On having a (Cat) Child

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~Franklin P. Adams

This morning I was in my room doing I can't remember what when I heard loud meows outside my window. Looking out, I saw my Cat sitting on a chair and apparently talking to me... 

He's a very vocal Cat. I am told that I have him very spoilt. I do not know what people are talking about. I don't over feed him - his vet says he is most healthy and definitely not over-weight. I play with him when I can. A lot of times he comes by me to sleep. He likes to cuddle and sit on me. He likes to talk to me. He comes to greet me when I get home. He makes noise outside my window at 5 a.m. because that's when he wants food. He sleeps away most of my waking day.

He is adorable and also a major responsibility. He makes me think of what it would be like to have my own child - a mini me... a tiny person who will grow into a big person who will be dependent on me for at least 18 years. I'm not sure I can manage that. I'm not sure I want to manage that. 

Time will tell I suppose... and in the meantime I shall live and love my Cat Child. 

peace,

Ren

The Sweetest Thing...

The sweetest thing in the whole world right now is how the Cat reaches for me when he's sleeping. I'm on my computer, he's napping next to me, and then I hear a sleepy meow and see him reaching out his paw for me. His paw is now resting on my foot while he sleeps.

Awww!!!!!!!!!

Wishing you some sweet things :)

peace,

Ren

Sunday, Saturday, Friday, Thursday...

I feel as though I've been on the move since I last posted... and yet I can't quite figure out what I've been doing. 

The Cat is on antibiotics - he's got an upper respiratory infection. We first realised something was wrong on Thursday morning; he's a very vocal cat - I talk to him, he talks to me. He was significantly less so and by the time I got home from work Thursday evening he couldn't meow. It was very disconcerting. You could see him meowing but no sound came out. The vet wasn't available till the next morning. I googled. Google is the answer for everything now. Took him to the vet Friday morning and he's been on antibiotics since. He seems to be improving but his voice is nowhere near where it's supposed to be just yet. 

My dad wanted me to go to the doctor on Friday... because I was also coming down with a throat infection and I felt flu-like. Did I get something from the Cat? From my workplace? There's always someone sick at my workplace. I've been doing Reiki on mysef, sucking on zinc lozenges and eating fruit, ginger, garlic, onion (not all at the same time) ... I will get over whatever this is. It seems to be working thus far. I do not want to have to take antibiotics. 

I spent some time with the cute guy. It is easy to just be in his company. We've been talking about future plans and work and what might happen in a post-apocalyptic world. 

I'm reading three books on the Kindle (I don't think I'm the only one that reads more than one book at a time):

• Myths to Live By by Joseph Campbell,
• The One-Week Job Project by Seth Aiken, and 
• Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

They're all very interesting and as I'm typing this I think I'll open up one of those Amazon stores... link all these books I read. Maybe. I can guarantee you'll find something of interest. 

I've spent some of today going through my mom's books. It's still such a hard thing to do. Especially as I think that it shouldn't be... I miss her even though I know that in some way, shape or form she is still with me. 

Tomorrow is another day. 

peace,

Ren

edited to add: I've got an Amazon store! Filled with books (maybe not as full as I'd like it to be but I'll add more as I go along)! Links are in the post as well as on the tabs bar. 

30th Birthday. (warning: long post...)

It's my birthday today... and Google knows: 

That's just a little bit of awesome right there. 

Did not have to reschedule plans due to rain last night. Yay? Yay! Was taken out by the Cupcake Wench to try a new experience (is always good to have friends who can bake/cook...too bad this experience wasn't about baking/cooking). It was... interesting. Fun... but also traumatising. That's all I can say about it publicly. Yay to new experiences though - am making it a policy to at least try stuff before deciding whether I like it or not. Went out to dinner with Cupcake Wench, her hubby, Carib Boy (who makes awesome mosaic stuff) and the cute guy. Managed to reach home before midnight - I have this issue where I want to be at home when it becomes birthday. 

