Been so long

 “No matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away.” ~Haruki Murakami

I have not posted here in ages and it shows. The log in is different, the interface. Everything changes.

It is a Saturday 6th April 2024, a Saturday following the Easter weekend. On Saturday 6th April 2013, a Saturday following the Easter weekend, we held my mother's funeral. 

This has been a strange week of living life and, at the same time, swimming through memories. So much has changed, from then to now. So much has shifted, in myself, in my family, in the world around me. 

Everything transforms. Energy flows. There is an eclipse on Monday and I am wondering what the future holds. Que Sera, Sera. 

peace,

Ren

Growing: having or showing life

"You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul." ~Swami Vivekananda

I'm going to be joining a writing club and as a part of that process I have to submit a piece of writing. What have I written though? I came here, to the blog, that's been neglected for so long and found this quote above, waiting in draft form. 

Why did I stop writing? How has life become so busy that I haven't been able to share in a few words, a few moments of my life?

Why am I starting again? Starting anew? 

This life is a funny thing.

peace,
Ren

I now have an herb garden.

"To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves." ~Mahatma Gandhi

There is much to worry about in our country - food security being one of them. I've found myself thinking more about planting food instead of just buying local. I already buy a lot of local produce - have been thinking it's time to move a step further and start producing my own. 

This is not as easy as it sounds because plants do not grow well with me. I have tried planting things before (remember my flower garden of 2011?) but sadly, I've never really succeeded. My parent on the other hand has a green hand (more than a green thumb) so I'm hoping he takes an interest in the plants I want and not just the ones he wants.

He wants to plant seim and bodi which I understand as he eats a lot of them but... I do not like seim (I can manage bodi). Seim vines produce a lot so I know there's going to be a lot of seim in my future. I'd just like for there to be other things as well. I'm planning ochro (we've grown some one year) and bhaigan and tomatoes. They will grow in our yard this year. I will make it happen. 

I decided before doing that though that I should have seasoning. Herbs. Should be easy enough to manage? In the one day and night since making that decision, I stopped by an agricentre and ended up coming home with not one or two but eight (yes, 8) different herbs. They're already planted in troughs and pots so all I have to do is water them and let them grow... I'm hoping they survive. 

Please send growing thoughts. 

peace,
Ren

Thoughts on travelling

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” ~Ray Bradbury 

I got my new passport today. My old one expired in January and, because I do like going places, I went to get it renewed. It took 3 months but today I have my new passport and it's valid for 10 years. Yay!

I've been very busy these past few days (and months and maybe the past year or two). On Sunday I spent the morning at the Blue Star and in the evening we held a session at studio sharing about death and dying. I think it was an awesome way to remember my mom and her own journeys. On Monday my brother and I had a meeting to attend in town to begin planning for the 2nd International Yoga day. We decided to make most of the day an adventure because when else would we be going up to town? Our days are usually filled with classes or people and so it takes a bit to step away from that for other things. On Tuesday I had class and then the cute guy and I went to see Batman vs Superman before heading back to our studio to talk and meet with someone about signage for our space. Today I spent time getting my passport and then had to head up to town again before stopping in by my brother for a bit. 

Busyness. It's become a part of my life. Today I've been thinking about how I want to travel to different places. I find myself thinking that each day we travel - through time and space and experiences. Each day is an opportunity and, though I hope to be able to visit somewhere else soon, I'm going to work at being open to when and how things may happen. 

There are adventures ahead but also day-to-day adventures to enjoy.

peace,
Ren 

Working with a writing prompt today - because why not?

"At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." ~ Alan Alda

Dear Intuition,
You keep speaking to me but I'm not sure that I know how to listen. I am still working on believing in myself - in my strength and my vulnerability. I am still working on trust and faith and many things that sometimes seem to be too much to number.  

You keep speaking to me but maybe I'm just not ready to listen. What will happen if I listen to the quiet inside? Is the world ready for that? Am I ready for that?

You keep speaking to me through my body - each pulse, each breath, each shiver down my spine. Feelings that come up in my gut, my heart or my head. Throbbing between my eyebrows and tingling along my fingertips. 

You keep speaking to me - whispering on the wind, floating in the clouds, through the warmth of the sun on my skin and the feel of the ground beneath. 

You keep speaking to me from the pages of books, from music and song, from cards - I got this one last week: 

"My intuitive senses are opening more and more each and every day. Trust your intuitive wisdom. If your mind is closed, how can you learn anything new?" ~Brian Weiss

Dear Intuition, you keep speaking to me and one day soon I'll know how to open to you, how to listen and how to share. 

peace,
Ren

Cry, Heart, But Never Break

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" ~Edgar Allan Poe

Tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing. My thoughts are all wrapped up in that. It comes and goes, moving between my thoughts of everyday life and my explorations of what I need to do for my growth.

We are having a free session at our studio - to talk about death and dying... I think there is not enough talk about that, not enough sharing of our experiences and thoughts. This is to start to fill that space. 

This came across my timeline (click on the image to follow the link): 

It's appropriate and is now leading me off down the rabbit hole of writings on death, grief and mourning. Three years have passed and there is still grief. As much as there is happiness that she is no longer physically suffering, that her spirit is not free... there is also sorrow that she is not physically here with me. 

Especially in this month as I get ready to celebrate my birthday and especially now as I'm thinking about marriage and what that looks like. 

Today is day 2 of the #100HappyDays project and I've already posted. Our days are filled with so many moments painted in shades of thoughts and feelings.

What do you feel in this moment?

peace,
Ren 

Things I'll be writing about this month:

"The intuitive mind will tell the thinking mind where to look next." ~Jonas Salk

It's the first of April and I'm going to try very hard to write each day. Every day. A post a day! What will I be writing on? Anything that strikes my fancy. This will include:

1. OMG the cute guy and I got engaged! Now we have to get married! And all the drama that happens when planning trying to plan a reception whether you want to have a reception or not. 
2. #100HappyDays - I'm participating in the 100 happy days challenge with a group of friends and also people I don't know. I realise today that this will be deeper and more involved than I expected as I had to google what "happy" meant before deciding on my first post.
3. Death, dying and my thoughts - Sunday 3rd will be 3 years since my mom's passing. We're having a free session at the studio talking about the yogic view of death and have invited someone to talk about palliative care. Death is so much a part of life that I think society needs to think about and talk about it more.
4. Yoga and being a business person. Do they go hand-in-hand? As much as any other occupation I suppose.
5. My CatChile & my parent - they are the two males I currently live with and thus I have many stories about the two.
6. Random other things I think up. 

For now, bedtime. We have an early class in the morning.

Night all!

peace,

Ren