Grump grump grump

"Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath." ~Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes I think that the males in my family exist solely to annoy me. Vex me. Make me most grumpy. I think males are strange creatures, and males who are closely related to me seem to be even more so. 

I do not like it. I do not like being vexed with family. I do not like being put in the middle. I do not like people not doing what they should be doing. I do not like having to point out what people should be doing. I do not like people expecting me to do stuff for them if they aren't willing to do the same. I do not like people getting annoyed if I point out that I do not like them expecting me to do stuff for them if they won't do the same. 

I am annoyed and grumpy. I am trying not to be. 

*sigh*

peace,

Ren

Looking.

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." ~Steve Jobs

Tomorrow the cute guy and I are going to be signing a rental agreement - we've been looking for a space in which he can have his photography studio and, I'm not quite sure how I got involved but, I'll also be using the space as a yoga studio. We're sharing. It starts tomorrow. It's exciting and scary and... awesome. 

On Friday I had dinner with two women who I worked with at my old job - one moved on to other adventures some time back and one is still there. The conversation was interesting - catching up on where we were and what we're doing. How have we gotten to where we are now? It's something I've been thinking about a lot. When I was 13 we had to choose subjects - I ended up in the Business stream only because of the fact that I wanted to do Information Technology as one of my subjects; it was only offered in the Business stream or the Sciences stream and I definitely was not interested in pursuing strictly Science subjects. One decision that led to a BA in Business Administration, a job in an office and then an MBA because... progression? It served its purpose - I needed a job and I had one and now I'm moving on to find out what I really would love to do. My dad is unhappy because he thinks I'm going about it the wrong way - that I should have stayed at my old job or find a new job (which provides steady income) and pursue this - whatever this is right now - in my spare time. 

Pfft. I need to do this my way. Need to figure out, to find, to look for what will satisfy me.

Is it teaching yoga? I'm not sure - but I'm open to the possibility that it might be or, that this will eventually lead me to somewhere I want to be. Is it writing? Perhaps - this is something that's always in my mind and so I'm sure the time will come when I pursue it further. Is it taking one day at a time and enjoying each experience? Yes. 

What will be, will be. I'm looking forward to it.

peace,

Ren

Memory-making and photo-taking.

"All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person's (or thing's) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time's relentless melt." ~Susan Sontag

Today the cute guy came over to help me paint walls. It's Christmas time and painting is something that a lot of Trinis do to prepare for the season. My family doesn't do it that often - there are some families who paint their homes every year, the inside and outside or maybe a wall or two... we do it when we can, or when I decide I want to as I'm mostly the one that pushes to get painting done. 

I'm making new memories. There once was a green wall in my living room - an accent wall - which my mom and I did when my dad and brother were out of the country. Prior to this green wall the only room with any major colour was mine, a sheer lilac, because my dad likes clean white (or some shade of white) at least that's the reason that I know. That Christmas when we were both home alone we decided to make one wall an accent wall and so we went to the paint store and bought a deep forest green. I painted the wall. Then, I stamped white spirals on it. It was amazing (and made my brother and my dad speechless when they saw it - my dad's been trying to get me to paint it white ever since). 

I say 'once was' because I've painted over it. It's time for new memories. Every day is a day in which I think of my mom,  of things that we've done together and things that she's said and taught me. They are cherished thoughts and memories but I know that she wouldn't want me to always be in the past. Part of going to Costa Rica was to help figure out my future... what I want to be in it, what I'd like to do. Painting over a wall is also part of the process; part of moving on and making new memories. 

After painting we looked at photos - I have had a digital camera since (at least) 2008 - I have so many photos that I've taken from 2008 to present. These photos capture moments that I'd like to remember; people, events, places - the essence of where I've been, what I've been up to and who I've shared these experiences with. When he left I started downloading all the photos I took on our trip together and on my trip to Costa Rica (I now have over 2500+ photos to sort through [help?!]). I'll continue to take photos - perhaps my new accent wall will feature in some of them as my green wall once did. 