Cute guy was here to wish me Happy Birthday... he is awesome.

I sent him home because I wanted to go to bed so that I'd get up early and perhaps make it to Guru Gita at the Ashram. For years I'd been going with my mom for my birthday... but then last year, I'm not sure how, both of us overslept. This year... I realise that it's not easy getting up to leave home at 5 a.m. if I go to bed after midnight. Is part of getting older? Need more rest? Woke up at 4 a.m., thought about it... convinced self that I could stay in bed a bit longer... it started to rain. I don't know who can leave their bed at that hour when it's raining. If you can do that - you are awesome. I decided to give thanks for Livestream - put it on to look at... and fell asleep. Ah well. 

I dreamt my mom. I wish I could tell you what I dreamt exactly but the times that I can do that are few and far between. I've mentioned before that I hardly ever remember dreams. I woke up happy though - light-hearted... determined that it would be a good day. 

The Cat was clingy and wanted to sleep on me. I had to get up though... my dad and brother were talking about breakfast. Buffet breakfast discussions ended up with us going to Woodford Café... where my brother and I ate a lot and my dad took photos of us eating a lot. 

The cute guy took me out for dim sum. It's a bit tough being a vegetarian - there are usually only so many options available wherever one goes to dine. We'd been talking about dim sum for some time but... it's usually very meaty - which is fine for the cute guy, not so fine for me. Luckily, I saw this post by TriniChow. Delightful dim sum at Tiki Village? Yes, please... and yes, it was. The Tiki Village people gave me a slice of chocolate cake because it's my birthday... I like that restaurants give free desserts if there's a birthday. 

We went to the Trinidad and Tobago Garden Club's Flower Festival. I have photos... will try to post them some time. I'd been anxious about how the rainy weather might affect the festival but it went on as planned. Apart from being fond of flowers, it was a bit of remembrance - if my mom were here she'd have gone with me. We've been to flower shows by the Orchid Society and the Horticultural Society. We've been to gardens in New Jersey and Massachusetts. We've bonded over pretty flowers... and the knowledge that plants are safer in other people's hands than our own. I am... extraordinarily pleased... that the cute guy carried me and showed interest and took photos with me. 

I had a really good day. Perhaps some may not have found it interesting but, I had fun, spent time with people that I love and did stuff that I love. What more could one ask for in a birthday?

I've a lot of birthday messages to respond to - will get to them in time.

Thanks to all for the love, the positive vibes, the birthday wishes. 

Love,

Ren

Cat scratches, love bites and belly rubs

Our pets mourn us when we're gone.

My hand has tiny scratches and my knuckles were chewed on last night. The Cat has become clingy. Needy. He goes into my mom's room to look for her and then cries. We have been blessed with cats that are vocal... our previous cat had a very melodious voice, our current cat can carry on full conversations - changes in intonation that let us know his moods. He meows questioningly and then cries. Oy. I've been spending time with him... more play, more petting. We've told him that mom has passed and I think he understands in his own way. He is now keeping an eye on the three of us at home. My brother thinks that the Cat is concerned that another one of us may leave. I wonder if he'd been around to see my mom at the moment of her passing if he'd be less clingy.

Our Dog seems to be handling my mom's passing fairly well though I've noticed he's been eating less. He was present during the funeral rites at my home - sat quietly under a table and observed all that was happening. I've been trying to give him more belly rubs than usual. We've had him for the past almost-13 years and I know he and mom were close. Will have to keep an eye on him.

Send love to my entire family... we're all grieving in our own ways, human and animal alike.

peace,

Ren

Keep Calm and Love Cats...

Perhaps I should have been blogging...

But instead my Cat and I were watching and pinning cat photos onto my Cat board.

I've decided I love Pinterest almost as much as I love cats.

peace,

Ren 

Conversations with the Cat and etc...

