Friday, June 21, 2013

Stand still... it's the Solstice...

It's apparently a good time for communication and emotional closure. I'm not very good with the former and in need of the latter. I'm not used to experiencing grief and, when added to the frustration  I'm feeling with my work place, it leaves me feeling a bit worn out. Exhausted. 

I feel a bit as though I've got my own little grey cloud hovering over me. There is gloomy shadow instead of sunshine. I'm hoping that by letting myself feel what I'm feeling and trying to be as open as possible the shade of my cloud will transform from oppressing to cooling. That moment, just before the rains come, when there is cool shade and a hint of wind. 

I've been told to just let go and be. 

This is sometimes hard to do - though I've noticed that it's hard when I'm experiencing negative feelings... grumpy and stressed with work makes it harder, being frustrated by parent or brother makes it harder. It's easiest when I'm alone... or with the cute guy, or with the Cat and Dog... or when I'm in my car with the radio on. 

I'm feeling raw. Emotions close to the surface. Life undecided. Not sure quite how to feel or what to do. 

I'm trying to just be. 

Send me some love?

peace,
Ren

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