How do you capture your memories? Do you take photos? Journal or draw? Record an audio clip or a video clip? It's important, I think, to have some way to capture them so that we can then access them when we need more than our own thoughts and memories. 

peace,

Ren

Now the Inquiry...

"We make our work significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers". ~Carl Sagan

I've been in Costa Rica at the Nosara Yoga Institute for a little over a week. It's slowly sinking in that I'm not home, that I'm not in my comfort space, that I'm not surrounded by people I care about. It's an experience.

Costa Rica is beautiful, there is jungle and beach and friendly people who speak Spanish (whilst I do not). The yoga teacher training is filled with people from around the world. I'm learning a lot about yoga, about myself, about who I want to be and maybe even a little bit about what I want to do. 

I am missing my mom. Grief is still something that I am working through. There is a mother-daughter pair in our yoga classes and I am somewhat envious of the time and the togetherness that they get to spend with each other. 

I am talking every day with my dad... our relationship has deepened since my mom's passing as we try to fill in the spaces. I am talking every day with the cute guy who is still as adorable as I first found him. Luckily travelling with him was a wonderful experience.

I am asking questions and seeking answers in the work I'm doing and in the space I'm in. We shall see what I shall find.

peace,

Ren

This is a test...

"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." ~Jawaharlal Nehru

On Monday the cute guy and I are flying off to adventures both anticipated and unknown. I am excited - I love travelling and seeing and experiencing new places. I am anxious - because of the unknown and because of separation from the male parent (our relationship has been changing to accommodate the loss of the female parent... He'll be fine by himself... I hope) and separation from the Cat child who seems to know that I'm leaving home soon and keeps trying (and often-times succeeding) in sitting on me for long periods of time. I am happy... Lighter in a way I have not felt for quite some time.

Looking forward to new adventures and so this post is a test... Can I post from my phone? Hopefully the answer is yes.

Peace,

Ren

Leap of faith...

"Faith is an act of rational choice, which determines us to act as if certain things were true, and in the confident expectation that they will prove to be true." ~Dean Inge

The day before my last day at my current workplace and it's finally caught up to me - the 'oh my Goddess what am I DOING?!', the questioning, the bit of sadness that is leaving a space where I've been for quite a number of years. I've been excited thus far, fairly certain in the knowledge that this is the right thing that I'm doing, but today, I found myself wondering.

Then this popped up on my Instagram feed:

How do we even know when we're ready to take that further step in our path? I'm not waiting... just going with what feels right for the moment and trusting that all will be well. 

My dad asked me how I was feeling about tomorrow being my last day - told him I was perfectly fine until today. He thought about that and then said that although he was not sure it was the right decision and although I went ahead and resigned after he advised against it, it takes a lot of belly (I think this may be a Trini phrase... it takes a lot of... courage? guts? both would work here...) to decide that something isn't working for me and even more belly to do something about it. Whatever happens in the future there is the knowledge that, in this moment when I know that there needs to be a change, I am capable of making it.

All will be well.

peace,

Ren

Sick.

"Everything that happens to you is stored and reflected in your body. Your body knows; your body tells. The relationship of yourself to your body is indivisible, inescapable, unavoidable." ~Gabrielle Roth

I have been recovering from the flu... cold... virus? I'm never quite sure what it is - it started off with a sore throat early last week, turned into body aches, sneezing and a slightly scary temperature and is ending up with tired eyes and an overall feeling of almost-but-not-quite-better.

I took today off from work because my eyes would not allow me to leave home. I've mentioned this before on the blog (I think)... my eyes become super-light-sensitive when I'm ill. So much so that the barest hint of sunlight produces streams of tears. I've been in darkness most of this weekend. It may be because of my eyes that I find darkness to be soothing.

