans - I wonder how these would affect our current relationship. For the first time in... ever, I have been thinking about long term career/business goals. I'm planning and thinking that a new moon at the beginning of a New Year is an awesome thing. 

We're coming down to the last half hour of 2013 (here in Trinidad and Tobago). I'm off to meditate... There's been a lot of me-time this year and it's something that I hope to carry into the new year.

Some links that I've loved lately:

• The Best of Brain Pickings 2013 by Maria Popova
• A Revolution in Resolutions: Six steps to calling your deepest desires into life by Marylee Fairbanks
• 2014 New Years' blessings from religious leaders 

And this, because I find it appropriate: 

Wishing you all that you dream of and more...

peace,

Ren

Things I find when cleaning my room... (warning: long post ahead... with pics!)

I've not been at work for two weeks now and am heading into the third (and final) week away. I'm not quite sure what I've been doing these two weeks but my days have been full and though I'm tired, I'm not *tired* in the way that I am when at work. One of my co-workers messaged me - said to make sure to do 'something fun' before going back into work. I don't know what would apply. 

We're heading into a new moon in Cancer - a time for nurturing whatever we have going on in our lives. I've got some thoughts, a list that I may put up here, of things that I'd like to come to fruition. In the meantime, I woke up yesterday morning and decided to try cleaning out some of my room. 

Total Room Domination will be mine!

It takes *forever* though... partly because I get distracted by stuff that I find. It's even worse now that I'm on twitter because I feel compelled to share with people. This post is in fact inspired by that sharing - +Tracey Chan, in response to one of my tweets, requested that I do a post about my finds. This then is: things I find when cleaning my room! 

Flower girl dress

I incorrectly tweeted that this was my first bridesmaid's dress. It wasn't - I was a flower girl. Forgive me +Tracey Chan, I was little... 3? 4? 5? Young. I do remember that I had a headband with flowers. I think I'd like to get another. Flower headbands are cool.

Brochure & Postcard

Found this as I was going through a box of stuff collected during my travels in 2009. I have a weakness for dolls... especially fashionably dressed ones (though I won't know what fashion they're dressed in). If I collected stuff, I think I'd collect different dolls. In 2009, Ventfort Hall hosted an exhibition called: 'Les Petites Dames de Mode' (The little ladies of fashion). It was most beautiful, well crafted and, I believe, is still running if anyone wants to go see it. 

Vial of bubble liquid and one fake eyelash

This photo was the one that inspired this post. I was going through my purses and handbags and found in this one purple purse: a vial of bubble liquid and a fake eyelash. They've been there since 2011 - this is the purse I used for my cousin's wedding. It was also the first time I wore fake eyelashes. I'm not a fan of them at all. Apparently I'm also not great at emptying my bags. Oops?

Mystery watch

I found this watch on my dressing table. I have no idea where it came from. Once upon a time I had one like it but it was pink and pretty and I was much younger, another time I had a slim female version of this and another time I had a Citizen watch that my parents bought. My latest watch has not been worn in... maybe more than a year or two? I have a phone that tells the time. I don't know where this watch came from.

Randoms

I opened a box that has my collection of bindhis and found these. They're random stuff collected in 2010 I think. The dragon buttons were bought cuz they reminded me of both my brother (he's a Dragon and collects dragon stuff) and Puff the Magic Dragon. The corset charm cuz I think it's awesome. I'm not sure where I got the Scratchy coin thing but I kept it because... poor Scratchy. 

Dust :(

A lot of dust. Layers of dust. Dust, dust, dust. I'm still sneezing. Ergh. 

Heart, heart, heart...

A heart collection. Hmm? I did not quite realise that I had so many heart shaped things. The one with my name on it was given to me by my mom - she made a bunch of them for her friends for Christmas in 1997. 

A card from my family that's been wishing me rainbows since my 8th birthday. 

