Terrific Tuesday...

"Health, contentment, and trust are your greatest possessions. And freedom your greatest joy." ~Buddha

I never know quite what to name blog posts so this will have to do - cuz it's really been a good day. No work today - was in Mayaro with the family (work people if you're reading this it was due to circumstances beyond my control). Got up with the sunrise and took photos, went back to bed, went walking on the beach, was befriended by stray dogs, went 'swimming' (it's in quotation marks cuz I can't really swim - I've had lessons on multiple occasions but they've never stuck) in a pool with my dad, tried to coax my mom in, spent some time in a jacuzzi, bickered with my brother, came home and played with and fell asleep with the kitten (who is a big cat now), and then realised that I'd gotten my Pottermore email (which resulted in a lot of time spent as I figured out the basics - I am now officially a Slytherin).  

Overall it was a Very Good Day. 

Hope you had one as well..

peace,

Ren

Events in the World...

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." ~Buddha

There's a Full Moon in Scorpio today and apparently it's thought to be the most powerful full moon of the year known as Wesak (or Vesak) - celebrating the birthday, enlightenment and entry into nirvana of the Buddha. This article states that, 'According to esoteric traditions the Buddha returns at this time every year to dispense healing light to the world'. I think that's definitely something that is needed.  

What's also needed in the world is tolerance... it's the International Day against Homophobia & Transphobia today. My country is one where I believe there are a lot of homophobic/transphobic people. Both understanding and tolerance is needed... people are people. That is all. The following message is from UNAIDS Executive Director Michel Sidibé and highlights the importance of ending stigma and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. It makes me happy that there are people working towards such goals in the world.

On a lighter note (or perhaps not ... it depends on your personal views)... May is Zombie Awareness Month. This month is dedicated to raising awareness of upcoming zombie epidemics... if you want to be prepared I'd suggest this book. Whilst I haven't read it (must get a copy...) I have read World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War  which is written by the same author and which I found to be totally awesome. If you really need to be prepared then I'd suggest following the official blog of the Zombie Research Society.

Key words to remember: Health. Tolerance. Safety. It's all related.

peace,

Ren

A pill a day...

"To keep the body in good health is a duty – otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." ~Buddha

I have a headache - I've had it since Sunday so today is Day 5 of me-with-a-headache. Constant  pounding pain in my head though today it's down to a dull roar. I fear it still makes me think that I'm dying. I don't do well with headaches... I'd rather any other body part ache but really? my head? OW. ow. ow. ow. I'm also somewhat nauseous... and I admit that the world tilts sometimes when I stand up. By Tuesday (day 3 of me-with-a-headache) I started wondering if something was seriously wrong with me. Pain-nauseau-dizziness sorta indicates non-healthiness.

By yesterday though (day 4!) I figured out what it was. In fact I had an epiphany... what was wrong with me? I came off the pill. Ta da! I'm having withdrawal symptoms I guess. I must say they suck extremely... and it's kinda unfair that it was easy to go on (no side-effects [that I'm aware of] apart from clearer skin - which admittedly is a great side-effect) and now that I've decided to give my body a break and let it get back to regulating itself I'm having issues. Aargh.

I was put on the pill by my doctor... and I'm going to lay the blame for this bit of drama squarely at the feet of this MBA (I'm still not convinced it's worth it). Apparently I was so stressed (and you can probably read about that stress in earlier posts) that my hormones and therefore my cycle went out of whack. What was needed? Pills. Or just one pill a day really. I started in October and now that it's the beginning of April I thought I'd stop... or take a break... or something so. Because the truth of it is that I hate pills / tablets  / syrups / medication. I'm near completion with the MBA... I'm not having sex... it's my birth month... all good reasons in my mind for coming off the birth control pill - cuz that's what this pill is. Yes, there are benefits to the pill... I'm just not sure that the side-effects (listed [by the pill's maker] and non-listed [has there been enough study on the effects of the pill? each woman has a different reaction from what I've heard]) are worth the benefits. Especially not now that my head feels as though it's splitting open. Am going to try to figure out how to manage my hormones, my body, myself without the aid of pills.. patches.. shots.. any other thing that the medical community may come up with. It's not that I don't think medications and the like aren't useful (lord knows right now I can use some painkillers)... just that in this case - this area of taking care of my own health - I'd like to go as natural as possible.