The cute guy seems to be in the beginning stages of whatever illness I'm recovering from. Is this part of being in a relationship? Is there a 50-50 rule? If I have an illness, there's a 50-50 possibility that he may or may not get it from me? Healing vibes to him because I know I've been miserable these past few days.

I've been thinking of my grandparents and my parents. As a little girl, whenever I got sick I'd be sent to my grandparents during the day... my sick days form the majority of the memories I have of my grandparents. Been thinking of my mom and how she handled her illness... and of my dad and how he's been handling mine.

I've been dreaming... it hardly ever happens or I rarely remember when I do. When I'm unwell it happens often. Day time dreams and night time dreams; vivid dreams that melt into wisps of dreams when my eyes open. 

It's time for more dreams for me.

Good night world, I've missed talking to you.

peace,

Ren

Super moon in the sky...

I've been all day with my dad working on his project house. There are photos I could show you... but I look all sweaty, covered in sawdust and varnish - it's not a pretty sight. The house is getting there though. There's something immensely satisfying about doing things with your hands. Building things that will last for years to come. I told my dad that I'm going to tell everyone that visits the house that I sanded, sealed and varnished it all. He said if I wanted to I could tell everyone I built it all. 

I'm tired and achy and around seven p.m. I found myself moving quite slowly whilst varnishing the last set of shelves. My dad said to lean towards the window - that there'd be a sight that would more than make up for the early morning and the long day of labouring. I looked out the window and saw a red moon. 

There's a super moon in the sky this weekend. We missed the moonrise, which would have been something as we'd have seen the moon rising out of the ocean, but we didn't miss it by much. I wish I had my camera. Maybe next time I'll plan to take some photos... I'm glad that others did though.

Cape Sounion some 60 km east of Athens June 22, 2013. (Reuters / Yannis Behrakis)

Take some time to check out your sky... there's bound to be something beautiful. 

peace,

Ren

Stand still... it's the Solstice...

It's apparently a good time for communication and emotional closure. I'm not very good with the former and in need of the latter. I'm not used to experiencing grief and, when added to the frustration  I'm feeling with my work place, it leaves me feeling a bit worn out. Exhausted. 

I feel a bit as though I've got my own little grey cloud hovering over me. There is gloomy shadow instead of sunshine. I'm hoping that by letting myself feel what I'm feeling and trying to be as open as possible the shade of my cloud will transform from oppressing to cooling. That moment, just before the rains come, when there is cool shade and a hint of wind. 

I've been told to just let go and be. 

This is sometimes hard to do - though I've noticed that it's hard when I'm experiencing negative feelings... grumpy and stressed with work makes it harder, being frustrated by parent or brother makes it harder. It's easiest when I'm alone... or with the cute guy, or with the Cat and Dog... or when I'm in my car with the radio on. 

I'm feeling raw. Emotions close to the surface. Life undecided. Not sure quite how to feel or what to do. 

I'm trying to just be. 

Send me some love?

peace,

Ren

Father's Day 2013

Got up early today because my dad and I had planned to go to Mayaro and work a bit on his project house. Didn't actually get there though because I'm not feeling that well. Aches and pains and general malaise. 

Will spend some time with dad. Maybe cook something extra fabulous? 

I'm feeling a bit blue with the whole brother-dad fallout. Males. Hmph. I've had my own quarrels with dad over the years though as I've gotten older they have become fewer... now I appreciate him more as a person. I have more of an understanding of where he's coming from, what his thoughts are based on, what he's been through. I love him.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads, dads-to-be, guys-that-standin-as-dads... 

Something for all: 9 talks for Father's Day

peace,

Ren

Long week

Sometimes it seems as though time flies... sometimes it doesn't. I've felt as though I've been moving through molasses this whole week. Each day has been challenging in some way or other. I've decided that this month is not the month to do everyday blogging. I'm taking it easy, trying to get through the moments. There have been highs and lows this week and I'm just glad that I made it through. 

