Feels like a Friday...

"In a sense, as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art." ~Julia Cameron

It's still Thursday.

Saw this tweet this morning: "Work. Be glad yuh have one". I'm glad I have a job - it helps me pay my bills - and today was a good work day though my back still aches and my eyes are tired. I'm beginning to think I'm more social than I thought I was. Impromptu departmental pizza lime. Good times. Ole talk. So what if the work is fairly soul-sucking? The people are interesting. 

Was impressed this evening by the amount of #PR9Anya tweets... that's support for Trinidad and Tobago's own Anya Ayoung-Chee the winner of tonight's Project Runway. She made it work. 'It' being US$11.50. Trinbagonians have skills... artistry and fashion sense. 

Not much else going on that I'm aware of... I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday. Been waiting for it since Monday. 

Night all...

peace,

Ren

It's *my* birthday!

"Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we were born." ~Albert Einstein

It's been a good day. I took the day off (I have a firm policy - no working on birthdays). Didn't really do that much but still feel a measure of ... peace... calm... quiet... that I have not felt for some time. This might be due to the fact that I handed in all my MBA stuff on Tuesday (please Goddess... let me pass everything!)... or it might be that I went by the Ashram twice today... it might just be that today is my birthday. 

It feels like a return... circle around and this is where I am. I was born on a Thursday... it's why I particularly like Thursdays more than any other day. After all the craziness it feels like I'm at the right place at the right time. I am blessed. 

A run-down of stuff I did on my birthday:

• Got up at 4 am... went to Guru Gita at the Ashram. I didn't fall asleep during it but was somewhere in that hazy world between sleep and non-sleep. Got Happy Birthday sung to me before 7 am... Got told I've got a good brain... 
• Got three free apples from our market guy because it's my birthday... it's good when the market/grocery people know you.
• Played with the kitten
• Got presents! Books... 'Living in the Light' by Shakti Gawain- which I've already started reading, 'The White Queen' and 'The Red Queen' by Philippa Gregory - I received two of her books for Christmas and New Year's and she's now one of my favourite authors... historical-type-fiction which is amazingly written :)
• Did a tarot reading [see below] (Tarot.com gave me a free one ... because it's my birthday)... It looks like it's gonna be an interesting year..
• Did not have any falling out with my dad... It's only now that I realise this... there has been no strange drama this year... are we getting old? was he trying to be calm because of my having to hand in MBA stuff? There was no drama... wow
• My brother made risotto ... and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Thank the Goddess that my brother can cook.. and bake. I am blessed
• Took a nap
• Went to the Ashram (yes, again...) for discussion group otherwise known as "Sacred Conversations" ... most interesting topic for today... I admit I wondered what would be the topic today... Got told I'm a great critic... 
• Went out for dinner... Got free dessert... with a candle that would. not. out. seriously...
• Sang along with my brother to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody [Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me|(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro...] during dinner... (a song which my mom has either never heard or just can't remember... yet my dad, brother and I love it... :s)
• Got a present! Earrings shaped like awareness ribbon... 
• Sang along to the Masquerade song from Phantom of the Opera on the drive back home
• Answered phone calls and messages... missed some... oops? Spent some time on-line responding to all the facebook messages of birthday greetings.. 

After all has been said and done, it was a day where I learned stuff, spent time with family, and had fun... not bad for a birthday :)  Many thanks to all who sent birthday greetings :)

love,

Ren

Tidbit Thursday...

Time: 2:38 am

Mood: alert

There are days when I take my time with waking up but that requires conscious decision that.. No. I do not need to get up just yet... Usually I go from asleep to awake in under 2 minutes.

I awake today to the sound of rain pounding on the roof. I lie awake listening to it for some minutes but then the thought crosses my mind - maybe I should take a video? - so I can share with the non-tropical world what a thunderstorm really sounds like... Alas, I'm too lazy at this hour to put on my light and get out my camera - just know world that it sounds like a muted roar sorta like what you'd think 40 nights and days or rain would sound like. Occasional flashes of lightening and I wait for the thunder but maybe it's too far away to hear it?

I wish I could lie here but I'm not built like that - must check to see that all is well before I can allow myself that luxury. I find myself hovering outside my brother's closed bedroom door - is all well? How can one tell through a closed door? No sound from inside and one must go on faith... Make my way on silent feet to my mom's room - I can walk silently if I have to though now all footsteps or soft sounds are drowned out by the falling rain. Hover by my mom's bedside and wait to see the comforting rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps - I've done this more times with her than other family members... Just because. One more to check on but first a detour to look through the windows at the pouring rain. Turning around am almost shocked by the sight of another person - no worries, just dad - and now you know I'm not the only one that does these checks (I imagine it must be frustrating for him now that my brother and I close our bedroom doors to sleep).

We go to look out the back windows... Can't see the river in the dark... Quick prayer that it's not on the rise though the rain has been falling heavily for some time. Soft discussion about the quantity of water coming through the spouting - our drains weren't built to hold so much water...travelling plans for the day...general plans for the day. I see the curtains move in the house across the street - we're not the only ones awake. It's mildly ironic that our weatherman said there was only 10% chance of bad weather... The national hurricane has us ready for storm watch but the weatherman wasn't sure why...

Time to go back to bed and I think I'll leave my door open for the rest of the night...just because.

-----***-----

Time: 3:36 pm

Mood: drowsy

Perhaps I need a siesta? Am at work - as I have been since 8: 10 this am... As soon as I got here I was ready to go back home. There was flood and traffic and was just really glad I wasn't the one driving. Got dropped to work by my dad cuz my brother has to carry mum for radiation. Ergh.

Am not sure how I feel about that. Strong tests by the Universe for all of us I guess. I just want her to be well. I think unless persons have been in similar situations they won't know all the drama that comes with having a family member with a serious (considered serious) illness. There's a lot of up and down emotions happening for me which I'm trying to level off. Positive thoughts needed.

I wanna go home. My computer at work is not working (I'm on someone else's right now) but yet I have so much work to do! It's an additional hassle that is not needed. Buck up IT... have spare parts... Geez. My head hurts.

Am being kidnapped after work though am a willing victim. Am bumming a ride you see (don't have my car remember?) and so we're going to have either indian or thai or chinese food after work. Yay! food! lol...

It's still not time to leave. Argh! Back to work for me...

-----***-----

Time: 11:38 pm

Mood: Contemplative

I should have gone to bed earlier. Came home and checked on mum. Day 1/5 of radiation treatment for cancer in her spine... day-am-not-sure-what of side effects caused by cancer treatments. One day the cure for cancer shall be simple and pain-free. Hopefully that day will come sooner than later. 

I've got to go to school on Saturday... to find out whether my dissertation proposal has been approved or not. I feel... no enthusiasm... am going through the motions... why am I doing this again? I must remind myself constantly. Personally, I don't think it's worth the hassle. 

Tomorrow is Eid-ul-Fitr - have been invited by one of my girlfriends. I've always found it interesting that the end of the year has so many celebrations... Eid, Divali, Christmas... that's what we've got here... all equally celebrated. It's a spiritual time I think... a coming back to ourselves... reaffirm... realign. 

I need to go to bed. 

Nite all...

peace,

Ren