 

This. I don't even know what to call it so I'm just going to refer to it as 'Oink Oink'. It was given to me by a relative who had come home to visit (person lives in foreign). I can't remember what age I was when I got it but I was old enough to wonder why this was the gift. It's the thought that counts? The piglets move when you open it - as though they're nursing. My brother got one that was called 'Pocket Soccer' - it opened up to reveal guys on a soccer (football) field playing soccer (football). 

A troll, not one of those updated Trollz, just a troll: 

Troll in a barrel. 

What things can you find in your space? Stuff that you've forgotten you had? Stuff that have random memories attached to them? I'd love to know.

peace,

Ren  

...and I'm back.

"The sense of community is indispensable… to full self-realization." ~Herbert J. Muller 

Again. I'm here to stay for a bit. 

New moon in Sagittarius with a Solar Eclipse. Time for focusing on what I want to bring into being. This of course makes me wonder exactly what I want to bring into being. I'm a bit fuzzy on that. I've been a bit raw. Emotionally frazzled. Physically tired. Mentally stressed. I want a healthier me... calm, cool, collected. Bending without breaking. I want ... peace and happiness. It's the season for it isn't it? 

I've been up to a lot lately... it's part of why I've been missing. The crazy? Work, work, work and some crazy people... some of whom I work with and some of whom need to find themselves a life... or just grow up really. 

The fun? UpMarket. I was invited by Cupcake Wench (everyone's favourite purveyor of mouthwatering cupcakes) and her hubby (I stole her description from his site) and was most happy that I attended. Am thinking perhaps I should say that my belly was very happy that I attended since that's a bit more accurate. If you're ever in Trinidad and Tobago and decide to visit UpMarket (apparently it's going to be held regularly) here's some advice: don't go when you're hungry. Seriously. I found myself paying way more attention to the yummy foodstuff than the pretty clothing/jewellery/miscellaneous stuff. In fact, I came home with cupcakes (of course), tomato chutney, Chuck Norris pepper sauce (bought from Zaaki), olive bites, cheesecake-stuffed-strawberries and a jar of hummus. *sigh* The only non-edible items were 4 scented candles (I think vanilla and lavender)... a steelpan music CD  (Caribbean Christmas by Robert Tobitt)... and a coaster for my dad made of pink poui wood. I was very impressed by the variety of stalls and the quality of merchandise/foodstuff. I'll probably be attending again at some point. 

Something else I went to because a friend asked - Hott 93's Polar Plunge (I think it was an anniversary party). It's not something I'd usually go to. I'm not a big fan of crowds. Wasn't really in the mood. It was all about support... because it was the first time my girl Shazelle was performing in Trinidad and Tobago. The event was... *meh* but her performance was awesome. Yes, I did take photos (which are still on my camera along with photos from Divali and other various activities :s). Am hopeful that there are many more songs/videos/performances to come. 

The interesting? I attended the "National Consultation on Securing and Expanding the GATE Programme". It was for work and so can possibly be included under 'the crazy' as the lead up to it was stressful and just plain crazy with people changing their minds at the last minute and such. It's a good thing I have patience. The GATE Programme has three main objectives:

• To make tertiary education affordable to all so that no citizen of Trinidad and Tobago would be denied tertiary education because of inability to pay;
• To widen access to tertiary education that would support economic development and promote social equity; and
• To build and strengthen a national quality tertiary education sector through both public and private tertiary level institutions

I found the actual Consultation to be interesting - it was the first such to be held with regards to the GATE programme which I find to be very sad, considering that the programme has been in operation since 2004, and also very heartening in that the various stakeholders involved are being asked to provide their thoughts, grievances and recommendations. Lots of relevant points made, some new things proposed... am waiting to see what will come of it. It's a step in the right direction but if it doesn't go all the way then there's not much of a point to it.  

See how much I've been up to? So much happening and so much still to happen.  It's the fun and the interesting and the crazy that makes up my days and I'm just grateful that the fun and interesting outweigh the crazy.  What's going on in your corner of the world? I'm curious ...and I hope that the good outweighs the bad. 

peace,

Ren

Timed Post Tuesday! (idk what it will be about yet...)