My mom has been on my mind. I've been going through her stuff and reliving moments in my mind. It leaves me feeling raw for a bit and then after a while it seems to settle and there is... peace. I've been going through things I've said and done, moments that I regret and wonder what I could have done differently. I've realised that what was done then was part of a growing up process. If I knew then what I know now, of course some things would have been different... but I didn't know and whatever happened has led me to knowing now... how to better relate to people and events. I cherish her always for being one of my strongest supporters. 

My manager has suggested that I take some time off... she 'senses that I'm a bit frustrated'. I am. I feel very tired with my workplace - everyone is stuck in old modes of being. There is no moving forward. I've been looking through vacancies listings and finding nothing that really applies to me. I'm tempted to resign from my job and go learn welding... or electrical installation... or something. I'm considering the time off but it takes a month to apply for it. Bah. Humbug.

My brother and my dad has had a falling out of epic proportions. I'm not sure that either one would agree with my assessment but... ah well. It's something that's been a long time coming and has only reached epic proportions because both refrained from saying anything major as they did not want to upset mom. Now that she's not here it's all coming to the fore. They are both so much alike and yet they can't see it. I'm trying to be supportive yet detached. Trying to stay centered and maintain my own equilibrium. 

It helps that I have so many people that I can talk to. I think that is one of the greatest things. Community. It provides support and solace. My advice to people: reach out... if you are sad, lonely, vexed or happy, enthusiastic, amazed... reach out to others and share those feelings. 

Been spending time with the cute guy... movie nights and a visit to the peace festival. I've created an Amazon store... a bookstore - I'd like to have one in real life sometime, with cozy couches and reading nooks. 

It's Saturday and the end of a long week. 

Happy weekend all.

peace,
Ren

Time spent with my dad today

Almost a year ago I mentioned that my dad was talking about a house in Mayaro. I'm calling it his 'project house' - something that he's working on now that he's retired. It's tiny... 12 x 24 feet? I guess it can be called a 'studio apartment'. 

My dad likes to do things for himself. He's a qualified electrician so he's involved with the electrics. He and his brother have been installing the plumbing. He's been trying to figure out storage and how best the house and land can be used.

He's been gloomy that my brother has shown no interest. He's been grumpy that I hadn't been to visit the project house in months - of course I did tell him that I wasn't going to be far from mom while she wasn't well (Mayaro is a 2 hour drive one-way). Now that she's no longer with us I don't mind going and spending time with him while he's doing whatever. 

That's why I went Mayaro today. 

I learnt that I'm too short to reach the ceiling to putty even when standing on a step-stool (ladders - they are my friends). That when cutting porcelain tiles the dust goes *everywhere*. That my dad, somewhere between the ages of 17 and 25,  maintained the electrical equipment of three saw mills. That hammocks truly are made to sleep in.

I didn't do that much in my opinion... but I did get a 'glad you went with me today' email when we got back home. 

I'm glad I went as well. There's a lot we don't know about our parents, I've always felt that I know more about my mom and who she was as a person, than my dad. 

I'm glad that I like spending time with him as well. 

peace,

Ren

More car stories

I got my old car sold today. Bit of a relief in that it's no longer just sitting in the garage, I'm no longer responsible for its care. Bit of... nostalgic feelings... first car bought and now sold.  

Had a bit of drama with it - car decided to give trouble - been told it's because it didn't want to be sold. Luckily we sorted out everything and the process of selling/transferring car to new owner was fairly smooth. 

Felt grateful for my dad. I think he has a magic touch when it comes to buying and selling vehicles. I'm also glad he was there when car decided to give trouble, that he got car fixed up, that he was there for the whole process. 

Yes, I'm an adult and in all likelihood could conduct such transactions by myself with no fuss. It's just good to know that there's someone that's got your back even if at times you may not think so. 