It's World Health Day today - this year's theme focuses on 'Combat Drug Resistance…..No Action Today, No Cure Tomorrow’. So much is happening in the world ... I think that if we focus first on our health then we can focus on the health of our families and communities. I need to remind myself of this at times. This year's theme for the Blue Star's Forty Days is 'Secrets to True Well-Being - Tap into the Transforming Power of Consciousness'. It's something I'm following and speaks to the development of ourselves through development of our consciousness - our spiritual self - of healing from within. Thinking a lot about my health today.  

peace,

Ren

Question for the masses: If you could live in the time of a great master (past or present) who would it be?

"The soul is here for its own joy." ~Rumi 

 It's a holiday today - I spent the morning half of it reading 'Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment' by Deepak Chopra. I get fixated on books - if there's one that I've started reading that *really* captures my interest - I don't stop reading it till it's done. This is why my entire morning was spent reading about the Buddha and also why I spent the entire evening yesterday reading 'Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment'. There's one more that needs to be read 'Muhammad: A Story of the Last Prophet' - unfortunately we don't have it (though as soon as I'm able I shall find a book store). It is my belief that, just as events happen when they're supposed too, books are read when they're needed - both of these books have been in my house for some time (I believe my brother bought the one about Buddha and my mom bought the one on Jesus) but I hadn't gotten around to reading them till last evening/this morning. 

I totally recommend. They are fictional tales of what may have been the years/story we do not know of in the lives of the Buddha and Jesus. The storytelling reminds me somewhat of the Avalon series of Marion Zimmer Bradley and Diana L. Paxson. The Avalon series - which I dearly love and adore (my favourites being Priestess of Avalon and Ravens of Avalon) - focus on the early history of Britain as told from the viewpoint of women... according to the Wikipedia site, the series: 'Through a set of stories that spans several centuries, it tells of how the mystic isle of Avalon was created, its history, life in Britain under Roman authority, and how Avalon and its ancient traditions faded from the world because of a new religion, Christianity.'

When I read the world slips away such that most of my awareness is focused on the story (perhaps this is why I'm such a bookworm?)... and it is this that has led me to the title of today's post. If you could live in the time of a great master ... who would that person be? ... when would it be? ... would you return to the physical realm again and again with the same master? ... would you be the master?  - I guess I should note that when I say/write 'master' I don't necessarily mean a male being... There is a significant lack of information regarding enlightened females. A google search which in this day and age leads to much information gathering doesn't reveal that much (perhaps I'm using the wrong search terms?) ... what I did find? This most interesting article by Osho who states that:

"A woman cannot be a Master — it is not possible. When a woman arrives she becomes a Mistress, not a Master. The fulfilment of a woman is love. The flowering of a woman is love. Mastery is not the goal of the feminine mind; they don’t become Masters, they become Mistresses. To be a Master is basically a male effort."

Hmm. 

I do not know whether I'm seeking enlightenment. I'm trying to understand my purpose for being. I'm trying to make this world a better place. Sri Vasudeva in his talk today has said that:

"The human experience is one that Nature affords us. Nature has created the physical body so it is not part of our spiritual makeup. It is a vehicle for the experience of this earthly dimension or earthly plane."

Everything I've read and heard recently feels like a reminder to myself - it is all something I know already... something that I can look at and agree within myself that 'this is so'. What more is there to be done? We are all journeying... there always seems to be questions. 

peace,

Ren

I want a new job.

"It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn; and whether it was the outward substance of things, or the inner spirit of nature and the mysterious soul of man that occupied me, still my inquiries were directed to the metaphysical, or, in its highest sense, the physical secrets of the world." ~ Mary Shelley

I really do want a new job. I've been saying this for some time (as in since 2009). It's not that I've got a bad job per se... it's just that I'm simply not happy with it... and perhaps now is the time to get serious about moving on. Today is Thursday - every single day since last Thursday I've arrived at work in a fairly pleasant mood and within less than an hour have had that good mood plummet... sink so much so that I'm fairly grouchy and have to constantly remind myself to be nice to people. As Kathy Bremer says in this article: 'When I wake up two days in a row lacking excitement about work, it's time to consider a move'. I've been waking up and seriously contemplating calling in sick every day for this week so far (in fact the only reason I didn't is because I took last Friday off :s)... It's obviously time to move on.

