It's supposed to be my rest day...

My dad has banned me from going out today. 

Yes, I am 30 years old and able to do whatever I want when I want to... but. My dad has banned me from going out today :-|

He says I'm exhausted and should stay home and rest. Of course, his version of stay home and rest includes me making lunch, ironing clothes, cleaning house and whatever.

Something isn't adding up here. 

I am tired though. 

Afternoon nap ftw!

peace,

Ren

Solstice...

"Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope, - a slight change, and all patterns alter." ~ Sharon Salzberg

Solstice today and I'm so very tired. Change is in the air. Cycles starting over... coming around again.

I'm grumpy and achy and have I mentioned tired? 

The mother is not doing that well... Sudden decline and we're now helping out much more than I ever thought we'd have to and I'm reading sites such as caring.com and agingcare.com. I'm thinking if I ever have my own space I'll outfit it such that when I'm older there won't be any drama if I need wheelchairs/lifts/easy access showers/whatever. I've realised that although the mother has gotten fairly scrawny (she's lost a *lot* of weight) she's still heavy for me...  my back aches like wow. I need to do some strength training. Lifting with the knees and whatever is not helping me in this case. 

The father is concerned and probably feeling his own mortality. He also seems to not realise that I'm doing as much in a day as he is... and with less sleep. I have been snappish with him tonight... some guilt cuz yes is my dad but... I'm tired. That should be capitalised. TIRED. I can't bring myself to feel overly bad about being snappish cuz in my opinion I was provoked. Meh. 

The brother is a rock... without him around I'd be much more snappish and also much more tired. We deal as well as we could. 

The workplace is ... Well, it just is. I'm gearing up for another round of quarrels because really? Enough. I'm tired... and dealing with somewhat incompetent people is not helping my energy level at all. 

The cute guy is... so much cuter. Oy. Bright spot. He makes me smile. Cute. Seriously cute. Oy. Too cute to be in such a grumpy post. 

I know I should talk to the girl ppl... or just talk to people. But. Meh. 

I want chocolate and hugs (especially from the cute guy but really all hugs are welcome) and a vacation... I'm gonna settle for a good cry and a hot water bottle and hopefully some hours of sleep. 

peace,

Ren

Synchronicity...

"Synchronicity is choreographed by a great, pervasive intelligence that lies at the heart of nature, and is manifest in each of us through intuitive knowledge." ~Deepak Chopra

I've been trying to become more aware of all the coincidences in my life... the patterns that play out... the little things that lie on the edge of your mind that if you just become aware of would make life so much simpler, easier or more magical. 

As I've said in a previous post... I sometimes have an idea of what I want to write about... and so sometimes when the idea of what I want to write about sticks with me till I reach the stage where I'm writing - I do background research... lol... just cuz.. reading - one of the things I do best... and like to do best... hmm. 

I'm going off-topic though... am writing about synchronicity and one of the links I came across led to this great paragraph:

"Synchronicities are people, places or events that your soul attracts into your life to help you evolve to higher consciousness or to place emphasis on something going on in your life. The more 'consciously aware' you become of how your soul manifests, the higher your frequency becomes and the faster you manifest positively. Each day your life encounters meaningful coincidences, synchronicities, that you have attracted, on other words created in the grid of your experiences in the physical. Souls create synchronicities, played out in the physical. It is why you are here. It is how our reality works. "

 That pretty much sums up everything I want to say... It's a great principle to think about... become aware of... and sometimes when I think about it the memory that comes to mind is of the homeless man from Bruce Almighty... if you haven't seen the movie... go out and do so now.

And in case, dear reader, you're wondering what got me to thinking bout it today... I'll let you know... I subscribe to Story People's newsletter... got this in my inbox today:

"You carry this much stuff on your back, he said, & see how jolly you get."

And then I came home and as I was passing through our living room I glanced at one of the daily-calendar things we've got sitting on our television: 

It's the one on the far left which says today, April 23rd:

"Knock, knock,  

Who's there? 

Goliath.

Goliath who?

Goliath down, you looketh tired." 

~Clean Laffs

Obviously the Universe is trying to tell me that I'm taking on too much which is making me grumpy and I should go lie down. Obviously. Lol... At least that's my interpretation.

Dear Universe, You Rule!

Going to bed now. 

peace,

Rtr