Starting again (and again... and again).

"Growth is a spiral process, doubling back on itself, reassessing and regrouping." ~ Julia Margaret Cameron

I took a look back at 2015 and realised there were just two posts. This makes me sad - that I didn't take the time to write and record what was going on, that I wrote about starting back writing and I didn't and, that now I don't have the words to look back on from all the little moments. Ah well. I start again.

It's the last day of March and, as is usual for this time of year, I am contemplative. Reflecting on how the past year has been and preparing for my upcoming birthday and the new year to follow. A bit of recapping of 2015 is called for as I did not write at the time. There were miserable moments and happy moments - all learning experiences. 

In February 2015 we got robbed. The cute guy and I were out adventuring - cocoa night at Mariposa Gardens which was awesome and delicious and beautiful - and then we got robbed on our return to our car. Note to self: when parking in the daytime try to figure out what the place will look like when it's dark. It was our first experience being robbed and really not as bad as it could have been. We were healthy and whole and eventually (after a week or two) our things were returned to us. It does make me wonder about our society and our police force - I'm sure people knew who was responsible but no one was actually held. I wonder if people don't usually report that they've been robbed and so incidences like that just fade away. A year later and our crime situation is much more worse than it was. 

Also in February 2015 my parent got mad and told me to leave the house. I did (for a few days) - I don't think he expected that I'd actually go anywhere. Since my mom's passing we've all been working on how to relate to each other (consciously and unconsciously). It's a work-in-progress as, I think, life is. The more I work on myself - on figuring out what emotions I hold and hide, the judgements I make of myself and others, the thoughts that come and go - the more my relationships and my ability to relate to others have improved.

For my birthday last year the cute guy and I took four days off and went to Tobago. Such beauty in our country! Had birthday dinner at Table for Two and then got cake from my friend Herschel (we stayed by her)! We visited the Tobago Cocoa Estate and the Orange Hill Goat Dairy Farm. We drove all over the island! We ate lots of food! We checked out the pool and the bay at the Bacolet Beach Club! I think we all need time away from our everyday life both to appreciate what else is out there and, on our return, to appreciate what we already have. 

We were in Tobago again at year end - shooting a wedding on Old Year's Night. Have I ever mentioned that the cute guy is a photographer? He's an awesome one and I've started shooting alongside. No pressure on me as he takes all the shots that need to be taken and I get to experiment and work on improving my photo-taking skills. I think I see how there are lots of couples in the photography business. I've also learnt over the past year that I like culling photos - something he doesn't like (or takes forever to do) - so this works out well for us. 

The rest of the year, all of the days in-between, has been spent on yoga and running a yoga business. I have been thinking of writing a book: the yoga of running a yoga business. For me it's been about building a community - I find it hard to charge people for things I would willingly share. This is where the difficulty of business lies - must charge to be able to share. It is very fulfilling to be able to share and through working with others I've been working on myself. Growth. It's happening. 

Tomorrow is the first of April - I'll start writing about 2016 then :) It's been fabulous thus far! Hope yours is as well.

peace,
Ren 

Impetus

"Our work is less about changing people than about designing environments that rouse the healing and creative impulses latent in each of us and in the group." ~Alan Briskin

Hello again world. 

I've been thinking about writing here for quite some time. There's been lots of different nudges - circumstances that have me thinking about sharing and composing bits of blog posts in my head. Today I'm here.

The mother of a friend who comes to my classes has passed and today is her funeral. It's being held in the same place that we held my mom's. The cute guy and I will be attending because it's support yes? Holding space for others. Keeping everything from boiling up and over just by being there. 

I've been thinking a lot about how lucky I've been in terms of family and relationships and circumstances. I didn't realise I was thinking it was lucky till I just wrote that. 

I've been thinking a lot about the situations I've been through, lessons learned and support that I have. I'm trying to figure out how to share it all with the world.

This morning I reread the posts I wrote during the month of my mom's passing and I'm strongly reminded that I'd like to write a book about her. I have to start it soon. It's been on my mind the past few weeks with certain family situations that have been popping up. 

I feel like writing. Maybe I start here.

peace,
Ren

Happy New Year!

"Face new challenges, seize new opportunities, test your resources against the unknown and in the process, discover your own unique potential". ~ John Amatt

It's the Chinese New Year today and I thought since I haven't written at all for this year that it's a good time to do so. How are you world? What's happening? I hope the good outweighs the bad. Positive over negative. The wheel of time turns - what goes up must come down so I know that everything has a cycle, an upturn and a downturn. 