Long day today but... Yay! Got car sold!

peace,

Ren

It's supposed to be my rest day...

My dad has banned me from going out today. 

Yes, I am 30 years old and able to do whatever I want when I want to... but. My dad has banned me from going out today :-|

He says I'm exhausted and should stay home and rest. Of course, his version of stay home and rest includes me making lunch, ironing clothes, cleaning house and whatever.

Something isn't adding up here. 

I am tired though. 

Afternoon nap ftw!

peace,

Ren

Mother's Day Weekend... Day 1.

The thing about mother's day weekend is that my mom is no longer physically with us. I was somewhat dreading this weekend... but... it's been surprisingly light-hearted. Only happy thoughts and fond memories this weekend. Good times. 

I spent the morning cleaning out new car... New car is awesome! Must carry it to get blessed... must wash outside... but yay! New car!

Our family was taken out to lunch by my mom's girl people. I suspect they're taking care of us in the same way that they would my mom. Or that they think my mom would. It was a really nice thing to do. 

It occurs to me that I may have such strong bonds with my own girl people because of my mom's closeness with hers. Girl people - they're necessary to remain sane/have fun/grow. 

We went to the Lakshmi Narayan Temple which has an on-site vegetarian restaurant. Food was good (paneer! I love paneer!) and the conversation was as well (though there was some doctor and teacher bashing... justified I think - but it does make me wonder about the future of our country). My brother and I got birthday wishes... his birthday is just over a week away. We toured the temple grounds and I took a photo or few. 

View from the temple...

It was the kind of day where you'd lift your face to the sun and breathe deeply of the fresh air. 

After we got back my dad and I got a ride to Mayaro with my cousin. Could have gone by ourselves but there was heavy furniture that needed to be moved so cousin's pickup and muscles were made use of. My brother did not go. I am somewhat annoyed with my brother this weekend as he has not done much to help out in the house at all this week even though he's at home. He says he's not a housewife... newsflash: my dad and I aren't housewives either.  We just all live in the same space and try to make it work. Apparently an understanding of living in community and how one can help out is something my brother does not have... although I think that he thinks that he does. I'm not sure how this is going to go. I do not want to grump about my brother in my happy blog post. 

Generally good day... some sayings (Trini-isms?) I heard/learnt today:

1. one must not give someone pepper in their hand... must put it down on table/counter and let them pick it up... otherwise there'll be disagreements.
2. when planting coconut trees you must sit down... this ensures that the tree doesn't grow unmanageably tall. 
3. when planting cassava you must keep a bit of sugar in your mouth... this ensures that the cassava is sweet and not bitter.

Happy Saturday all!

peace,

Ren

New Car!

I've got a new car! New-ish really since it's local used but still... new car! Yay! And, thanks to all who were wishing for me to get one as well :)

Remember how I said I had my eye on a car I'd like to buy? That's the one. Search came through fine and so we arranged to buy car. 'We' because my dad has been a major help. I'm not sure things would run as smoothly if he weren't involved in the process. One day I'm going to have to be able to arrange all these things myself - thankfully, that day is not today.

Car is fabulous (I may be biased). The process to get car? Not so fabulous. It's been a long day. I still have to find a buyer for my old car - sale of that would help to pay off new car. 

Happy though... Yay! New Car!

peace,

Ren

Physically fine. Emotionally down.

Feeling a bit down cuz of a few things: 

