Mini memory of my mom

I realise that the smallest things can bring up memories. Kes the Band is playing tonight at the B.B. King Blues Club and Grill. People might think I know this because I follow Kes the Band (they're a major group here in Trinidad and Tobago) but no, I am aware of this fact because I'm on B.B. King's mailing list. 

In 2010, my parents and I went to New Jersey because my brother was graduating (with honours and etc!). My dad and brother came home soon after but mom and I went adventuring - New Jersey, Massachusetts and New York. Adventure! It was a special time for both of us - I think perhaps she knew it would be her last major bit of travelling, she'd been unwell due to cancer treatments and had pulled through to be able to go to my brother's graduation and then I think to spend time with me. I miss having her to talk to. 

On the day before we came back to Trinidad I took her to brunch at B.B. King where we were entertained by Strawberry Fields (a Beatles tribute band). It was fairly awesome - I posted about it previously when blogging about that trip. I remember her singing along to the songs and that we were both a bit too shy to get up and dance (nobody was dancing!). I remember the taste of the macaroni and cheese and how she couldn't decide on which dessert to have (we ended up taking a bit of everything we could). 

Memories surface as they will. Am thinking about my mom tonight.

peace,

Ren

Circle of Life

"Everything is affected by and is part of everything else, changing constantly from one state to another. The rain becomes the river; the river surrenders to the sea and the cycle begins over again. Nothing is ever lost. The melody changes – the dance goes on." ~Connie Harrison 

Two statements I made to my mom today: 

1. "If I don't have children... who will do my funeral rites?!" 
2. "So... one day, 30 years from now, I will turn to people I'm with and say: 'I looking just like mih mother!'"

It's been an exhausting day... in the emotional sense and not the physical sense. Yesterday, my mom learnt that a friend of hers had passed away. This friend was in the hospital as she'd had a heart-attack the weekend before and I think cancer of some kind before that. Still, it was somewhat unexpected. The woman was my mom's age. They went to secondary school together, went to university together, started working together and today I went with my mom to her funeral. Death is not something I am unfamiliar with... we've known a lot of people that have passed on... it just shakes me up a bit knowing that persons that are as old as my parents are passing away. 

It was a good funeral. My family is not one that appreciates hysterics... or wild outpourings of grief. This funeral was done according to Hindu rites... it was very calm, very prayerful... the Pundit spoke well (not all persons officiating at funerals do). He spoke of how the soul appreciates respect shown to the body for its service in this lifetime and how it is presently a good period to die (a good time of month I think... or a good month :s). My mom met a lot of persons that she knew -  ALL of whom stated that they should meet up more often and not just see each other at funerals. 

*sigh*

Came home and had lively discussions with my family. I'd like to die in October please. I have no clue really whether that's a good month or not though perhaps in some religion or other it is. I just think it would be a good time. I'm not sure if when one's soul leaves one's body it hangs around to note whether respect is being shown. I had a moment where I asked the first question above but then - I've got cousins (lots of them) and I'm sure they'll have children. I'd like to plan my own funeral. My mom would like to plan hers as well. My dad says it matters not to him. My brother says he'll do our last rites. Let's all assume that he's outliving the rest of us. Both my mom and I are concerned about what we'd be dressed in - my brother said that we were nuts. Ah well. 

It's just being prepared really.    

The four of us went out to dinner tonight in celebration of my parents' wedding anniversary and the fact that I now have an MBA. Maybe one day I'll write about why it's very awkward thinking about/celebrating my parents' anniversary but that day is not today. It just is very awkward and it was made more so (for me anyway) by our waitress telling my parents to drop us by our grandparents and have themselves a good night. Ick. Just... ick. And also, both sets of grandparents are no longer alive. The food was excellent though. The music was as well. The only downside, apart from the awkwardness that maybe I alone feel, was that my mom was in pain and such... long day = aches and pains everywhere. Sadness because I know she wants to be out and celebrating and that she feels guilty when we're all concerned about her. C'est la vie. At one point she saw herself in the mirror and commented on how much she looks like her mom... yes, this prompted my second statement above. I think she thinks of her mom often and misses her. I think that I will think of her often and miss her equally when she's gone. We do strongly resemble each other. 

It's been a long day and I'm a bit sad, a bit grumpy, a bit grateful, a bit happy. 

Happy weekend to you.

peace,

Ren

Little House on the Prairie...

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all." ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Once upon a time, I received, as a New Year's gift from my parents (my mom really... though my dad signed his name as well...), the book: 'The Complete Little House on the Prairie'. As a 10-year-old I thought it an excellent read... as a 28-year-old I find that it is still an excellent read. The 'Little House' series was written by Laura Ingalls Wilder and is based on her childhood during the late 19th century. It was beautifully written and provides insight into how persons in that era went through the motions of everyday life. There are times when I think that I would have been more suited to such a lifestyle and there are times when I can't think of how I could live without the modern conveniences of today.

I'd recommend the book for young persons of today though - to see how it was - I think that a lot of times we take for granted what we have... ease of transportation, access to whatever we need (food/shelter/education/health care/entertainment)... Not sure how it is in other countries but in this day and age, our youth (or most of our youth) have the mindset that whatever they want will be given to them - there is very little concept of working for something, there is a false sense of achievement perpetuated by the adults. I'm not quite sure how our society is going to turn out as these youths get older.

My mom and I recently discovered that TCM shows reruns of 'The Little House on the Prairie' television show. My mom remembers watching it at home with her brothers and sisters... and now I watch it with her. I guess that it's a bridging-bonding hour for us. It is entertaining and educational and fairly fun to watch... though of course that's just my opinion and you may not find so. 

I do love it though. If, at some point in the future, it happens that I have children (or my brother does.. or my cousins do...) I'd like to share this with them... both the books and the television shows.

Cuz they are awesome :) 

peace,

Ren