"If you nurture your mind, body, and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish more." ~Brian Koslow 

I've been thinking of doing a timed post... what is it? It's where you time yourself... maybe 5 minutes... or 10 (or more) and just write... No censoring... just transferring what's in your head to paper... or in this case a blog post. So. I'm giving myself 10 minutes to see what comes out. Ready? Set. Go!

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It's 11.17 and I just killed a mosquito... except that it isn't dead cuz it just flew away again. Super Mosquito? Am sure that I squashed it. This is not what I want to be writing about. Perhaps I'll start over... it's 11.17 and some more seconds and I initially thought I'd start blogging at 11. Except that I was watching Chopped Champions on the Food Network and was distracted - Food Network can take up a lot of my time if I'm not careful. I don't agree with the winning decision - Pnina should have won. Oh well and letting it go now. For some reason I ended up on the Food Network Chopped page and look! there's a twitter feed! and Aarti Sequeira is on Twitter... AARTI!!! For those of you that don't know about Aarti and her Paarti I shall provide the link...after I'm done with this timing. You see? Food Network can be distracting not just from tv viewing but because of their website and twitter feeds and facebook pages and such. Sometimes I think we have too much technology going on. Surely one day we'll hit overload? Or maybe we'll just evolve such that our brains .. senses.. can absorb data at lightning speeds... 

My brother told me today about a creature (is it a snake? lizard? - ergh I can't remember) that scientists have found to be evolving... apparently the creature lives on the slopes of a mountain so that there are some in the valley and some higher up the mountain... those at the base lay eggs but those higher up have evolved such that they now don't lay eggs... the young grow inside like with us. Evolution... it's happening all around. 

It's New Moon in Virgo today I believe... an earth sign and I read a really great article about Spider Woman - she's a Goddess though I can't remember which religion... Native American maybe? It's interesting for me cuz it speaks about weaving webs and linkages. I've always thought that people - humans - souls weave webs... spin dreams out of nothing - into the past and into the future and there are all these connections between people, places, things (I remember a game called 'boy, girl, place, thing' - that's neither here nor there at the moment). I just find it interesting. New moon means setting intentions... earthy new moon means grounding and strengthening and building intentions. 

Am still trying to figure out what my intentions are. There's the mosquito again! and it's 11.27. 

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So I think I ramble... but perhaps not. A timed post is cleansing in its own way... Maybe I should have given myself 15 minutes. Or maybe I'll do another timed post on Thursday! :D 

Here are the links to what I was thinking/talking about:

Chopped: Food Network

Aarti Paarti!: Blog  & Twitter & Aarti on Food Network

Spider Woman and the Virgo New Moon

good night all!

peace,

Rtr

ETA: New Moon was on the 8th (Wednesday)

New Moon in Aries tonight...

"The New Moon is a time best suited to making new beginnings! For the first 48 hours following the exact time of the New Moon each month, a window of opportunity opens for making wishes that, if written down, come true in the days and months ahead." ~Tarot.com

There's a new moon in Aries tonite.. time to prepare for change as this moon is for flying free... let go of the old... make room for the new. According to Tarot.com (one of my most favourite sites on the WWW), "the New Moon signifies the conjunction of the Sun and Moon as they occupy the same sign of the Zodiac. The Moon appears to be invisible because it is eclipsed by the rays of the Sun. This is an excellent time to retreat and reflect upon what you want to create for the coming month. Meditate, get clear about your intentions and for added power, write a list of what you want to manifest."

It's time for me to re-center... focus... determine what I want and put the energy into making it happen. In two weeks it'll be my birthday and I believe the full moon... excitement for me is having the full moon on my birthday. I've always been into the moon and its cycles... perhaps because I'm female? perhaps because once in a past life I was dedicated in service? perhaps because night time is the right time? lol... I don't know and I don't think I need to know more than the fact that I tune into that energy easily. It is soothing and yet exhilarating all at the same time. 

What would you like to manifest? Now is the time. Make your lists... set your intentions... breathe. 

peace,

Ren