1. My dad and brother are ready to pack away/give away/get rid of my mom's stuff. I am not. In fact it makes me both sad and angry. I wondered if it's a girl thing... but no. Have been reading online (of course - when in doubt, I read. Found this, this and this - I'm sure there's lots more to find)... everybody has their own timing when dealing with death of someone. I'm not sure what happens when  there are a few persons in a household and different people are ready to do stuff at different times. I understand the practicality of it... I'm just not ready to go through and let go of her stuff. The day after my mom died a lot of people came to our house to be with us and help us and whatnot. My brother told my mom's best girl ppl to go ahead and straighten up her room. It gave me... a moment of pause. On the one hand it was needed, to organise and clean and now it should be easier to go through her stuff cuz it's boxed away and such. On the other hand. I don't know. My dad wanted her dressing table cleared of her stuff so that he could use it... I put all the lotions, perfumes, hair stuff in the basin I used to give her bed baths with and it is now in my room on the floor. Because I remember the feel of her hands in mine, the smell and feel of the lotion as I rubbed it on her skin and the softness of her hair as I brush it. 
2. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my life but I feel as though my job is stifling me. I've complained a lot on this blog about my job and how much I want another. I just don't know what other direction to take. 
3. Car woes... oy. 

Tonight I'm going to La Cantina. I'm wearing a dress and cute guy is wearing a shirt and we're meeting up friends for a post-birthday lime. There is pizza and cake in my future. The evening is looking up. 

I just feel a bit down at the moment.

peace,

Ren

30th Birthday. (warning: long post...)

It's my birthday today... and Google knows: 

That's just a little bit of awesome right there. 

Did not have to reschedule plans due to rain last night. Yay? Yay! Was taken out by the Cupcake Wench to try a new experience (is always good to have friends who can bake/cook...too bad this experience wasn't about baking/cooking). It was... interesting. Fun... but also traumatising. That's all I can say about it publicly. Yay to new experiences though - am making it a policy to at least try stuff before deciding whether I like it or not. Went out to dinner with Cupcake Wench, her hubby, Carib Boy (who makes awesome mosaic stuff) and the cute guy. Managed to reach home before midnight - I have this issue where I want to be at home when it becomes birthday. 

Cute guy was here to wish me Happy Birthday... he is awesome.

I sent him home because I wanted to go to bed so that I'd get up early and perhaps make it to Guru Gita at the Ashram. For years I'd been going with my mom for my birthday... but then last year, I'm not sure how, both of us overslept. This year... I realise that it's not easy getting up to leave home at 5 a.m. if I go to bed after midnight. Is part of getting older? Need more rest? Woke up at 4 a.m., thought about it... convinced self that I could stay in bed a bit longer... it started to rain. I don't know who can leave their bed at that hour when it's raining. If you can do that - you are awesome. I decided to give thanks for Livestream - put it on to look at... and fell asleep. Ah well. 

I dreamt my mom. I wish I could tell you what I dreamt exactly but the times that I can do that are few and far between. I've mentioned before that I hardly ever remember dreams. I woke up happy though - light-hearted... determined that it would be a good day. 

The Cat was clingy and wanted to sleep on me. I had to get up though... my dad and brother were talking about breakfast. Buffet breakfast discussions ended up with us going to Woodford Café... where my brother and I ate a lot and my dad took photos of us eating a lot. 

The cute guy took me out for dim sum. It's a bit tough being a vegetarian - there are usually only so many options available wherever one goes to dine. We'd been talking about dim sum for some time but... it's usually very meaty - which is fine for the cute guy, not so fine for me. Luckily, I saw this post by TriniChow. Delightful dim sum at Tiki Village? Yes, please... and yes, it was. The Tiki Village people gave me a slice of chocolate cake because it's my birthday... I like that restaurants give free desserts if there's a birthday. 

We went to the Trinidad and Tobago Garden Club's Flower Festival. I have photos... will try to post them some time. I'd been anxious about how the rainy weather might affect the festival but it went on as planned. Apart from being fond of flowers, it was a bit of remembrance - if my mom were here she'd have gone with me. We've been to flower shows by the Orchid Society and the Horticultural Society. We've been to gardens in New Jersey and Massachusetts. We've bonded over pretty flowers... and the knowledge that plants are safer in other people's hands than our own. I am... extraordinarily pleased... that the cute guy carried me and showed interest and took photos with me. 