"In the dim background of our mind, we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start." ~William James

I have a theory - our Cat is so vocal because we talk to him as though he's a person. He's perfectly capable of carrying out conversations - am sure at times he must be frustrated that we don't understand what he's saying but sometimes... sometimes we do. A conversation with Cat can go something like this:

Cat (as I exit the bathroom to find him curled up just outside the door):  Meow?
Me: Cat chile, why are you in front of the door?
Cat (as he gets up and starts walking towards the kitchen): Meow meow. 
Me: I already fed you! I've got to get ready to go to work!
Cat (in a disgruntled tone as he rubs up on my leg): Meow?
Me (as I try to maneuver past him to get to my room): I have to go to work to make money.
Cat (as he sits directly in front my room door): Meow?
Me: Because I need money to buy cat food!
Cat (in a somewhat pleased tone of voice): Mrrrr ... purrr. 

Of course he approves of me making money to buy cat food. 

Recently, a few people have told me that I've been very quiet. Fear not world... it's not that I stopped blogging but that I just stopped interacting. I'm not sure why... I've been... thinking? Contemplating? Stewing? Just being. 

I feel somewhat grumpy with the world and the family and life. I also feel somewhat happy with the world and the family and life. 

It's a weird space I'm in. 

No apologies. I think I've needed to drift... nothing negative, something positive. 

There's been a lot going on. 

Hope that all is well in your world. If you need a moment to yourself - take it. Even if it is just the one moment... stop, breathe, feel.  

peace,

Ren

Check-ups and checking in...

"We're all stumbling toward the light with varying degrees of grace at any given moment." ~Bo Lozoff

Thought that today would be a good day to start back writing... it's a Tuesday after all... last day I wrote was a Monday... a week has passed.

I would like to say that I took a period of me-time... avoidance of the Internet and all major distractions. I didn't though - apparently the Universe (or my Internet Service Provider) thought that my family could use the off-line time. Positive = We're getting a refund. Negative = We are disconnected from the world! We've been going kinda crazy... every person in my house uses the Internet for some reason or other.

I'm back out to work though... so...  sneaking in this post whilst I can.

Had to visit my doctor this morning... am now on antibiotics. Meh. Nothing major ... at least hopefully it won't develop into anything major. I'm really not a fan of doctor's visits. Send me healing vibes world... positive thoughts and healing vibes...

A snapshot of things I've done whilst offline: hung out with the family (idk if they'd agree that's what I did), hung out with the cute guy (who just keeps getting cuter... oy), cut my hair... trimmed really - I'm so bad at maintaining the hair in any kind of way (was told that if I want bangs I *must* return in 3 weeks), saw The Avengers (one word: AWESOME!), got slept on by the Cat and postponed stuff I wanted to do but just wasn't feeling up to doing. 

Just being with myself for the moment. 

Something that has made me thoughtful today: article on 'a life in exile bliss' - the title was fairly attention-grabbing.. further, this blog post: 'Who Could Hire Me' is definitely an interesting read.

Hmm.

peace,

Ren

Today, I...

"Each moment is a place you've never been." ~Mark Strand

...continued on my quest for Total Room Domination (translation - I'm trying to clean my room before my birthday). 

...thought to myself that it's hard to give enough time to everything that I'd like to give time to. Right now it's my parents. Hmm.

...got slept on, kneaded and gnawed by the Cat. 

...went to a lime with my mom and brother - with my mom's girl people to discuss the current 40 days... and the messages and our take on them and... just general ole talk as well. 

...went for ice-cream/dessert with the brother and his girlfriend. Was joined by the cute guy... am somewhat curious to hear the brother's (and his gf's) thoughts on the cute guy.

...went to Palmiste Park with the cute guy... met up with another friend. Limed. Ole-talked. 

...came to the realisation that most of my days are fairly good days. 

Hope your days are good as well.

peace,

Ren

Edited to add:
...today I got posted! Or I guess I should say, 'today my photo got posted!'... to TriniLikeSalt's 'A Thousand Faces' blog that I've mentioned here. It made me smile.