People (family and friends) may wonder why. I'm permanent after all. I get a fairly ok salary & health insurance and the company contributes each month towards my pension fund. I get upkeep allowance for my car (because my position requires going off site to visit other companies). It's not far from home - about 30 minutes away on a good day (15 minutes on a *really* good day a.k.a. a day with no traffic). I can do the work. I sometimes like the work - it's interesting at times. These are all the reasons I've not left yet.

I want to leave though. I read this article recently... trying to figure out if I could make myself happier with the job... but no. I still want to leave (and soon). It's just stressful... The work is frustrating when processes aren't followed. The persons in management positions don't seem to know how to manage. My eyes seem to be failing after so much time spent doing computer work (seriously - today I could not tell a cat from a dog :s). Am generally concerned about my overall health. "Is it all worth it" - is the question that I'm asking myself and more often I'm coming up with no.

So. I want a new job. I just have to figure out what that new job could be. What are my skills? What are my strengths? What do I like doing? Why am I drawing a blank here??? *Sigh* I've done the Myers-Briggs test... and found out that I'm an INFsomething... I say something because at different times I've been INFP and others INFJ... I need a career that is more than a job - I knew this before the test but this confirms it right? I just need to figure out exactly what it is that I want... help?

Yesterday I went to the mall (to pay bills... ergh... went book-browsing - which turned into book-buying - to cheer myself up after) and was accosted by a lady wanting to know if I'd like to know another way of earning income. Hmm. Is it a scam? A sign from the Universe? Apparently they (group of ladies) were taking names for a seminar this weekend on how one can start another revenue stream... Hmm. Today, I opened up my inbox and found an email from Omega - encouraging me to Join their Seasonal Staff... I would absolutely love to do that... except I'd have to pay air fare and etc... hmm.

Perhaps I should make a list of some sort... will go back and read articles and spend time on reflection and the like... My hexagram today (courtesy Tarot.com) is Revolutionary Change - it refers to that time of life when things need stirring up. I feel stirred - just not sure when I'll be settled. 

Help?

ren 

p.s. another quote just because I like this one as well:

"Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it." ~Buddha

Living in the Body...

"To keep the body in good health is a duty – otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." ~ Buddha 

Today I visited my doctor for what I thought would be a regular check-up. I left my doctor with two x-rays of my lower spine, 2 injections (one on each side of my tailbone) and pills to last the week. Ergh. Apparently I've got 'Sacroiliitis' which is inflammation in both my sacroliac joints. :S Just so you know what that is... according to Solonen, K. (1957)  via Wikipedia, "In humans, the sacrum supports the spine and is supported in turn by an ilium on each side. The joint is a strong, weightbearing synovial joint with irregular elevations and depressions that produce interlocking of the two bones". 

I've been having lower back pain for some time (months) but really just thought it's cuz I do a lot of computer work and thus a lot of sitting. It turns out that this really is the reason but it's more serious than I thought. I have this issue where if I'm feeling a little bit unwell I complain (a lot) but if I'm feeling really unwell I tend to brush it off. Obviously this needs to change. I've got to pay more attention to my body and what it's telling me. Cuz I *really* don't want to have any serious medical issues later on.

When I was 13 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in its advanced stages. It is truly a gift ... and a miracle of sorts that 14 years later she's still with us and fairly healthy. She's had recurring bouts of cancer about 4 times.. 5? after treatment (in the early days radiation and chemo - now we're looking at alternative means) she goes into remission. It's been a lot of doctor's visits and hospital visits and interactions with doctors and patients and survivors. The experience has only left me with a healthy dislike for conventional medicine and hospitals. I don't want to have any personal experiences with them.

And so, I need to be more aware and take care of my body. It's the only one I've got in this lifetime after all. I generally think I'm fairly healthy... I'm a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, I have just about the ideal body weight for my height, I exercise (somewhat - much less now that I'm studying).. It's a bit of a shock to know that I can maybe have an issue that could turn into something more challenging. 

So. Healthy thoughts and vibes begin now. Want to join me? Love your body cuz it's the only one you've got. Meditation. Affirmation. Healthy eating. Exercise. I'm gonna work on it. 

peace,

Rtr