If life is good right now then take a moment to appreciate it. If it isn't then wait a moment - good things are coming. I'm being patient - taking the time to appreciate the good things in my life and preparing to receive what may come next. I'll be checking in here from time to time so look out for me!

peace,

Ren

Goodbye 2014!

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instil in us." ~Hal Borland

It's the end of the year and I haven't been on here as much as I would have liked. I've been busy with yoga business. I tell people right now it's a lot more work doing the business side than the yoga - everyone seems to be, 'oh it must be tiring doing all that yoga!'. It's the business side of it that is most tiring, that requires a lot of mental power. Perhaps one day I shall write about the yoga of business. 

It's been a happy year - a year of figuring out what I can do, how I can improve, what I can contribute to the world at large. It's been a stressful year - figuring out finances and trying to manifest abundance. It's been a really good year with the cute guy. It's been an up and down year with the parent. It's been about the same with my brother. 

Lots to look forward to in 2015. I've got lots of plans - just need to figure out how to bring them into being. 

Wish you all the best for 2015! May it be a year of growth and abundance, of love and family. 

peace,

Ren

When opportunity knocks...

"Every door is another passage, another boundary we have to go beyond." ~Rumi

This week I'll be attending a four-day Mediation Skills Training Workshop. I'm not yet sure why. I'm sure at some point in the future I'll figure it out. For now, I have the opportunity to do it and why waste an opportunity?

I am excited - because I like learning new things. Nervous - because I do not like being in front of people. Optimistic - because surely this can only lead to positive things. Anxious - because I will not be home for four days; hopefully the brother, parent and Cat Chile get along well. Aggravated - because I had to find four outfits of a business-suit nature and after just over a year of not wearing such it's a bit frustrating. 

What are you up to this week?

peace,

Ren

November 1st

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." ~Alan Watts

November and I find myself thinking that it's been just over a year since I left my job. It's been just over a year and a half since my mom passed away. Nine months since I've started my own business. Time passes so quickly and we don't even realise that it is doing so. We are caught up in living and I think that maybe that is a good way for time to pass. 

What is time passing? Moments that flow from one to the other. Seconds into minutes into days into months into a year and more. I am different now than I was before. You are a different person than the one you were when you opened up this site and started to read. I think it is interesting how we choose to spend our time. What do we give our attention to? Who do we stay with? What do we want to do most? 

I think there aren't enough people in my country thinking about what to give their attention to. Not enough people thinking about what is important for our country - if we were to still be around twenty years from now, what kind of world will we be living in?

Perhaps there are people, perhaps not. This month I think about me - who I am, what I'm doing, where I want to go. It's important I think.

peace,

Ren

Reflecting

"I don't think we spend enough time in reflection and introspection. We don't know who we are as individuals in this culture any more." ~Naomi Judd

A lot has happened in the time that I have not written here. Lots to figure out and work through. I'm 31 now and it is a strange thing to hear myself say. Adulthood is strange. Owning a business is strange. Wondering about the meanings and origins of words as I write them is strange. 

I feel introspective and perhaps this is why I'm returning to the blog. Need some space in which to work out my thoughts. What am I thinking? I'm thinking that I need to make time to do more reading relevant to life and living. That the physical body has built-in phases of life... I'm currently thinking about the possibility of marriage and kids and it's freaking me out a bit as I know that not so long ago the thoughts of such would not have occurred to me at all or would not have lingered as long. Are we hard-wired to start thinking about such things? There are those who don't so I don't think we are but... it's a bit of a possibility.

I've been thinking that owning a business is fun and interesting and scary all at the same time. That I'm not sure I'm entrepreneurial at all or that I'm in any way interested in 'business' - somehow I've decided to do my own thing and am now where I am. I've been thinking that hopefully at some point all of the education I've had will resolve into knowing how to market this business and do my accounts properly, figure out what people want and be able to provide for them and myself. 

I've been thinking that money is an annoying thing to think about so I'm now thinking in terms of prosperity and abundance.

I've been thinking that there are a lot of people moving through their lives without giving thought to how they've come to be here or where they're going. Been thinking about relationships and interactions - about give and take and emotional investment. Have been thinking about past relationships and what they've taught me. 

What have you been thinking? Any thoughts on what I'm thinking? 

peace,

Ren