Thinking about energy...

Energy is the core of all matter... including our own bodies. It's something that different cultures have recognised and labelled as Chi, Ki, Qi, Prana, Spirit... that life force that supports us all.

I think energy fields are something that fascinates people... how energy can be manipulated, how we can interact with it and how it can be used in positive or negative ways. 

It's surprising how often energy is portrayed in our culture - my earliest knowledge/understanding of moving energy came not from being involved with the Ashram (though of course that has helped significantly) but from playing Street Fighter. My favourite character (as is perhaps the case with most girls) is Chun-Li; one of her trademark moves is the Kikoken - a move where she focuses energy through her palms and sends it out to her opponent: 

Alex Grey, the co-founder of CoSM (which I'd like to visit someday) has done paintings which 'interweave biological anatomy with psychic and spiritual energies'. His work is perhaps the best examples I've seen of how our energy body may appear.

In my late teens, my mom, brother and I took Tai Chi and Qigong classes for a while. I'd someday like to get certified to teach as well. I think anyone involved with martial arts or dance or sports would have some feeling of how energy moves through our bodies. 

Many years ago my mom bought the book 'Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing through the Human Energy Field' by Barbara Brennan which offers insight to the human energy field; how it looks, functions, can be damaged and how it may be healed. She then went on to learn to do Reiki and whenever I was unwell would provide a bit of healing. I've thought many times of learning but never got around to it... and now the Ashram is having workshops teaching both Levels 1 and 2. 

I'm waffling... I want to do it, but I don't want my whole weekend to be workshops. I should do it, shouldn't I? It's been on my mind for such a long time. It's just one weekend. 

I think I should do it.

peace,
Ren

Contemplations and list-making.

"Goals help focus you on areas in both your personal and professional life that are important and meaningful, rather than being guided by what other people want you to be, do, or accomplish." ~Catherine Pulsifer

I freely admit to watching Friends reruns often. That is/was a fabulous show and is, I believe, the basis for a lot of other shows, which have  their own storylines and quirks but are essentially about friends coming together, such as my other faves: The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother... Yesterday's rerun was the episode 'The One Where They All Turn Thirty' in which Rachel celebrates her 30th birthday and there are flashbacks to the other Friends' birthdays... both Phoebe and Rachel have lists/plans to which they refer in this episode.. of things they'd like to achieve by a certain birthday. It reminded me that I'm supposed to be list-making - I have been - just in my head... thought I'd write it out here so you all could support me, in some way or the other, in getting through it.

In no particular order (though at some point I'd like to have an order).. things I'd like to do in my life:

• Get certified... I've got the MBA - I confess that I still don't quite know what to do with it and that the only reason I did it was because of parental pressure (in fact my dad is now claiming it as his MBA because of all the "WHY am I doing this?! I don't need this stress! I'm only doing it cuz YOU wanted me to do it" drama)... the certifications I really want?
• YTT  - yes, I'd like to do Yoga Teacher Training.. and I know where I want to do it... I'd like to do this 200-hour YTT and follow it with training on teaching yoga to children and seniors... then I'd like to come back home and teach.
• Certified Integral Qigong and Tai Chi™ Teacher - Way back when I was 16/17 I started doing Tai Chi and Qigong... it's amazing. I'm out of practice now but .. in 2009 I had a weekend workshop with Dr. Roger Jahnke and was re-inspired... I've wanted to do this training since then... then I'd like to come back home and teach the elderly.   
• Become a spy - not a killing-people-spy.. but a sexy-badass-spy - through the Stiletto Spy School - one of my best girl people had her birthday yesterday - we were trying to find something fun/exciting/daring to do as a girl group (epic fail that was..) ... If we were all in either NYC or Las Vegas... I'd have suggested that we become spies... because it is something that I want to do and it looks like so much fun! .. In fact maybe that should be the 30th b'day event. I've already got a spy-name and everything - courtesy of a fellow Kripalu volunteer... though I'm not about to divulge it yet :)
• Visit Findhorn... and maybe England and Ireland while I'm in that area... yes, there will be photo-taking. Actually... I'd like to travel here, there and everywhere.
• Learn to properly/fluently speak a foreign language. I've done Spanish at CXC... I've done Spanish for business courses... I can't remember much of it. Immersion may be necessary... so... live in a place where a foreign language is spoken (it doesn't have to be Spanish).
• Learn to sew... I can do embroidery... I can do chain-stitch and cross-stitch and various other pretty stitches... I have a fond memory of my (maternal)  grandma and I sewing together. I'd like to actually be able to make a garment though.. am somewhat inspired by our own Anya Ayoung-Chee and the fact that my (paternal) grandma was a bit of a seamstress... I should be able to sew.
• Clean my room... aka de-clutter... I'm sure my family would be happy to read this... and happier when it actually happens.. this should probably be at the top of my list.. meh.   
• Go on a cruise. I don't care where... wait - I do care. Go on a cruise somewhere warm. Alaska you are out.
• Change the world.. for the better.. I'm not sure how yet though I'm sure whatever I'm doing now is also helping.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Gonna work my way through this and think of other things along the way...  

peace,

Ren

Body awareness...

"You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." ~C. S. Lewis

I've been feeling achy lately... in an I've been in this position too long (I'm at a desk most of the day) or I've not stretched much kinda achy. I know that exercise would help. I know that this is what my body wants and really that I should get involved with some sort of discipline... yoga, tai chi, dance - I've been exposed to a lot of stuff but at the moment I'm finding it hard to get going, to start something. Inertia... I'm feeling it myself.

I'm a fan of America's Next Top Model... It's interesting to me to see the poses they can drop into (or have practiced or are coached into). This week one of the models was told that when she's not modelling - not in the photo-shoot moment - she needs to be aware of what her body expresses cuz for models they're judged both on and off camera. It's the same for everyone I think...

In yesterday's talk, Sri Vasudeva speaks about body awareness... it's an interesting talk and the discussion (which I missed most of because I'm at work) was even more interesting... what really stands out to me (and to my mom too apparently) is this paragraph:

"It is therefore extremely important to understand, "What does my physical body truly need to be well and supportive, and to be resilient in the human experience? What does it need from me that it can serve me the best, so that we can co-exist in a harmonious and purposeful relationship?" This requires cultivating physical body awareness in an objective way. In a way that you truly understand the body, its intelligence and its needs, being able to see the difference between its needs and your desires, covering or masking those needs. That is extremely important. Be in touch with your body."

I remember, when I was in secondary school, one day as I climbed the stairs with my friend that she said to me, "Ren, you always have the best posture...". I need to get back to that. Need to stretch, to move, to breathe a little bit more.

Maybe you can encourage me?

peace,

Ren