I had a really good day. Perhaps some may not have found it interesting but, I had fun, spent time with people that I love and did stuff that I love. What more could one ask for in a birthday?

I've a lot of birthday messages to respond to - will get to them in time.

Thanks to all for the love, the positive vibes, the birthday wishes. 

Love,

Ren

3 Minutes - Stream of consciousness

Started today in a grumpy mood, ending today in a better mood. Didn't get to sleep till late last night due to our dog barking outside my window. Although he's a small dog he has a big dog voice... and he really likes barking. Woke up to find my car gone because my brother had gone off to yoga with it. Disgruntlement. I didn't want him going anywhere today due to his being in an accident yesterday. Shouldn't he stay home and rest? An almost-concussed person should rest. That's what I thought anyway. Also not pleased with him driving the car too often - am desperately in need of a new car as the current one is falling apart on me. Ergh. The brother doesn't give a hoot about the car unless he needs to go somewhere... it annoys me greatly... shouldn't he help to take care of it if he's using it? *sigh* My dad annoyed me... to the point where I started thinking of moving out. He grumbles a lot about cleanliness and order and organisation but doesn't actually do much about it... expects others [me... since I'm the one he grumbles to...] to take care of whatever he grumbles about. Also talking about 'he's the boss' and 'his house' and such. I wish mom had left her half of the house to my brother and me...at least then I'd be sure of having a place to be. Not quite so sure anymore and that hurts a bit. Both my dad and brother are ready to pack up/give away/get rid of mom's stuff. I'm not ready yet. Grr. *sigh* Went out with the cute guy. He's responsible for the good mood... movie and group lime to celebrate the wedding anniversary of his friend. Hugs and kisses and he makes me laugh. Met an old classmate. Met her husband and young daughter who wanted to claim me. She was fascinated by my nail polish. Nail polish in 'cosmic blue'... I like it. 

Coming up to 3 minutes in 3, 2, 1... done. 

peace,

Ren  

Walked into a bookstore...

...and came out with three (3) books. Books are one of my weaknesses. I love them and I love places where they are found. Bookstores? Yes, in fact I find book stores to be very calming... they are a comfort place. Library? Obviously. Especially older ones. Large ones. Libraries with some sort of history behind them. Bookmobiles? Definitely... and I wish Trinidad had more of those. Perhaps I should look into getting one of my own. 

Today was my first day back at work - it was... fairly uninteresting work-wise, a bit emotionally exhausting otherwise. It was the reason I found myself in the bookstore. I bought these three books: 

They each caught my eye while I was browsing the shelves. 

I've mentioned previously that one of my favourite books is by Richard Bach. I've always thought about getting other works that he's written but never managed to until today. Today I found "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" and knew that it was coming home with me. I confess that I've already read it out... my brother is going to be reading it soon. It talks about life and the quest for self-perfection. It's a really good book. 

Some weeks ago I came across the video of Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. A professor who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, Randy gave the lecture as a way to teach his children about life and living. Entitled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" - it spoke to me... but, I couldn't find the time to look at the video (though now I probably will be able to). When I saw the book that is based on this video I thought that I'd definitely be able to read the book... and that's why it came home with me. The video:

The last book I bought should have been bought *weeks* ago... but I didn't see it then. It seems as though it's a new book in the bookstore and so this is the time to buy it. I've only skimmed it thus far but it's essentially a realistic, practical, humorous approach to preparing for death. I'd have lent it to my mom who probably would not have read it since she was not into the practical side of preparing for her passing. I'd have lent it to the family that is now grumpy at us for reasons beyond my knowledge. I'd have read it because I believe in being prepared and knowing the practical side of things. Am somewhat horrified by that last line as it sounds like something my dad would say. Ergh. The mango does not fall far from the tree as my mom used to say. 

So. Yay! Books! What's your latest book purchase? Read anything interesting lately? If not, go out and browse your bookstore... or library.

peace,

Ren