30th Birthday. (warning: long post...)

It's my birthday today... and Google knows: 

That's just a little bit of awesome right there. 

Did not have to reschedule plans due to rain last night. Yay? Yay! Was taken out by the Cupcake Wench to try a new experience (is always good to have friends who can bake/cook...too bad this experience wasn't about baking/cooking). It was... interesting. Fun... but also traumatising. That's all I can say about it publicly. Yay to new experiences though - am making it a policy to at least try stuff before deciding whether I like it or not. Went out to dinner with Cupcake Wench, her hubby, Carib Boy (who makes awesome mosaic stuff) and the cute guy. Managed to reach home before midnight - I have this issue where I want to be at home when it becomes birthday. 

Cute guy was here to wish me Happy Birthday... he is awesome.

I sent him home because I wanted to go to bed so that I'd get up early and perhaps make it to Guru Gita at the Ashram. For years I'd been going with my mom for my birthday... but then last year, I'm not sure how, both of us overslept. This year... I realise that it's not easy getting up to leave home at 5 a.m. if I go to bed after midnight. Is part of getting older? Need more rest? Woke up at 4 a.m., thought about it... convinced self that I could stay in bed a bit longer... it started to rain. I don't know who can leave their bed at that hour when it's raining. If you can do that - you are awesome. I decided to give thanks for Livestream - put it on to look at... and fell asleep. Ah well. 

I dreamt my mom. I wish I could tell you what I dreamt exactly but the times that I can do that are few and far between. I've mentioned before that I hardly ever remember dreams. I woke up happy though - light-hearted... determined that it would be a good day. 

The Cat was clingy and wanted to sleep on me. I had to get up though... my dad and brother were talking about breakfast. Buffet breakfast discussions ended up with us going to Woodford Café... where my brother and I ate a lot and my dad took photos of us eating a lot. 

The cute guy took me out for dim sum. It's a bit tough being a vegetarian - there are usually only so many options available wherever one goes to dine. We'd been talking about dim sum for some time but... it's usually very meaty - which is fine for the cute guy, not so fine for me. Luckily, I saw this post by TriniChow. Delightful dim sum at Tiki Village? Yes, please... and yes, it was. The Tiki Village people gave me a slice of chocolate cake because it's my birthday... I like that restaurants give free desserts if there's a birthday. 

We went to the Trinidad and Tobago Garden Club's Flower Festival. I have photos... will try to post them some time. I'd been anxious about how the rainy weather might affect the festival but it went on as planned. Apart from being fond of flowers, it was a bit of remembrance - if my mom were here she'd have gone with me. We've been to flower shows by the Orchid Society and the Horticultural Society. We've been to gardens in New Jersey and Massachusetts. We've bonded over pretty flowers... and the knowledge that plants are safer in other people's hands than our own. I am... extraordinarily pleased... that the cute guy carried me and showed interest and took photos with me. 

I had a really good day. Perhaps some may not have found it interesting but, I had fun, spent time with people that I love and did stuff that I love. What more could one ask for in a birthday?

I've a lot of birthday messages to respond to - will get to them in time.

Thanks to all for the love, the positive vibes, the birthday wishes. 

Love,

Ren

Wrong side of the bed.

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." ~Benjamin Disraeli

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Nevermind the fact that there's just one side to wake up on. As an aside.. did you know that for good feng shui one's bed should have a good supporting wall behind the bed and that one should be able to approach the bed from both sides? I've been reading up on it.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I woke up in a somewhat grumpy mood... or maybe it's that I woke up earlier than expected and just lay there annoyed that I should have been sleeping. Or that it's that time of month when it feels as though my insides are being carved out with rusty pickaxes. Or that I couldn't figure out what I wanted for lunch and ended up bringing a sandwich which means that I'll have to probably get something else for lunch. Or that sometimes it feels as though I have to organise a lot of stuff in my house... not physical stuff.. just stuff.. there are times (like today) when there's a snarky voice in my head saying 'what am I? An errand runner?'

And then I feel guilty... and also I snarked at  my mom a bit (not that much [I think] cuz I know when I'm in a bad mood and try to minimize interaction)... so there was more guilt. Really, sometimes I just need to be left alone.

Then I couldn't find a radio station to settle on and the car driving in front of me was driving at 20 km/hr and there was no way to pass him. So.

I forced myself to listen to the Guru Gita... or as much of it as I could on the way to work... because my workplace can cause a bad mood all by itself - bringing one to work could result in drama of proportions I don't want/need.

Taking some time to soak in some soothing music... and read articles totally unrelated to work and instead related to creativity, names for breasts, dancing and love. 

Hope you have a good day...

peace,

Ren

It's *my* birthday!

"Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we were born." ~Albert Einstein

It's been a good day. I took the day off (I have a firm policy - no working on birthdays). Didn't really do that much but still feel a measure of ... peace... calm... quiet... that I have not felt for some time. This might be due to the fact that I handed in all my MBA stuff on Tuesday (please Goddess... let me pass everything!)... or it might be that I went by the Ashram twice today... it might just be that today is my birthday. 

It feels like a return... circle around and this is where I am. I was born on a Thursday... it's why I particularly like Thursdays more than any other day. After all the craziness it feels like I'm at the right place at the right time. I am blessed. 

A run-down of stuff I did on my birthday:

• Got up at 4 am... went to Guru Gita at the Ashram. I didn't fall asleep during it but was somewhere in that hazy world between sleep and non-sleep. Got Happy Birthday sung to me before 7 am... Got told I've got a good brain... 
• Got three free apples from our market guy because it's my birthday... it's good when the market/grocery people know you.
• Played with the kitten
• Got presents! Books... 'Living in the Light' by Shakti Gawain- which I've already started reading, 'The White Queen' and 'The Red Queen' by Philippa Gregory - I received two of her books for Christmas and New Year's and she's now one of my favourite authors... historical-type-fiction which is amazingly written :)
• Did a tarot reading [see below] (Tarot.com gave me a free one ... because it's my birthday)... It looks like it's gonna be an interesting year..
• Did not have any falling out with my dad... It's only now that I realise this... there has been no strange drama this year... are we getting old? was he trying to be calm because of my having to hand in MBA stuff? There was no drama... wow
• My brother made risotto ... and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Thank the Goddess that my brother can cook.. and bake. I am blessed
• Took a nap
• Went to the Ashram (yes, again...) for discussion group otherwise known as "Sacred Conversations" ... most interesting topic for today... I admit I wondered what would be the topic today... Got told I'm a great critic... 
• Went out for dinner... Got free dessert... with a candle that would. not. out. seriously...
• Sang along with my brother to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody [Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me|(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro...] during dinner... (a song which my mom has either never heard or just can't remember... yet my dad, brother and I love it... :s)
• Got a present! Earrings shaped like awareness ribbon... 
• Sang along to the Masquerade song from Phantom of the Opera on the drive back home
• Answered phone calls and messages... missed some... oops? Spent some time on-line responding to all the facebook messages of birthday greetings.. 

After all has been said and done, it was a day where I learned stuff, spent time with family, and had fun... not bad for a birthday :)  Many thanks to all who sent birthday greetings :)

love,

Ren